Hi this is sona suresh
first of all thanks for sharing your opinion for disclosing or not
disclosing disability. in my opinion unless some one asks for us on
our disability there is no need to disclose our disability. technology
has brought us up to level to work like sighted.  I am running
language coaching class in chennai. all of my students are sighted.
when I talk over phone for my class marketing I never disclose my
disability. when they come to our home they themselves understand my
problem. a very few of them ask about vi problem rest of them never
talk on this topic. they admire us. so  if there is no requirement no
need to disclose disability.
sona suresh

On 4/8/18, Preeti Monga <preeti.mo...@silver-linings.org> wrote:
> well said! Must learn to be honest always! It is OK!
>
>
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> -----Original Message-----
> From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf
> Of Vamshi. G
> Sent: 08 April 2018 16:34
> To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning
> the disabled.
> Subject: Re: [AI] Disclosing or not disclosing the visual impairment
>
> As a fellow person who lost vision in a slow manner, I join others in
> advocating for disclosure of disability.  The only reason which you state
> for not disclosing the disability is not being cheated.
> Actually, many times we don't know whether others know we are disabled or
> not.  We feel others don't know unless we disclose.  But at times, they can
> well make out between a person with perfect sight and the one
> without.   Unless you are comfortable with you own condition, don't
> expect other to become comfortable.  Going by what you are undergoing, I can
> say you are landing yourself in a big mess which will manifest in an
> internal emotional complication and an external threat to your
> relationships.  Others form all sorts of reasons for you avoiding
> social gatherings.   You talk about counseling.  I would say peer
> counseling is the best form of counseling.
>
> I used to drive a motor bike ten years ago and now using a white cane to
> walk on the road.  Let me tell you that I am emotionally more comfortable
> now than I was then though I lost on some important practical activities.
> Back then, I used to stay at the place where I get down from the train to
> the platform.  But now I come out of the station and book a cab to home.
> What is the secret for success?  I tell others that I have a vision problem
> and would require help.  Yes, there would be questions about your
> disability.  Take them with confidence and comfort.  Yes, you might end up
> being cheated once or twice.  But society by and large is good, empathetic
> and kind. The 99 good experiences you would have by disclosing would make
> you ignore the odd experience of embarrassment, at times insult also.  I
> recollect an incident when I was able to walk alone on the roads. A police
> mistook me for walking being drunk looking at the way I was walking.  But
> when I told him that I had the vision problem, he stopped all vehicles  and
> enabled me cross the road with ease.  Feel free to talk to me on this
> subject.  I know its difficult to begin with.  But remember that you will be
> happy at the end.
>
>
> On 4/8/18, Aravind R <aravind.andhrab...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> i will hide my disability only during banking profession while
>> speaking to customers on phone. because, if i declare my disability
>> initially, customer's usual negative expectation on disabled people
>> will make them not believe my knowledge and commitments on their
>> banking service expectations. So, during email and phone
>> conversations, i will try not to show my disability which will create
>> positive image on us whenever they meet us in person in future.
>>
>> On 4/8/18, turab chimthanawala <turab...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>> Hi Alvesh,
>>> Well my experience regarding disclosing or not disclosing my
>>> disability is as under:
>>> As I have partial blindness, in the initial years of my life, I tried
>>> to behave as far as possible like a sighted person, trying to do
>>> things their way, greatly hesitating to ask for reasonable
>>> accomodations and most importantly trying to conceal my disability.
>>> The upshot of this was lack of confidence, loneliness, mental stress
>>> and greater dependence. In the last few years when I have
>>> internalised my disability, life has become much more interesting. It
>>> relieves a lot of mental and physical stress as there is no
>>> unnecessarily compulsion to appear 'normal'. As regards others, the
>>> moment we accept ourselves, it would not take long for others to
>>> accept us. And if people have a problem, better not have them in our
>>> lives. Also, the moment I have decided to accept my disability,
>>> people instead of alienating me, respect and admire me even more for
>>> being able to overcome my disability and take keen interest as to how
>>> I perform routine tasks in my unique way. As regards repeated
>>> questions regarding some sensitive issues, there is always an option
>>> to politely request to pass the question. Moreover, however  hard you
>>> try, ultimately people will become aware of your condition as you are
>>> bound to struggle at some or the other point.
