Re: Berachos 053: Havdalah and Women

[Mordecai Kornfeld]

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Re: Berachos 053: Havdalah and Women

David Kalb asked:

>> I understand that there is a position then men when they recite Mariv on
>> Motsay Shabbat should make a point to leave Minyan before Havdalah so
>> that they can recite Havdalah for their wife. The reason being is that
>> there is some problem with doing it for your wife once you have heard it
>> youself because you are already Yotsay.  <<

The Kollel replied:

>> The Shulchan Oruch (OC 296:8) states that women are obligated to make
>> Havdalah just as they are obligated to make Kiddush, but some opinions
>> differ. The Rema states that therefore women should not make Havdalah
>> themselves, but rather hear it from a man. <<

>> The custom you mentioned, having in mind not to be Yotzei with Havdalah
>> done in the Shul, is indeed the correct practice if there are women back
>> home. <<

------

Sam Kosofsky commented:

>> It seems a little funny to leave shul early anyway. <<

The Kollel replied:

>> I'm not recommending leaving Shul early. One can remain and hear
>> Havdalah, but have in mind not to be Yotzei. <<

------

David Kalb responds:

Dear Rav Landy:

Thanks for your reply. Your point out that the Shulchan Oruch (OC 296:8)
states that women are obligated to make Havdalah just as they are obligated
to make Kiddush, but some opinions differ. Can you e-mail me the opinions
that differ including the exact sources.

I agree with you and Sam Kosofsky that it is improper to leave Mariv early
so as not to hear Havdalah. 

However, in the class I attended, I am sure that the Rav actually said this
was the preference.

Can this be true?  Is there such a source for this?

Can someone not be Yotsay Havdalah simply by having in mind not to, even if
they are in fact present, and seeing and hearing what is going on.

Please respond including all sources,

Shalom.

David Kalb

----------------------------------------------
The Kollel replies:

Shalom again

Regarding the explanation behind the two opinions, please see Mishnah
Berurah 296:34. 

I am not a substitute for your Rabbi. If he feels that leaving early is the
best method, he has his proper reasons. I just mentioned that in the event
that you feel awkward leaving Shul early, there is another method which is
also commonly utilized. I'm sure you can discuss this issue with him.

The key to being Yotsay is the intention (Kavanah). The Mishnah (Rosh
HaShanah 27b) states that when two people hear Shofar, one will fulfill his
obligation while the other will not, all depending on their intentions.  

Kol tuv

Yehuda Landy


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