> THE EURO ENGLISH
>
> The European Commission has just announced an
> agreement whereby English will be
> the official language of the European Union rather
> than German, which was the
> other possibility.
> As part of the negotiations, the British Government
> conceded that English
> spelling had some room for improvement and has
> accepted a 5- year phase-in plan
> that would become known as "Euro-English".
> In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
> Sertainly, this will make the
> sivil servants jump with joy.
> The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This
> should klear up konfusion,
> and keyboards kan have one less letter
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
> sekond year when the
> troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This!
> will make words
> like fotograf 20% shorter.
> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new
> spelling kan be
> expekted
> to reach the stage where more komplikated changes
> are possible.
> Governments will enkourage the removal of double
> letters which have
> always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al
> wil agre that the horibl
> mes of the silent "e" in the
> languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
> By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such
> as replasing "th"
> with "z" and "w" with "v".
>
> During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
> from vords
> kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a
> reil sensibl riten styl.
> Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun
> vil find it ezi tu
> understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
> finali kum tru.
> Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
> like zey vunted in ze
> forst plas.
> If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
>
>
>
>
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