Friends,

There is nothing wrong with two VI persons marrying each other. What I am
concerned with is the message that such mass weddings send out to the Govt,
Society and other family members of VI people. Further,blind people do not
form a community, such weddeings would tend to confirm the sterio type mind
set.
-----Original Message-----
From: AccessIndia [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf
Of reem shamsudeen
Sent: 25 February 2013 12:35
To: accessindia
Subject: [AI] about the mass wedding happened in paravoor

friends, it was inspiring to  read about the mass wedding of physicaly
challenged  happened at Kochin. perhaps i do not support the fact that
people with same kind of impairemend can live together is always possible.
however, apart from other kinds of disabilities, i strongly believe that
two visually impaired people can be together as partners and can lead a
successful life. no doubt there are challenges to face, and difficulties to
handle when these partners proceed their lives further, may be in
comparison to those problems that happen in the every day life of other
partners. i heard several times even our visually impaired friends asking,
how does a visually impaired girl do house hold duties? how does she
perform in child rareing? she cannot read books to me. she cannot guide
when i am travelling. how does she help me out if some emergency things
happen? how does she drive my car? (smile)....  being a visually impaired
girl in each and every moment of such expression, i became highly
irritated,  expressed my bitter, and burst out into anger, and even at
times into tears, primarily being insulted as a visually impaired girl. i
am sure that such expressions are merely out of schovenism. because it is
the societal norm that males can always demand.  if you think about
yourself, you are equally, or even worse disable in performing the above
mentioned expressions. so i feel that such expressions are merely an insult
to your own disability. now apart from the schovenistic attitude, it is
embarazing to reveal that  these demand makers are so narrow minded. in
this appologeticaly long mail, i would like to view the whole point from a
social perspective.  it is true that, at least out of the experiences in
Kerala, a visually impaired boy can easily get a sighted girl, recently
even without any educational compramises. at certain points, not even the
boy's social, financial status matter. but the case is totaly different
with a visually impaired girl even if she pursues a so called good
educational profile and professional status. girls are mostly dragged into
the rehabilitation centers, after a point due to the lack of a family
support. most among those who are financialy sound are forced to push
themselves into a lonely, isolated hostel life. i firmly believe that
marriage is not a reason to live, and the only cause that can make someone
happy. but again as per societal norms, it is really difficult for a single
girl to put down her feet and live boldly. i do not believe in the again
and again propogated fact that support from the sighted person as a partner
can make a visually impaired person's life easier, rather than the other
way round. it is totally depend upon the person to whom you get married. i
believe in finding alternatives to make our life easier. primarily it is to
be understood that today, most of the visually impaired girls are far, far
better than visually impaired boys in doing day to day things, perhaps by
force itself. in every partnership there exists a togetherness, where you
give and seek. moreover, it is all about how much does one want to have an
understanding partner with him or her. the same disabilities convey and
share lot of things silently. so much said and done, this mail does not
indent to force anyone to take their life as a challenge and jump into
conclusions. here i wished to pause a social issue.
that's all. so dear habeeb, do not feel agitated when someone raises an
exclamation  towards two impaired people being together. i am sure that you
must have heard such expressions earlier also. it is so common.  regards
reem

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