dearhabermas  

Re: Fwd: Jolene's comments on sex abuse and the church

RLC McLaughlin
Fri, 26 Apr 2002 19:58:19 -0700

Dear Jeanne,

It's easy to jump onto a popular bandwagon, and I don't fault anyone for 
giving in to the current tidal wave of media blitz and spin.  But whenever 
I've allowed myself to do that in the past and responded in a singularly 
emotional manner, I felt as though I'd been caught with venom on my face.  
So I try to remind myself to slow down, look at the total picture, and 
THINK, rather than simply respond.


Priests who molest children are vile.  No doubt.  The violation of any sworn 
office is treachery, and the abuse of any power is degrading; to the office, 
to the holder of the office, and most especially to the victim. Whether it's 
a priest or a president or a parent, the effect is the same; no more, no 
less.  What is easily forgotten in this time of scandal and outrage is that 
the priesthood encompasses far more good men than bad.  Without this 
acknowledgement, the constant barrage of blame and accusations loses 
validity.  Individual transgression that are allowed to expand until they 
indict an entire group can be dangerous.  Time usually prevails, and 
relegates hysteria to forgotten history.  But not always.  At the moment a 
faithful, practicing Catholic might be viewed as ignorant and uninformed. 
Tomorrow, the assessment might be more severe.

Jolene said, "I think that they all need to 'come out of the closet' if they 
are gay and that's why they chose that profession."  This seems to
assume that gays are automatically pedophiles, and that the only reason they 
pursued the priesthood was because they're gay.  This is an injustice to 
gays, an injustice to men, and an injustice to the beliefs that are held by 
a great many people.  Gays are accepted into the priesthood of the Catholic 
Church; the sexual restrictions placed upon gays are identical to the 
restrictions placed upon heterosexuals.  Sexual orientation is not an issue; 
sexual activity is.  Homosexuality no more inhibits the sense of 
accomplishing "the work of God" than the condition of heterosexuality would 
do.  Therefore, sexual orientation is as irrelevant in the choice of 
profession within the clergy as it is within any other profession.

Pedophilia is sickening, but the occupation of the pedophile is of no 
significance.  Pediatricians, psychologists, fathers, mothers, aunts,
teachers, Boy Scout leaders, babysitters, postmen, lawyers, police officers, 
social workers...take your pick.  If an opportunity is sought, it will 
eventually be found; a pedophile in search of children will find them.  This 
is the issue.  This is what must be addressed.  To focus on the Church is to 
lose sight of the true target.  It accomplishes nothing in solving the 
problem.  But to state that pedophiles need to "come out of the closet" only 
labors the obvious and provides potential victims with nothing more than 
useless gestures, feel-good rhetoric, and a blind eye turned momentarily in 
the right direction.  What's lost in the cacophony is that the priesthood, 
like every other organization in the world, is made up of people.  The 
Catholic church is made up of people.  And people screw up.

While I am no longer practicing, I was raised Catholic, and have know many 
priests.  Father Kelly, Father Blaney, Father Crow, Father Mason... they 
were the positive, influential males in my childhood.  I've still never met 
men so kind and honorable as were these simple priests, and I wonder 
sometimes if it was they who kept me from hating the world.  My father is a 
pedophile, and a violent one.  So my memories of priests are made of times 
like the morning at school when Father Mason sang "When Irish Eyes Are 
Smiling" to me.   I'd been so sad.  My father had called me, among other 
things, a "cunt" and thrown hot coffee in my face not more than an hour 
before.  Father Mason gave me back all that my father had taken away.  He 
replaced the fear and the futility and the bewilderment that was inside of 
me with hope and love and safety.  He was my protector, my champion, and to 
have him assigned to the pedophile's pigeon-hole is something I will not 
allow to happen.     I could go on and on, with countless examples of good 
men in the priesthood and all that they did for me and my sisters and 
brother.  Churches are full of good men, as are mosques and synagogues and 
neighborhoods and schools and Boy Scouts and...but you get my point. 
Pedophiles should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, because 
they murder the spirit.  If only there were as much energy directed at 
protecting potential victims as there is presently directed toward the 
administrative failings and alleged cover-ups of the Catholic Church, 
something quite wonderful might happen.

Sadly, I believe Jolene speaks for many.  When I hear a Catholic comment to 
a newsperson that they're ashamed of being Catholic because of what has 
occurred, it breaks my heart.  I think of the honorable men and women who've 
foregone any semblance of what is considered a 'good' life, and are, 
instead, there to comfort and reassure little girls who have had hot coffee 
thrown in their faces.  I pray that people recognize that the children 
require advocacy, and that the criminals require justice.  The Church 
requires only time.  It's been there in times worse and better than this. 
It's reformed itself, modernized itself, modified itself, all due to the 
readjustments necessary to identify, articulate, and perhaps isolate the 
infinite potential of the human condition.  It reflects the times, and deals 
with whatever it is we present to it at any given moment.  But always in 
it's own good time.  It has plenty.

Love and peace,
Mac



>From: Jeanne Curran <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
>Subject: Fwd: Jolene's comments on sex abuse and the church
>Date: Fri, 26 Apr 2002 12:51:45 -0700
>
>Thought you guys would like to follow some of this.  I added Jolene to the
>Dearhabermas list. love and peace, jeanne
>
>
>
>>Date: Fri, 26 Apr 2002 11:12:18 EDTSubject: Priests abusing children
>>To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>>We discussed last night in our SOC class about priests molesting/abusing
>>children.
>>It leaves a sick feeling in my stomach.  I think that they all need to 
>>"come
>>out of the closet" if they are gay and that's why they chose that 
>>profession.
>>  They need to be convicted of their crime and pay the penalty for their
>>actions just like all the other molesters do (when they are caught).  I 
>>don't
>>think the church ought to keep it hidden (Mahony) and allow them to 
>>continue
>>to work with children (or teen-age girls if they are heterosexual).  These
>>men aren't leading spritual lives.  If they were, they wouldn't be taking
>>advantage of children and using them for their own pleasure.  I think 
>>there's
>>a big difference between religion and spirituality.
>>Jolene
>
>




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