I finally got around to making the changes based on the WG last call comments.
Below, please find the changes based on an email from Christian.
-gabriel
### Daniels nits ###
I believe it is ready to the IESG. Good job Nandu and Gab...:-)
Minor nits: both LoWPAN and 6LoWPAN seem a bit confused
around the document. If available, defining terminology would
be favorable.
Daniel (Soohong Daniel Park)
Mobile Convergence Laboratory, SAMSUNG Electronics.
### End of Daniels nits ###
gab> I clarified the usage for 6lowpan the first time it was used as
follows:
The following sections take into account these characteristics
in describing the assumptions, problems statement and
goals for LoWPANs, and, in particular, for 6LoWPANs (IPv6-based
LoWPAN networks).
I also went through the document to make sure it was consistent in its
usage.
### My nits ###
Sorry for the late feedback.
As Daniel said, good job Nandu and Gab.
However, I have the following nitpicks:
Section: 2. Overview
Possibly missing a linespace between bullet 9. and 10.
gab> Ok.
Section: 4.2. Topologies
Last sentence in this section:
"This, or course..."
should probably be
"This, of course"
gab> Ok.
Section: 4.4. Limited configuration and management
Last sentence in this section:
"...yet be powerful to control dense..."
I suggest maybe to add "enough" between "powerful" and "to".
gab> ok.
Section: 4.6. Security
Last sentence in this section:
"Please refer to security consideration section below for an in depth
requirements for security"
I suggest change to:
"Please refer to the security considerations section below
for in depth security requirements."
gab> ok.
Section: 5. Goals (Page 7-8):
I think the reader would gain a better understanding of the goals for
6lowpan if we start each goal with a clear definition (one-sentence) of
the goal, then followed by the related background information. The goals
appear more or less hidden in the text in its current form. This is
especially true for goal nr. 2, which is mostly background information
until at the end it is stated "this goal needs to investigate using
existing header compression... ".
gab> Good suggestion, added topic headers.
I also think the usage of word goal in goals 2 and 3 are confusing.
Examples:
"...this goal needs to investigate..." (Goal nr. 2)
"The goal should specify a method..." (Goal nr. 3)
It is we (the working group) not the goal , which needs to investigate
and to specify. Correct me, if I'm reading it wrong.
gab> Yes, clumsy wording, I revised it, thanks.
Overall I think the document is good, and I believe if you incorporate
my nits on the goals section, then it is IESG ready.
Again, excellent work. :-)
gab> Thanks for your generous comments. As you point out the wording
needed some work, so I gave it another editorial pass to try
to improve it. Hope it helps.
Regards
Christian
### End of my nits ###
Below, please find the changes based on an email from Christian.
-gabriel
### Daniels nits ###
I believe it is ready to the IESG. Good job Nandu and Gab...:-)
Minor nits: both LoWPAN and 6LoWPAN seem a bit confused
around the document. If available, defining terminology would
be favorable.
Daniel (Soohong Daniel Park)
Mobile Convergence Laboratory, SAMSUNG Electronics.
### End of Daniels nits ###
gab> I clarified the usage for 6lowpan the first time it was used as
follows:
The following sections take into account these characteristics
in describing the assumptions, problems statement and
goals for LoWPANs, and, in particular, for 6LoWPANs (IPv6-based
LoWPAN networks).
I also went through the document to make sure it was consistent in its
usage.
### My nits ###
Sorry for the late feedback.
As Daniel said, good job Nandu and Gab.
However, I have the following nitpicks:
Section: 2. Overview
Possibly missing a linespace between bullet 9. and 10.
gab> Ok.
Section: 4.2. Topologies
Last sentence in this section:
"This, or course..."
should probably be
"This, of course"
gab> Ok.
Section: 4.4. Limited configuration and management
Last sentence in this section:
"...yet be powerful to control dense..."
I suggest maybe to add "enough" between "powerful" and "to".
gab> ok.
Section: 4.6. Security
Last sentence in this section:
"Please refer to security consideration section below for an in depth
requirements for security"
I suggest change to:
"Please refer to the security considerations section below
for in depth security requirements."
gab> ok.
Section: 5. Goals (Page 7-8):
I think the reader would gain a better understanding of the goals for
6lowpan if we start each goal with a clear definition (one-sentence) of
the goal, then followed by the related background information. The goals
appear more or less hidden in the text in its current form. This is
especially true for goal nr. 2, which is mostly background information
until at the end it is stated "this goal needs to investigate using
existing header compression... ".
gab> Good suggestion, added topic headers.
I also think the usage of word goal in goals 2 and 3 are confusing.
