Dear Éric Vyncke. Thanks for your valuable comments and sorry for the late response.
To resolve your comments, I updated the draft as an attached file. Because there are lots of comments, I used an excel file to resolve comments. And, I submitted the revision draft based on your comments. https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-6lo-use-cases-15.html It is appreciated to check again and let me know any missing points. Best regards. Yong-Geun. 2022년 12월 12일 (월) 오후 4:25, Éric Vyncke via Datatracker <[email protected]>님이 작성: > Éric Vyncke has entered the following ballot position for > draft-ietf-6lo-use-cases-14: No Objection > > When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all > email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this > introductory paragraph, however.) > > > Please refer to > https://www.ietf.org/about/groups/iesg/statements/handling-ballot-positions/ > for more information about how to handle DISCUSS and COMMENT positions. > > > The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here: > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-6lo-use-cases/ > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > COMMENT: > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > # Éric Vyncke, INT AD, comments for draft-ietf-6lo-use-cases-14 > CC @evyncke > > Thank you for the work put into this document. > > Please find below some non-blocking COMMENT points, and some nits. > > Special thanks to Shwetha Bhandari for the shepherd's detailed write-up > including the WG consensus *but* the justification of the intended status > is > missing. > > Other thanks to Carlos Bernardos, the Internet directorate reviewer (at my > request), please consider this int-dir review: > > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/review-ietf-6lo-use-cases-14-intdir-telechat-bernardos-2022-11-17/ > and I have seen Yong-Geun's reply. > > I hope that this review helps to improve the document, > > Regards, > > -éric > ## COMMENTS > > ### Abstract > > The mix of acronyms (e.g., "MS/TP") and standards (e.g., IEEE or ITU) or > expanded names (e.g., "Bluetooth Low Energy") in the abstract is a little > weird. Suggest to expand the acronyms. > > ### Section 2.5 > > `safe two-way interactions` what is meant by "safe" in this context ? > Should > "secure" be used ? > > Also puzzling is "two-way" as it is not mentioned in other sub-sections. > What > makes NFC unique here ? Is it more because it is only a 2 party link ? > > ### Section 2.6 > > `This standard addresses the requirements with high data rates such as > Internet, HDTV, audio, gaming.` s/Internet/Internet access/ ? > > What does "OFDM" mean ? > > ### Section 2.7 > > "BLE" was not expanded before > > The "Usage" row is very specific and not explained, e.g., I wonder whether > NFC > is only used in health care. > > ### Section 3 > > Should there be a reference about "multicast being harmful" ? > > Please expand/explain "ESC". > > ### Section 4 > > Should the section title better reflects the actual content ? E.g., > "6LowPAN > Usages" > > The difference between sections 4 and 5 is also unclear, or is the latter > an > explanation of section 2.7 ? If so, the flow looks weird (suggest to move > section 2.7 inn section 5). > > ### Section 4.1 > > This section has a marketing twist that is unusual in IETF drafts. > > ### Section 4.3 > > Should there be a mention of the work done in the SNAC WG ? > > ## NITS > > ### Section 2.6 > > "AMI' acronym is defined at least 3 times in the document. Suggest to > expand it > only once > > ### Section 5.6 > > A lot of acronyms are defined and either never used or used only once. > Please > consider not defining those acronyms and use the full text. > > ## Notes > > This review is in the ["IETF Comments" Markdown format][ICMF], You can use > the > [`ietf-comments` tool][ICT] to automatically convert this review into > individual GitHub issues. > > [ICMF]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments/blob/main/format.md > [ICT]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments > > > >
7.comment_resolution(Éric Vyncke).xlsx
Description: MS-Excel 2007 spreadsheet
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