THE VALUE OF EXTERNAL FEEDBACK
by TC Cummings
So much within competitive sports can apply to the grander picture of our lives. All we need to do is transfer the lessons learned.
A new client of mine, Mike Buckley, is one of the most skilled hockey goalies in the world. Mike's coach consistently produces top draft picks for the National Hockey League (NHL). Every year since college, Mike has ranked in the upper percentile in skills competitions. With these amazing abilities, why hasn't Mike yet made it into the NHL?
Like so many of us, Mike's challenge was in applying his focus on the right thing at the right time so that he could allow his skills to come out and live successfully.
Working with a personal coach, Mike discovered his strength was also his weakness. According to Rob Day of PuckStoppers, his goaltending coach, Mike has the ability to examine his performance during practice and make corrections and adjustments that are amazingly effective -- possibly the best Rob has seen.
During game time, however, Mike would react to the pressure by constantly examining himself. This inappropriate, self-conscious, self-doubt distracted him from experiencing the moment and allowing him to perform authentically.
We've all heard the saying, "The unexamined life is not worth living." Yet, how do we go about our daily lives, experiencing the full benefit of living in the moment if we are preoccupied with self-conscious examination?
Have you ever found yourself in a sort of whirlwind of self-examination and doubt? How does it feel? People say it can feel disempowering with seemingly no end in sight. We are all susceptible to it. Often we find escape routes to hide from our own examination. Sometimes these escapes are overtly destructive (drugs and alcohol abuse) and other times, we bury ourselves in work, exercise or volunteer aid -- fooling ourselves that this is a healthy place to hide.
What's the solution? How do we experience the moment and enjoy life while still getting the best performance from ourselves? After all, people are depending on us.
Purposeful, objective observations and relevant questions delivered in trust and confidence set us up to win consistently. Scheduling an hour every week with a no-holds-barred friend or committing to an effective personal coach elevates our self-awareness and can increase both our performance and self-acceptance. And this focused time, dedicated to self-examination, removes the need for such introspection during real-life situations where our attention is needed elsewhere. We then allow ourselves to experience life while it happens!
Now we elevate our confidence higher still! Confident that we are free to enjoy the moment because we know there is a time for examination.
Over these past summer months, Mike learned to leave his self-examination off the ice and trust in his skills. Mike played in "high-caliber" leagues in which single-man defenses allowing 15 goals per game is considered acceptable.
Fifteen goals? How about none? On June 28th, 2004, Mike delivered the first-ever shutout in the oldest, most prestigious league in the city. Mike lead his team to the league championship while experiencing more fun and confidence than he's ever had on the ice!
A couple of nights ago, Mike called me from the road. He was passing through Buffalo, N.Y. on his way to his new home with a minor league team where he has been placed by one of the three NHL teams pursuing him!
by TC Cummings
So much within competitive sports can apply to the grander picture of our lives. All we need to do is transfer the lessons learned.
A new client of mine, Mike Buckley, is one of the most skilled hockey goalies in the world. Mike's coach consistently produces top draft picks for the National Hockey League (NHL). Every year since college, Mike has ranked in the upper percentile in skills competitions. With these amazing abilities, why hasn't Mike yet made it into the NHL?
Like so many of us, Mike's challenge was in applying his focus on the right thing at the right time so that he could allow his skills to come out and live successfully.
Working with a personal coach, Mike discovered his strength was also his weakness. According to Rob Day of PuckStoppers, his goaltending coach, Mike has the ability to examine his performance during practice and make corrections and adjustments that are amazingly effective -- possibly the best Rob has seen.
During game time, however, Mike would react to the pressure by constantly examining himself. This inappropriate, self-conscious, self-doubt distracted him from experiencing the moment and allowing him to perform authentically.
We've all heard the saying, "The unexamined life is not worth living." Yet, how do we go about our daily lives, experiencing the full benefit of living in the moment if we are preoccupied with self-conscious examination?
Have you ever found yourself in a sort of whirlwind of self-examination and doubt? How does it feel? People say it can feel disempowering with seemingly no end in sight. We are all susceptible to it. Often we find escape routes to hide from our own examination. Sometimes these escapes are overtly destructive (drugs and alcohol abuse) and other times, we bury ourselves in work, exercise or volunteer aid -- fooling ourselves that this is a healthy place to hide.
What's the solution? How do we experience the moment and enjoy life while still getting the best performance from ourselves? After all, people are depending on us.
Purposeful, objective observations and relevant questions delivered in trust and confidence set us up to win consistently. Scheduling an hour every week with a no-holds-barred friend or committing to an effective personal coach elevates our self-awareness and can increase both our performance and self-acceptance. And this focused time, dedicated to self-examination, removes the need for such introspection during real-life situations where our attention is needed elsewhere. We then allow ourselves to experience life while it happens!
Now we elevate our confidence higher still! Confident that we are free to enjoy the moment because we know there is a time for examination.
Over these past summer months, Mike learned to leave his self-examination off the ice and trust in his skills. Mike played in "high-caliber" leagues in which single-man defenses allowing 15 goals per game is considered acceptable.
Fifteen goals? How about none? On June 28th, 2004, Mike delivered the first-ever shutout in the oldest, most prestigious league in the city. Mike lead his team to the league championship while experiencing more fun and confidence than he's ever had on the ice!
A couple of nights ago, Mike called me from the road. He was passing through Buffalo, N.Y. on his way to his new home with a minor league team where he has been placed by one of the three NHL teams pursuing him!
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