>>> Hence, like others, I also suggest to disclose rather than conceal
>>> your disability. I feel the white stick is an excellent tool to
>>> discretely let people know of our blindness. Hence, you could start
>>> using your stick, if you have not already.
>>> Best
>>> Turab
>>>
>>> On 4/7/18, Umesh <umeshkasa...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> Hi
>>>>
>>>> Though it is not particularly necessary for me to comment on the
>>>> topic As many notable personalities have already provided their
>>>> brilliant suggestions, still I’d love to contribute to the
>>>> discussion to the best of my understanding
>>>>
>>>> Persons with not-so-obvious visibility of disability generally go
>>>> through the dilemma that you are facing(primarily speaking from my
>>>> own experience). Frankly agreeing with you, both options(hiding and
>>>> not-hiding of disability) do have their pros and cons. But we are
>>>> best served only if we are able to make the better suitable course
>>>> of action.
>>>>  We can tackle this situation by employing two simple thumb-rules.
>>>> First is lesser harm thesis which would suggest to choose the lesser
>>>> evil. This reasoning would lead us to the path of not-hiding the
>>>> disability. Second, not going for a rigid pattern. It is to suggest
>>>> that in the case where you feel that you can be cheated if the
>>>> person(s) interacting with your is/are likely to use your
>>>> disability as an exploitable point, you can rightly choose to hide your
>>>> disability.   For example, while travelling alone you can choose this
>>>> path.
>>>>
>>>> To help you decide you can also ponder over the emotional loss that
>>>> this adopted approach of hiding the disability is causing to your
>>>> existence. It is doing damage on various levels. First, it is
>>>> effectively alienating you from your being. Second, it hinders you
>>>> from being the best coppy of yourself. Third, it forces you to live
>>>> a life of perpetual dilemma! The loss may vary according to your
>>>> specifications.
>>>>
>>>> I’ll sign out by recording that hiding or not-hiding should not be a
>>>> deliberate thing in the sense that one tries one’s best to do either
>>>> of the two. If it is natural; then it is not a problem. The problem
>>>> creaps in when one materialises the hiding or otherwise by a special
>>>> effort. Exception to the rule holds that the deliberate hiding is
>>>> allowed only if it saves you from some foreseeable ordeal.
>>>>
>>>> I hope it helps
>>>>
>>>> Wishing you, and many other like you, all the best.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> On 4/7/18, Nagababu Arepalli <nagababu...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> Hi,
>>>>>   please do not look for small benefits. you may need to face
>>>>> bigger problems in future if, you hide your disability.
>>>>> there is nothing rong in disclosing your disability.
>>>>> you will be recognised with your character, atitude and your
>>>>> qualificationsa.
>>>>> and all humanbeeings will have some diffect in there body. so, no
>>>>> need to hide disability.
>>>>> this is my opinion do not take it otherwise.
>>>>>
>>>>> On 4/7/18, Alvesh Shokeen <alveshshok...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>> Some time there are benefits of not disclosing the disability, and
>>>>>> behaving as you were a sighted guy. For example, no one can cheat
>>>>>> us if he is not getting the clue that I am a vision impaired guy,
>>>>>> and people will not ask unnecessary questions!
>>>>>> As I have faced some aukward situations, asking for help people
>>>>>> asked me uncumfirtable questions, like your eyes are looking quite
>>>>>> ok, are you telling lie? How much can you see, can you identify
>>>>>> which colour shirt I am wearing? can you see the girls coming and
>>>>>> going? Therefore I deliberetly avoid to disclose my disability to
>>>>>> avoid these unwelcomed and aukward situations. But I can say, I am
>>>>>> losing more by hiding my disability, as people don't get the clue
>>>>>> what kind of help I require? And people think I am avoiding them
>>>>>> by not greeding them with hi and goodmorning etc. The other
>>>>>> embarrassing situation I face at the time of shaking the hands
>>>>>> meeting someone. As sometime I can not figure out that he has raised
>>>>>> his hand to shake?