Examples:
"...this goal needs to investigate..." (Goal nr. 2)
"The goal should specify a method..." (Goal nr. 3)
It is we (the working group) not the goal , which needs to investigate
and to specify. Correct me, if I'm reading it wrong.
gab> Yes, clumsy wording, I revised it, thanks.
Overall I think the document is good, and I believe if you incorporate
my nits on the goals section, then it is IESG ready.
Again, excellent work. :-)
gab> Thanks for your generous comments. As you point out the wording
needed some work, so I gave it another editorial pass to try
to improve it. Hope it helps.
Regards
Christian
### End of my nits ###
----- Original Message ----
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2006 12:50:02 PM
Subject: [6lowpan] I-D ACTION:draft-ietf-6lowpan-problem-03.txt
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2006 12:50:02 PM
Subject: [6lowpan] I-D ACTION:draft-ietf-6lowpan-problem-03.txt
A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts directories.
This draft is a work item of the IPv6 over Low power WPAN Working Group of the IETF.
Title : 6LoWPAN: Overview, Assumptions, Problem Statement and Goals
Author(s) : N. Kushalnagar, G. Montenegro
Filename : draft-ietf-6lowpan-problem-03.txt
Pages : 14
Date : 2006-6-23
This document describes the assumptions, problem statement and goals
for transmitting IP over IEEE 802.15.4 networks. The set of goals
enumerated in this document form an initial set only. Additional
goals may be found necessary over time and may be added to this
document.
A URL for this Internet-Draft is:
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-6lowpan-problem-03.txt
To remove yourself from the I-D Announcement list, send a message to
[EMAIL PROTECTED] with the word unsubscribe in the body of the message.
You can also visit https://www1.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/I-D-announce
to change your subscription settings.
Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP. Login with the username
"anonymous" and a password of your e-mail address. After logging in,
type "cd internet-drafts" and then
"get draft-ietf-6lowpan-problem-03.txt".
A list of Internet-Drafts directories can be found in
http://www.ietf.org/shadow.html
or ftp://ftp.ietf.org/ietf/1shadow-sites.txt
Internet-Drafts can also be obtained by e-mail.
Send a message to:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
In the body type:
"FILE /internet-drafts/draft-ietf-6lowpan-problem-03.txt".
NOTE: The mail server at ietf.org can return the document in
MIME-encoded form by using the "mpack" utility. To use this
feature, insert the command "ENCODING mime" before the "FILE"
command. To decode the response(s), you will need "munpack" or
a MIME-compliant mail reader. Different MIME-compliant mail readers
exhibit different behavior, especially when dealing with
"multipart" MIME messages (i.e. documents which have been split
up into multiple messages), so check your local documentation on
how to manipulate these messages.
Below is the data which will enable a MIME compliant mail reader
implementation to automatically retrieve the ASCII version of the
Internet-Draft.
This draft is a work item of the IPv6 over Low power WPAN Working Group of the IETF.
Title : 6LoWPAN: Overview, Assumptions, Problem Statement and Goals
Author(s) : N. Kushalnagar, G. Montenegro
Filename : draft-ietf-6lowpan-problem-03.txt
Pages : 14
Date : 2006-6-23
This document describes the assumptions, problem statement and goals
for transmitting IP over IEEE 802.15.4 networks. The set of goals
enumerated in this document form an initial set only. Additional
goals may be found necessary over time and may be added to this
document.
A URL for this Internet-Draft is:
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-6lowpan-problem-03.txt
To remove yourself from the I-D Announcement list, send a message to
[EMAIL PROTECTED] with the word unsubscribe in the body of the message.
You can also visit https://www1.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/I-D-announce
to change your subscription settings.
Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP. Login with the username
"anonymous" and a password of your e-mail address. After logging in,
type "cd internet-drafts" and then
"get draft-ietf-6lowpan-problem-03.txt".
A list of Internet-Drafts directories can be found in
http://www.ietf.org/shadow.html
or ftp://ftp.ietf.org/ietf/1shadow-sites.txt
Internet-Drafts can also be obtained by e-mail.
Send a message to:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
In the body type:
"FILE /internet-drafts/draft-ietf-6lowpan-problem-03.txt".
NOTE: The mail server at ietf.org can return the document in
MIME-encoded form by using the "mpack" utility. To use this
feature, insert the command "ENCODING mime" before the "FILE"
command. To decode the response(s), you will need "munpack" or
a MIME-compliant mail reader. Different MIME-compliant mail readers
exhibit different behavior, especially when dealing with
"multipart" MIME messages (i.e. documents which have been split
up into multiple messages), so check your local documentation on
how to manipulate these messages.
Below is the data which will enable a MIME compliant mail reader
implementation to automatically retrieve the ASCII version of the
Internet-Draft.
_______________________________________________
6lowpan mailing list
[email protected]
https://www1.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/6lowpan
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https://www1.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/6lowpan
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