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[xChange] Bill Gates in Heaven

Paul Croft
Wed, 22 May 2002 10:57:14 -0700

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Bill Gates arrives at the Pearly Gates....

"Well, Bill," says God, "I'm really confused on this one.  I'm not sure 
whether to
send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by 
putting
a computer in almost every home in the world, and yet you created that ghastly
Windows.  I'm going to do something I've never done before.  I'm going to let
you decide where you want to go!"

Bill Gates replies, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"

God says, "You can take a peek at both places briefly if it will help you 
decide.
Shall we look at Hell first?"

"Sure!" says Bill.  "Let's go!"

Bill is amazed! He sees a clean, white sandy beach with clear waters. There 
are
thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing 
and
frolicking about practically naked. The sun is shining and the temperature 
is perfect!

Bill smiles, "This is great!  If this is Hell, I can't wait to see Heaven!"

To which God replies, "Let's go!" and off they go.

Bill sees puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky with angels drifting 
about playing
harps and singing.  It's nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell.  Bill 
thinks for only a
brief moment and renders his decision: "God, I do believe I would like to 
go to Hell."

"As you desire," says God.

Two weeks later, God checks up on the late billionaire to see how things 
are going.
He finds Bill shackled to a wall, screaming among the hot flames in a dark 
cave.
He is being burned and tortured by demons!

"How ya doin', Bill?" God inquires.

Bill responds with anguish and despair. "This is awful!  This is not what I 
expected
at all! What happened to the beach and the beautiful women playing naked in 
the
water?"

"Oh THAT!" says God.  "That was the screen saver!"

  


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  • [xChange] Bill Gates in Heaven Paul Croft