>>>>>> And also I am not visually impaired for long, I have a hard time
>>>>>> to distinguish the people by their voice. By the way, guide me for
>>>>>> getting good  counseling material to learn with my disability.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 4/6/18, Sandeep Singh <sandeepsingh...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>> And believe me, friend, George sir is a most respected
>>>>>>> personality applauded by all sections of the society despite his
>>>>>>> blindness. We have lots of people on our list, Ms Kanchan and Ms
>>>>>>> Priti, Mr Pranay and Mr Prashant, and so many veterans and
>>>>>>> youngsters who have a special place in the society and are loved
>>>>>>> and respected by all. You are a capable person, don't hide your
>>>>>>> disability, sensitize people instead. I recently organized a
>>>>>>> program where I asked a young lady doing Engineering to wear a
>>>>>>> blindfold and identify currency notes. I asked people to do
>>>>>>> activities pretending they were disabled of some kind and they
>>>>>>> understood how much we can do despite our physical limitations.
>>>>>>> So, go ahead and enjoy life, don't mind those who don't accept
>>>>>>> you, make merry with those who accept you and love you.
>>>>>>> Best regards
>>>>>>> Sandeep
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> On 4/6/18, George Abraham <geo...@eyeway.org> wrote:
>>>>>>>> I have been through the same situation. Thought the World would
>>>>>>>> reject me.
>>>>>>>> Life was lived under great tension. But friend, the day I
>>>>>>>> stopped pretending, I discovered a whole new life of freedom and
>>>>>>>> fun. Life is determined by who you are, what you think and how you
>>>>>>>> carry yourself.
>>>>>>>> It
>>>>>>>> becomes very dangerous when you try to mould your life basis the
>>>>>>>> World's expectation of you. So "Stop pretending and start
>>>>>>>> living."
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>>>> From: AccessIndia
>>>>>>>> [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of
>>>>>>>> Alvesh Shokeen
>>>>>>>> Sent: Friday, April 6, 2018 11:46 AM
>>>>>>>> To: accessindia
>>>>>>>> Subject: [AI] Disclosing or not disclosing the visual impairment
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Hey list members, I am a partially blind person, I can manage
>>>>>>>> most of the chores at my own. People don't get easily that I am
>>>>>>>> visually impaired person. But this is true that I hide my
>>>>>>>> disability, for instance, on the dining table I pretent that I
>>>>>>>> don't like sweets in order to avoid the embarrassment of asking
>>>>>>>> where is the sweet kept on the table. I avoid social functions
>>>>>>>> just to make sure that no one is knowing the magnitude of my
>>>>>>>> vision condition. I am unable to become very social, thinking
>>>>>>>> that people will not like me on the account of my disability.
>>>>>>>> In order to hide my disability, I have to secrify a lot!  I hide
>>>>>>>> my disability just because of the matter of the fact that in my
>>>>>>>> society disabled people are looked with pity, and no one will
>>>>>>>> respect me and my parants after knowing that I am disabled
>>>>>>>> person. Though I am central government employee, still people
>>>>>>>> will doubt on my ability and education, they will say that he
>>>>>>>> got the job under quota reserved for handicapped persons.
>>>>>>>> Therefore till now, I am hiding my disability wherever possible.
>>>>>>>> Kindly suggest me how to live a good life with the disability
>>>>>>>> with full confidence. . I always think that why it happened to
>>>>>>>> me, while whole world is enjoying with their sight. When I think
>>>>>>>> of future married life, I am clueless that how will I manage
>>>>>>>> children and all, their education and then their marriage etc. I
>>>>>>>> feel life is useless with out sight.
>>>>>>>> Kindly help me  in coming out from this liquidating attitude.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
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>>>>>>>
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>>>>>>>
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>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> --
>>>>> [Sincerely,]
>>>>> Nagababu Arepalli national law university odisha,
>>>>> cuttack
>>>>> B.A,LL.B
>>>>> PH: +919000963966>+918688071288
>>>>> mail ID:
>>>>> nagababu...@gmail.com
>>>>> nagababuna...@gmail.com
>>>>> 11ba...@nluo.ac.in
>>>>> Skype:
>>>>> nagababuarepalli
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
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>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --
>>>> Umesh Kumar
>>>> M.Phil Research Scholar, CPS, JNU.
>>>> Mobile: +91 88-946 54-469
>>>> 9868606199
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
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>>
>>
>> --
>> nothing is difficult unless you make it appear so.
>>
>> r. aravind,
>>
>> Assistant manager
>> Department of sales
>> bank of baroda specialised mortgage store, Chennai.
>> mobile no: +91 9940369593, 9710945613.
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>
>
> --
> G. Vamshi
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