Paul Croft
Wed, 05 Jun 2002 08:07:32 -0700
This list is a FREE list supplied by www.paulsfunhouse.com please help to keep it free by supporting our sponsors. -- YOU MIGHT BE SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME AT YOUR LOCAL BAR IF:
Just like Norm on the T.V. show Cheers, when you walk in everyone yells your name. They have a drink named after you. You have been customer of the week more than twice in the same month. The bartenders are now the grown children of the bartenders that were there when you first started going there. When the phone rings and you yell, "If it's for me I'm not here" doesn't work anymore. When you're 20 minutes late for "Happy Hour" and the bartender says, "Where have you been, we were worried that you might have been in an accident, you should have called." The bathroom at the bar is more familiar to you than your bathroom at home. Your car leaves a bigger oil leak spot in your usual parking spot at the bar than in your driveway at home. You have Direct Deposit for your paycheck, but instead of being deposited in YOUR account it is deposited into the account of the bar to cover your tab. Their pool table has become very comfortable to sleep on. They have your home phone number on speed dial to call your wife to come get you when you pass out on the pool table. They wont let you be in the dart league anymore because you've almost put someone's eye out more than once. You've never been arrested for DUI because why drive when you live across the street from the bar. It's a vicious cycle. Drive to work in the morning, drive to the bar after work, walk home from the bar, walk to the bar in the morning to drive to work, drive to the bar after work.....etc. (at least you're not drinking and driving) You've won their annual belching contest for 11 years straight. You've watched every Super Bowl and World Series games there since 1969 and can't remember who won what. You didn't show up for 5 days in a row and they filed a missing persons report. You had finally decided to take your wife on a much deserved cruise for putting up with you all these years and on the ship you drove some bartender named Issac crazy enough to jump overboard. (a.k.a. The Loveboat) Your favorite barstool has been reupholstered 5 times. They hire a new bartender and you end up having to show him how to make a descent Bloody Mary. One night you don't feel good, call the bar and tell them not to expect you. You pick up this funny looking thing on the coffee table of your living room and ask your wife what it is. She says it's a television remote so you can change T.V channels right form your chair. They've been around for about 15 to 20 years now. You then say what's that next to the T.V. That too,... she says thats a VCR, shakes her head, rolls her eyes and goes to bed. You go to your son's High School Graduation and when they are passing out diplomas you lean over to your wife and whisper, "Be sure to point out which boy is ours. I can't remember what he looks like." You've been rejected as an organ donar. If your idol is comedian Foster Brooks And last but not least... The owner of the bar thinks of you as family. *******SPONSOR'S MESSAGE******* Win FREE Toilet Paper in the most unique sweepstakes on the net: <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/25.html ">Click</a> -- To unsubscribe from this list please visit: http://unsubscribe.paulsfunhouse.com Joke-xchange mailing list [EMAIL PROTECTED]