Reviewer: Sarah Banks
Review result: Ready
Hi,
Thanks for a well written, technical draft. I have no comments that stop
publication, however, I do have a couple of editorial comments to make,
focused mostly at the top of the document. Also, thanks for a doc clean of
nits, much appreciated!
- While I find the language overall to be very approachable, in the 1.
Introduction section, you wrote "till" - please consider replacing with
"until". - Also in the Introduction section, you wrote "performances may fall
behind..." - it wasn't clear which multiples of performances you were referring
to - be specific, or consider revising "performances" to "performance". - I
found the draft assumes serious familiarity of the reader on the subject. For
example, in Section 2.2, first para, "Past experience with fragmentation" - I
found myself wondering "whose past experience"? You might consider tightening
up the language here to be clear. I'll also add that including a decent list of
follow up docs was greatly appreciated, thanks! That will be helpful to a
broader audience.
Thanks,
Sarah
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