Thank you for this review!

Pascal Thubert (pthubert) <[email protected]> wrote:
    > Page2 Introduction: there?s an EDNOTE: field. It could be useful but
    > not necessary to make the proposed addition. Is the author willing to?
    > Or should a coauthor help?

} EDNOTE: Explain why broadcasts are rare, and why we need them. What the
} Enhanced Beacon is, and what Information Elements are, and how the IETF has a
} subtype for that area.  Explain what kind of things could be placed in
} Information Elements, how big they could be, and how they could be
} compressed.

If the WG feels that this section needs to be filled in then I will work with
Diego to fill it in.    Clearly less text is easier to review, but I think
that non-6tisch reviewers will need some understanding of why we do what
might be considered layer violations to pack all this L3 and routing
information into a L2 object.

I would prefer to write text like:
       "[XYZ] explains how the availability of the broadcast is limited.
       [ABC] details how the Enhanced Beacon is already used to do schedule 
synchronization"

I would dearly like help from the WG on this text. Now that the architecture
is more stable, perhaps they are just normative architecture document 
references?


    > Suggestion to also refer to https://tools.ietf.org/html/
    > draft-ietf-6tisch-architecture for terminology

Done.

    > ?

    >    At layer 3, [RFC2461] defines a mechanism by

    > ?

    > Please use RFC 4861

done.



    > Section 1.3
    > There?s a XXX leftover. What is the intention?

No idea, removed.


    >    proxy priority the proxy prority value contains a number from 0 to
    >       0x7f.  Lower numbers are considered to be a higher preference.  A
    >       priority of 0x7f indicates that the announcer should never be
    >       considered as a viable enrollment proxy.  Lower value indicates
    >       willing to act as a Join Proxy as described in
    >       [I-D.ietf-6tisch-minimal-security].  Only unenrolled pledges look
    >       at this value.


    > ?

    > Maybe indicate first that the field indicates the willingness to act as
    > join proxy? Also, a typo (prority).

Fixed.

    > P and R bits definition; though it is quite obvious, the description
    > does not say that ?R? is the RA bit and that ?P? is the Proxy Address
    > bit. Maybe use the term flag, like in? the ?P? flag?.

Okay.

    >    join-proxy lower-64 if the P bit is set, then 64 bits (8 bytes) of
    >       address are present.  The Link Layer address of the Join Proxy is
    >       fe80 (as for any Link Layer address), and the bits given in this
    >       field.

    > ?

    > I think you mean Link-Local not link layer? What about:

Thank you, good catch.


    >    join-proxy Interface ID if the P bit is set, then 64 bits (8 bytes)
    > of
    >    address are present. This field provides the suffix of the
    > Link_Local
    >    address of the Join Proxy. The associated prefix is well-known as
    >    fe80::/64.
    > ?


    >    In a 6tisch network, where RPL is u

    > ?
    > Missing reference to RFC 6550

added.


    > ?
    > 2.1.  Protocol Example
    >    Here will be three examples of processing.
    > ?
    > Do you intend to fill that section?

At this point, I have no example packets, so I will remove that section.
I have posted -02 with these changes.
What lacks now is only a decision on how much text to put in the intro to
explain broadcasts.

--
Michael Richardson <[email protected]>, Sandelman Software Works
 -= IPv6 IoT consulting =-

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