Shell access with no root/privileges is like a strip club that abide the laws. You get really excited and keep trying but eventually you just go home frustrated.
Before I installed Nagios and left it running indefinitely, I put in a support ticket to Dreamhost asking (telling?) them what I wanted to do. Of course, they put the kabosh on it.
I called Jeff and Randall, and got a few good other options. Jeff pointed me towards two decent virtual private server (VPS) places: UnixShell.com (cheap, but unfortunately full at the moment) and Tektronic.net (a bit more expensive).
