[xChange] Do you want this job???

[Jack And Seetbriar]

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Position Needed: MOM JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term team players needed for
challenging permanent work in a chaotic environment. Candidates must
possess excellent organizational skills and be willing to work variable
hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour
shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments
in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. RESPONSIBILITIES: For
the rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5 to go skating. Must be willing to bite tongue
repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be
able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time,
the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be
willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget
repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone
calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework
projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for
clients of all ages and mental outlooks.  Must be willing to be
dispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly
and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and
battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared
for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality
of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility. POSSIBILITY FOR PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so
that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you. PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually
exhausting basis. WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them, offering frequent
raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of
the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this
reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could
only do more. BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are
offered, the job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and
free hugs for life
if you play your cards right.









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