this is, by FAR, the funniest post of the year!! I am going to carry bony and rabbit fur everywhere I go!!
I swear, this is getting printed and going on the wall or something... darw_n "create, demonstrate, toneshift..." search for "djdarwin" on napster www.sphereproductions.com www.mannequinodd.com www.mp3.com/darw_n ----- Original Message ----- From: "Tosh Cooey" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[email protected]> Sent: Tuesday, January 23, 2001 7:34 AM Subject: [313] Haha, you are so lame!! (was future of DJ'ing) > I can't believe the things I read on this list. This list, which uses > the works of Alvin Toffler in vain and frequently evokes the imagry of > Blade Runner and music created in a present future dystopia, and then I > read crap like this: > > "Sounds horrible, going through the box is part of the artform. It would > make it too calculated, you can't flick through your box, land on > something > else and think hmmm, now maybe I can play that instead." > > "The smell of brand new vinyl out of the sleeve, the > crackle of the record under the needle... there's > something spiritual and special about vinyl that no > other media can replicate." > > "Pushing buttons has nothing to do with dj'ing as far as I am concerned. > Imagine the joy of finally finding that record you've been > after for several years, and then compare it to downloading that track" > > "Seeing a set being pieced together with records and > the DJ making the set come together is part of the > thrill and artform." > > "Do you really want to watch some dude just press a few > buttons on a computer, a pre-planned set, there could be no spontaneity, > by default. It would be as boring as hell. Any fool could use the new > system as it would be a relative cinch." > > "I can't see too many house DJs adopting the new thing" > > "Like aren't some of the hip-hop turntablists establishing a way of > notating scratches?" > > > I also sometimes wonder about about the reading ability of people on > this list. I seem to recall saying "the only aspect of DJ'ing that it > changes is the carrying of vinyl and selecting of tracks to play." Do > you people have that much difficulty with English? Is the Aussie > dialect really that difficult that it doesn't penetrate the quoted > sentence? I will break down the sentence: > > *the only aspect of DJ'ing that it changes* - this implies there is only > one aspect, but there are actually two, now I see why you are all > confused. > *is the carrying of vinyl* - this is aspect one, the DJ doesn't have to > carry around as much vinyl anymore. How much less is up to the > individual. > *and selecting of tracks to play* - this is the other aspect, the DJ no > longer has to flip through a box of records. > > PAY ATTENTION!!!!! THE PERFORMER STILL MUST BUILD A SET, MUST STILL > PLACE THE NEEDLE ON A RECORD ON A TECHNICS 1200, MUST STILL MATCH BEATS, > MUST STILL CREATE A MOMENTARY EVENT, MUST STILL LOOK FOR HO'S, MUST > STILL TRY NOT TO KNOCK THE NEEDLE WHEN BLOWING COKE, MUST STILL DECIDE > IF RECORD 'B' IS SUITABLE TO PLAY AFTER RECORD 'A', ETC ETC > ET-FU**ING-CETERA..... > > So with that out of the way and because I am bored and incredulous I > will respond to each of these in order. > > "Sounds horrible, going through the box is part of the artform. It would > make it too calculated, you can't flick through your box, land on > something > else and think hmmm, now maybe I can play that instead." > > --> How the hell is looking through a box for something you can't find > and maybe left at home part of any artform?!? And is this any different > than the DJ looking through the porn folder on their computer and > finding some track and thinking "oh yeah that's where I downloaded that > stupid thing, my mouse must have slipped while I was typing with one > hand, lemme play this now because I am so spontaneous and > un-calculated." > > "The smell of brand new vinyl out of the sleeve, the > crackle of the record under the needle... there's > something spiritual and special about vinyl that no > other media can replicate." > > --> Oh my God....If this is so important to you and there is a big > enough market then I'm sure each unit will come with an ebony rod and a > piece of rabbit fur so you can make all the static electricy you can > manage, or just buy a nitrous balloon (empty it how you like, I don't > care) reinflate the balloon, rub it on your head and then touch the > leads on your equuipment, you'll get all the crackles your heart > desires. Similarly if you really want crackles I'm sure someone will > build you Kai's PowerCrackles for SoundForge. > > "Pushing buttons has nothing to do with dj'ing as far as I am concerned. > Imagine the joy of finally finding that record you've been > after for several years, and then compare it to downloading that track" > > --> Imagine the joys of actually learning how to play the bass, and then > play the piano, and then play the drums, and then putting it all > together to make a song, not just press the "Drums" button and having > instant rhythm. AND ANYWAY WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT PUSHING > BUTTONS?!?!?! This is not some button pushing technology, like all > positive technologies it's a liberating technology, it liberates people > from carrying lots of weight and protects them from possible paper cuts > on sharp sleeves. > > "Seeing a set being pieced together with records and > the DJ making the set come together is part of the > thrill and artform." > > --> I agree, but I don't recall saying that Final Scratch connects to > the Internet, downloads Paul Oakenfold set 01-01-01 and proceeds to play > it allowing the DJ to wander off to the VIP room and get some oral sex > treatment. > > "Do you really want to watch some dude just press a few > buttons on a computer, a pre-planned set, there could be no spontaneity, > by default. It would be as boring as hell. Any fool could use the new > system as it would be a relative cinch." > > --> See above. Also, how many times have you heard the same set from a > DJ a year or so later. Just because an option for a pre-planned set > doesn't exist currently doesn't mean that many DJ's don't already have > their "set" and are just on automatic pilot. As for "any fool..." I > can't believe you are actually > stupid enough to really believe that, especially not on this list, a > list about music made with machines that I *KNOW* the exact same thing > has been said about, "any damn fool can turn on a machine and make > sound, but that's not music, music is made by a bunch of sweaty guys in > a garage annoying the neighbours by wailing away on plastik/steel/wooden > implements." Think before you squeek. > > "I can't see too many house DJs adopting the new thing" > > --> The modern DJ is a product of evolution, the future DJ will also > be. As for house DJ's, the main propent of this system is Acquaviva, > last I checked he was pretty "house" maybe he's changed in the last > three weeks. > > "Like aren't some of the hip-hop turntablists establishing a way of > notating scratches?" > > --> Oh yeah did I mention the name, Final Scratch, it hasn't been fully > professionlly turntablist tested yet, but it scratches exactly like you > would expect. > > Ok there's one thing people may not realize; this music is mostly > digital, so the natural and obvious evolution of this music is to a > system of digital distribution, and in order for this to be effective > there needs to be a platform creating demand for music in digital form, > preferably one that maintains all the positive aspects of the current > paradigm, and addresses the shortcomings as well. Like I said, this > system removes the weight of vinyl (which sucks) and removes the need > for searching through a box, which I assign a neutral value as it's > neither a positive or negative aspect. > > One of the biggest things that digital distribution will address is > artificial scarcity. Physical music is limited by it's ability to be > replicated and distributed. I hear some of you whining about "now > everyone will have my limited edition SesameStreet BootieHouse Mix by > Pink Floyd" yeah so what? If you actually have to base your sense of > self-worth on how many fu**ing obscure records you have then you have my > sympathy and I will do all I can to prevent you from losing more of your > self-esteem. > > Good GOD, if you people can't deal with technological and social change > now I'd hate to see you when you're 50+. > > Tosh > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] >
