Subject: FW: YAYA...you're such a
loser ... HILARIOUS!!!
1. Yaya buys food at
McDo.
Crew: "Dito niyo na po ba
kakainin?"
Yaya: "Puwede sa table?"
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2. Kid: "Yaya look, boats!"
Yaya: "Dows are not boats,
dey're yachts."
Kid: "Yaya, spell
yachts?"
Yaya: "Yor rayt, dey are
boats."
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3. Woman carrying sick baby enters
doctor's office.
Doc: "Bottlefed?"
Woman: "
Brea - stfed po."
(Doctors squeezes woman's breasts
repeatedly)
Doc: "Ayan ang problema, wala
kang gatas, eh."
Woman: "Yaya lang po ako doc!
Yaya!"
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4. The eggs that yaya bought turned out
to be rotten.
She stormed back to the grocery
and told the vendor:
"Manong, ang baho ng itlog
niyo!"
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5. My mom asked our yaya to buy Inquirer
and Star.
Our yaya came back and said:
"Ma'am, wala pong Inquirer
kaya bumili nalang po ako ng
dalawang Star!"
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6. Yaya: "Huhuhu?"
Ate: "O, bakit ka
umiiyak?"
Yaya: "Kasi ate ang dami kong
pimples!"
Ate: "Eh bakit ka ba
tinitighiyawat?"
Yaya: "Kasi po di ako
makatulog sa gabi."
Ate: "O, bakit ka di
makatulog?"
Yaya: "Kasi po may
pinoproblema ako?"
Ate: "Ano naman ang
pinoproblema mo?"
Yaya: "Kasi ate ang dami kong
pimples!"
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7. (Earlier) Mom: "Yaya, lagay mo
yung pesto sa ref!"
(Later) Son: "Yaya, nakita mo
PS2 ko?"
Yaya: "Nasa ref, pinalagay ng
mama mo!"
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8. Just now my maid burned a hole in my
uniform.
I angrily asked her, "Paano
mo naman nasunog to?"
She answered: "Secret!"
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9. After watching a movie, our yaya
blurted out :
"Ang pangit naman, happy
ending!"
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10. Sir: "Yaya, gawa mo ko ng kape.
Yung decaf ha!"
Yaya: "Siyempre naman,
alangan namang de-baso!"
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11. Mom: "Yaya, magluto ka na pag-alis
ko ha!"
Yaya: "Ano po lulutuin
ko?"
Mom: "It's up to you."
(During dinner) Mom: "Yaya,
bakit ketsup at tuyo ang ulam?"
Yaya: "Diba nung tinanong ko
kayo kung anong lulutuin ko,
sabi niyo, 'kitsup tuyo'!"
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12. Our neighbor's yaya: "Junjun,
chew your mouth!"
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13. Our yaya sa sari-sari store:
"Miss isang Coke in can
at isang Sprite na Coke in
can?"
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14. SIR: "Inday, si sir mo to,
nabangga kotse ko & I need cash!"
INDAY: "Aru, dugo-dugo gang
ka no?"
SIR: "Gaga! Si sir mo talaga
to!"
INDAY: "Gago ka rin! Si sir
ang tawag sa kin?kapkeyk?"
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15. I once asked my yaya where the
Netherlands
is located.
She answered: "Diba dun
nakatira si Peter Pan?"
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16. "O yaya, bakit ka
umiiyak?"
Yaya: "Ati, sabi kasi ng
duktor, tatanggalan ako ng butlig!"
Ate: "Eh yun lang pala eh!
Bakit ka umiiyak?"
Yaya: "Buti kung one lig
lang, eh kung butlig, wala na kong ligs!"
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17. We saw our yaya staring intently at
the orange juice bottle.
Sabi namin: "Yaya, anong
ginagawa mo?"
Yaya: "Shhh! Nakalagay sa
bote, 'concentrate'?"
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18. Neighbor's yaya telling the dog to
climb down the stairs:
"Down to earth! Down to earth!"
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19. My mom was going to buy our yaya a
transistor radio.
Before my mom left the house, our
yaya said,
"Ma'am, ang kunin niyo yung
Ilokano ang salita ha!"
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20. We paid for the tuition fee of our
yaya's son.
So one day I was reviewing him:
"The Earth is the 3rd planet from
the sun.
Ano ang katabi ng Mercury?"
His mom, our yaya, answered:
"Parang Watson's yata?"
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21. Sir: "Yaya, natanggal mo yung
mantsa sa barong ko?"
Yaya: "Opo! Tanggal na
tanggal!"
Sir: "Good! Anong
pinang-tanggal mo?"
Yaya: "Gunting, kuya!
Gunting!"
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22. Yaya to tricycle driver:
"Magkano sa City Hall?"
Driver: "Ikaw lang?"
Yaya: "Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?"
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23. (Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya)
Kuya: "Yaya?"
Yaya: "Koya, wag po! Wag
Pooooo!"
Kuya: "Gaga! Uutusan lang
kita!"
Yaya: "Si Koya
naman?nagsa-suggest lang?"
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24. Kid: "Yaya, spell orange?"
Yaya: "Depende. Yung kulay o
yung prutas?"
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25. Midget Yaya who was newly hired:
"Suwerte po kayo, ako ang
napili niyo.
At least kung maibagsak ko si
baby, mababa lang!"
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26. Yaya to my brother: "Nag
tothbrush ka na ng ipin?"
Bro: "Siyempre, alangan
namang mag toothbrush ako ng kilikili!"
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27. (after being scolded for breaking
her promises):
"Ma'am, hindi na po ako
mangangako ulit?promise!"
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28. We had a yaya who claimed she was
being courted by a kapre
in her province and wanted to take
her to his kingdom.
Her reason for turning down the
offer to be his queen?
"Kapre yun ma'am, malaki ang
kwan nun! Wag na uy!"
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29. AMO: "Bakit namatay ang
aso?"
MAID: "Pinaliguan ko po ng
laundry soap."
AMO: "Nakamamatay ba
yun?"
MAID: "Ewan ko nga po eh,
pag-off ko ng washing machine patay na."
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30. Yaya picking up the phone saying:
" Hilo
?"
We noticed that she was holding
the handset ng baligtad.
We told her, "Yaya,
baliktad!"
Then Yaya said: "Lohi?"
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31. Amo: Yaya use COOLING PLACE in a
sentence.
Yaya: Sir! viry easy! iksample
nagring yung phone,
(ring, ring, ring,) Yaya answered,
" HILO ,
WHO'S COOLING PLACE?"
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