One fine day in ancient Rome, Julius Caesar turned
his attention to
a problem plaguing his mighty empire: laundry.
Getting all those
white togas clean was a constant pain. He also had
some weird ideas
that if he could get the togas stiff enough, they
would be like a
light coat of armor... not enough to last through a
sustained battle,
but enough to ward off an assassin's arrow.
He figured the easiest way to get this done on a
large scale would
be to dump a bunch of detergent into a tidal pool,
and dump the
toga's in afterwards. (This was two thousand years
ago... the
environmental movement was restricted to a few
druids here and
there). The gentle motion of the tides would wash
the dirt out.
Afterwards, all that would have to be done would be
to throw some
starch in, and then pull the toga's out to dry.
He assigned this task to some of his scientists and
engineers. They
started executing his plan, and all was going well
until they threw
in the starch. The goddess of nature, angered at the
environmental
destruction, caused a huge tidal wave to spring up
and wash over the
assembled workers. A stiff breeze afterwards dried
them off so
quickly they were all frozen into place.
After a little while, Caesar began to wonder about
the progress of
the enterprise, so he decided to visit the site with
some of his
advisors. Arriving at the tidal pool, he was unable
to make heads or
tails of the sight of his workers stuck standing
there.
Until of course, one of his advisors whispered to
him: "Beware, the
tides of starch."
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