I thought this would be useful to all those singles.

>>At long last we now have a "guide" for all those computer novices and
>>initiates (not unlike myself) - to safely guide you through the
>>'wild, wonderful and wacky world' of computer dating -
>>
>>
>>WOMEN'S ADS:
>>
>>40-ish................................................49
>>Adventurer.......................................Slept with all your
>>      friends
>>Athletic.............................................No boobs
>>Average looking...............................Has a face like a basset
>>      hound
>>Beautiful...........................................Pathological liar
>>Contagious Smile.............................Does a lot of Ecstasy
>>Educated..........................................Slept with her
>>Political Science  professor
>>Emotionally Secure..........................Medicated
>>Feminist............................................Male Basher
>>Free spirit..........................................Junkie
>>Friendship first..................................Trying to live down
>>      bad reputation
>>Fun....................................................Annoying
>>Gentle...............................................Comatose
>>Good Listener...................................Borderline Autistic
>>New Age...........................................All body hair, all
>>      the time
>>Old-fashioned....................................Lights out,
>>      missionary position only
>>Open-minded....................................Desperate
>>Out-going..........................................Loud and
>>Embarrassing
>>Passionate........................................Sloppy drunk
>>Poet..................................................Depressive
>>      Schizophrenic
>>Professional......................................Certified Bitch
>>Redhead...........................................Bad dye job
>>Romantic..........................................Looks better by
>>      candle light
>>Social...............................................Has been passed
>>      around like an hors d'oeuvre' tray
>>Voluptuous........................................Very Fat
>>Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker
>>Widow...............................................Drove first
>>      husband to shoot himself
>>Young at heart...................................Old bat
>>
>>MEN'S ADS:
>>
>>
>>40-ish.....................................................52 and
>>      looking for 25-yr-old cutie
>>      Athletic..................................................Watches a
>>      lot of NASCAR
>>Average looking.....................................Unusual hair
>>      growth on ears, nose, & back
>>Educated................................................Will patronize
>>      the shit out of you
>>Free Spirit..............................................Sleeping with
>>      your sister
>>Friendship first........................................As long as
>>      friendship involves nookie
>>      Fun..........................................................Good 
>>with
>>      a remote and a six pack
>>Good looking...........................................Arrogant
>>Very good looking...................................Dumb as a board
>>      
>>Honest......................................................Pathological
>>      Liar
>>      
>>Huggable..................................................Overweight,
>>      more body hair than a bear
>>Likes to cuddle.........................................Insecure
>>      mama's boy
>>      Mature......................................................Older 
>>than
>>      your father
>>Open-minded............................................Wants to sleep
>>      with your roommate but she's not interested
>>Physically fit..............................................Does a lot
>>      of 12-ounce "can" curls
>>Poet...........................................................Wrote
>>      ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall
>>Sensitive....................................................Cries at
>>      "chick flicks"
>>Very sensitive.............................................Gay
>>Spiritual.....................................................Got laid
>>      in a cemetery once
>>Stable........................................................Arrested
>>      for "stalking", but not convicted
>>Thoughtful..................................................Says
>>      "Excuse me" when he farts
>>
>>
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