|
-------Original Message-------
Date: 05/24/06
08:04:33
Subject: Husband Banned
from Shopping
Subject: Husband Banned from Shopping
Letter:
Mrs. Fenton, our store is considering banning your family from
ever
shopping with us unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a
list
of offenses over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras.
MEMO Re:
Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints -
15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while
his spouse/partner is
shopping:
1. June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
them in people's carts when
they weren't looking.
2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7:
Made a trail of tomato juice on the
floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. July 19:
Walked up to an
employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in
housewares ...
and watched what happened.
5. August 4:
Went to the Service
Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. September
14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7.
September 15:
Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd
invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
department.
8. September 23:
When a clerk asks if they can
help him, he begins to cry and asks Why
can't you people just leave me
alone?'
9. October 4:
Looked right into the security camera;
used it as a mirror, and picked
his nose.
10. November 10:
While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if
he
knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3:
Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
"Mission
Impossible" theme.
12. December 6:
In the auto
department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different
size funnels.
13. December 18:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
through, yelled PICK ME!"
"PICK ME!"
14. December 21:
When
an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the
fetal
position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices
again!!!!"
15. December 23:
Went into a fitting room, shut the
door and waited a while; then,
yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet
paper in here!"
| 
