Berachos 053: Havdalah and Women

[Mordecai Kornfeld]

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Berachos 053: Havdalah and Women

David Kalb <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> asked:

Dear Rabbi:

I have a question about Havdalah and Women.

I understand that there is a position then men when they recite Mariv on
Motsay Shabbat should make a point to leave Minyan before Havdalah so that
they can recite Havdalah for their wife. The reason being is that there is
some problem with doing it for your wife once you have heard it youself
because you are already Yotsay. So when you do it for her you do not really
need to do it since you're are yotsay and she does not really have to hear
it because she is not obligated. What's more she can not really do it for
herself because she is not obligated. Can you verify what I just wrote and
give all of the sources including specific citations. Also could you
explain what is the problem of women reciting Havdalah for themselves or
other women and why it is different from Lulav or Sukah. 

Shalom

David Kalb
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The Kollel replies:

Dear David

Thanks for your questions and analysis of the issue. There are three major
issues which must be clarified.

1) Are women obligated to make Havdalah?
2) If the answer to question #1 is negative, can the woman choose to make
Havdalah nonetheless, just as does in the case of Lulav and Sukah?
3) Assuming the answer to question #2 is affirmative can a man opt to make
Havdalah for a woman after he was already Yotzei Havdalah earlier? 

1) The Shulchan Oruch (OC 296:8) states that women are obligated to make
Havdalah just as they are obligated to make Kiddush, but some opinions
differ. The Rema states that therefore women should not make Havdalah
themselves, but rather hear it from a man.

2) Mishnah Berurah (35) quotes the Bach who permits women to make their own
Havdalah just as they may recite a Brachah for Shofar and Lulav. 

3) If a man was already Yotzei Havdalah he may not make it specifically for
a woman, since according to one opinion, woman are not obligated to make
Havdalah, (see Rema 589:6 who forbids a man making the Brachah for Shofar,
when blowing specifically for women). 

It is also important to point out that the custom is for women not to drink
from the Kos of Havdalah (MB ibid:5)

If we sum it all up, the best thing is to follow the ruling of the Rema and
have the women being Yotzei by hearing it from a man. This avoids all
complications. If this is impossible, the woman should make Havdalah
herself, since the Shulchan Aruch sides with the opinion that a woman is
indeed obligated to make Havdalah. (In this case she may and is required to
drink from the Kos a proper amount.)

A man who already was Yotzei Havdalah may not make Havdalah specifically
for a woman.

Therefore, the custom you mentioned, having in mind not to be Yotzei with
Havdalah done in the Shul, is indeed the correct practice if there are
women back home.

All the best

Y. Landy


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