at that event, I believe your friend should clearly inform you or help you
in locating things. many a times I get such helps even though I personally I
don't need.
Umesha
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mohit Shah Shah" <[email protected]>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Saturday, 26 January, 2013 5:25 PM
Subject: Re: [AI] When you sometimes feel isolated in the company of
yoursighted friends
Thank you, everyone, for your responses.
As far as the food-related query is concerned, I don't think I
explained myself all that well.
The quantity of the food is indeed a pertinent matter, but I deal with
it by having only what is offered to me.
After that, if I am offered more food, I try to judge the quantity of
the food that's left on the basis of the level of insistence with
which the other person offers me that food.
If the person offers me something on repeated occasions, then I
consider it safe to assume that a reasonable quantity of that food
item is still left.
If the other person merely makes a feeble attempt, then I generally
asume that they're just doing it as a formality.
My question was different.
If a person brings something in their lunchbox that has to be had
with spoons and offers it to you, then how should you respond?
This is because you neither know where the food is nor do you know
where the spoon is.
I generally avoid such situations by politely and casually refusing to
take that particular food item.
I often notice that many people don't even offer me such kind of food
because they wonder, I assume, about what they will do if I agree.
Should I be straightforward and say, "Hey, can you give me a spoon to
have this?"
On 1/26/13, Siddhi Desai <[email protected]> wrote:
well mohit
there is no concrete answer to such questions
you will have to judge the situation in question.
for e.g. if your one of friends is showing photos of the place he
visited. you can ask related questions or catch the word in the
discussion regarding photos which will help you to participate in
their discussion. suppose your friends are laughing at the friend's
dressing style then it is possible that you can't get involve at that
moment but you ask the friend nearby to you who is participating in
laughter as you will understand upcoming jokes which will occur in
relation to the previous joke. actually, what i have observed that
these are problems you face in the initial stages when you are getting
accommodated but slowly you should start making them aware of the
problem you face. as per my experience after certain time , you and
your sighted friends will get habituated to each other. the main
problem which i feel is that when you enter in party or classrooms
when you are new to such things say new student in the class or new
member in club. it is possible, even at first day you find friends it
becomes difficult to spot the next day where they are sitting. or even
i have faced such situations where you can't describe appearance of
the friend you met earlier so it becomes very difficult in situations
like club where people do not know each other thoroughly or in
starting days of the classes where people are not familiar to each
other.
regarding food, i will suggest you ask such questions say, hmm so
today are we eating buffet or self service? or who is serving the
food! or you can ask the cost of the food and quantity so you can get
idea of the food so if you feel number of individuals are more than
food available so you can control your hunger :)! another if you
really don't know how much is food and you are are you all sharing in
1 plate then what i do is i just ask for separate plate and you can
tell this in as if you are not telling something serious or telling
your problem just say, if i will start eating you will left for
nothing so better to have in separate plate for myself! blindness has
that advantage of not knowing the limits on the availability of food
so better to self control :) however, what to say it completely
depends upon the situation types of people you are dealing with and
the food you are sharing. if they are biscuits then you can strike
up the discussion related to tastes of biscuits and find out which
types of biscuits are there and share together but if you have
something like chicken chilly or some things which you have delicate
to handle then you can use above mentioned trick to get in separate
plate.
and regarding the contribution to which you don't understand what is
going on. remember, a sighted person joining in middle of the task
going on also asks what are you doing guys? or even sometimes, i have
observed, sighted person sits there in the group and does things like
playing on mobile or flipping the book lying nearby and starts asking
"batana, what happened" so you can also pretend to be busy and ask
what's going on sorry i was busy in saving the number in my mobile or
some other reason suitable for that situation.
off course after you get settled in group you should start making your
friends aware about your problems as if you will not do that then
they will never understand. well, these were completely my thoughts
and anyone might have different opinions.
Regards
Siddhi
On 1/26/13, Syed Imran <[email protected]> wrote:
Good question. When any food's being shared, a totally blind person may
not
know how much to take as he or she may not know the total quantity of
the
food available. In such situations, I probably think communication is
our
best bet. May be we could talk to our sighted friends about these things
and
make them clear of what's expected of them at that point of time. We can
prepare them to tell us if there's more food, less food or just enough
for
the gathering.
In one of the meetings few months ago, As soon as I sat at the table, I
was
told that I could have some cookies if I like, and somebody just pushed
a
plate full of them towards me. I thought they're all for me, but still I
wanted to be sure. So I asked "Can I finish them all?" Interestingly,
someone on my far left was bold to say that everyone were sharing the
same
plate of those cookies with me and I won't be finishing all of them
myself.
-----Original Message-----
From: AccessIndia [mailto:[email protected]] On
Behalf
Of Umesha Economics
Sent: 26 January 2013 12:36
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AI] When you sometimes feel isolated in the company of
yoursighted friends
why may not you know how to eat it?
Umesha
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mohit Shah Shah" <[email protected]>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, 23 January, 2013 6:46 PM
Subject: [AI] When you sometimes feel isolated in the company of
yoursighted
friends
Hi all,
I know that we all have a lot of sighted friends and/or colleagues.
While it is always fun to hang out with friends, I sometimes face the
below mentioned problems.
When your sighted friends get too busy amongst themselves i.e. when
they're looking at some photos or are looking at someone/something and
are laughing hysterically, don't you feel kind of isolated or lonely?
Furthermore, when they are sharing food, it is difficult for the
blind person to really get involved because you may not know what the
food item is, and, even if you find out through their conversation or
by asking, you may get self-conscious and may not know how to eat it
when it is offered to you.
Always saying that you're not hungry cannot be an excuse. They
will eventually find out the real reason.
A friend of mine sometimes says, "I will help you to eat this." and
he puts the food in a spoon and gives it to me.
He does this with the best of intentions, but it always makes me feel
awkward and kind of incompetent.
And before any of the blind police say that I should learn table
manners, let me tell you that I know how to use a fork, knife and
spoon. I only face a problem in the aforementioned situation.
Similarly, you can always get involved when they're simply talking
about something, but you really can't do much when you don't even know
what they're doing.
Please let me know what you guys think about all this.
Cheers,
Mohit
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