Hi friends, sighted can also be a good life patner specially in love
maridges but as far as arange r concern, it's hard to find a sighted of
equal status. Still if any VI wants arange maridge to a sighted then
definately he or she should ready for compromises. NGO'S r coming in this
field because families of VI persons r not performing their duties.
Reasons can be many. Yes, the NGO'S r comertialising and making profit
from this, but the needy r also the banificiary. Whith best regard
kapil email [email protected] facebook i.d [email protected]
mobile 09013386781
-original message-
Subject: Re: [AI] PARAVOOR:Mass wedding held for visually challenged
From: "Asudani, Rajesh" <[email protected]>
Date: 27/02/2013 10:13 am
Well, how can you say that disability is a totally irrelevant factor and
we should not talk or discuss it in marriage or in employment?
Such an avoiding attitude would not serve anybody well.
Let us frankly face it and arrive at a decision based on scientific
approach and our personal preferences.
Generalizing that blind/sighted marriage is more a escort and caretaker
relation and not a life parternership, is really insulting many couples
like myself....
-----Original Message-----
From: AccessIndia [mailto:[email protected]] On
Behalf Of Prashant Ranjan Verma
Sent: Tuesday, February 26, 2013 11:22 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AI] PARAVOOR:Mass wedding held for visually challenged
When advocating for employment of persons with disabilities we ask the
employer not to look at the disability but to verify the capability of the
candidate to do the job.
Similarly in case of marriages we should not consider or talk about
disability of the partner, only consider mutual compatibility.
I am unhappy that many disabled totally reject the idea of marrying a
disabled even though they may be preaching "disabled can do everything".
They should not at least make disability a criteria when advertising for a
partner.
Marriage I think is the last and essential part of rehabilitation of a
person with disability. Arranging marriges for the disabled is a very
difficult and hazardous task and that is why most prominent NGOs are not
taking it up even though they realize the need for it.
We should not scare away people who are taking such steps now. We only
have
to make sure that no one is being forced to do anything.
And if anyone has better ideas on how it should be done, he/she should
take
the initiative and implement it independently or with any NGO.
In my last 12+ years with the visually impaired community, I have found
marriage for the disabled to be the most challenging task. And I can
verify
that women with disability suffer most due to such attitudes and many of
them remain unmarried for life. The men initially try their best to get a
non-disabled or a partner with mild disability and when it is too late
have
to make lot of comprimises in selecting the partner. The spouse in those
cases is more of an escort and caretaker than a life partner.
Thanks,
Prashant
-----Original Message-----
From: AccessIndia [mailto:[email protected]] On
Behalf
Of habeeb. c
Sent: 26 February 2013 22:50
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AI] PARAVOOR:Mass wedding held for visually challenged
so much has been said on the topic. Yet i want to say a few remarks.
To hemangshu sir,
Even with my reservation on the term Mainstream, sorry to say that
probably
it was that single sentence remark of yours that had made me miss
understand
your sentiment. Sorry if i have hurt you. With regard to the role of NGO
even though i'm not an executive oficial of KFB, i can clearly say that we
had forced nobody to be a part of this event, when lions club agreed for
such a proposal, we gave an advertisement, and some people came forward
and
the lions people helped them. Where have we committed a mistake here. IN a
society where people are not able to get married on account of their
impairment, coupled with financial and social backwardness, when an NGO
becomes ready to help such people, you all mean that we are to tell them
that this may create a wrong message in the society and we don't want to
promote such a scheme. It inturn means that we prefer such people to
remain
bachilors. Even after the encouragement of the NGOs and the assistance
from
different quarters of society, Many of our VI friends are sceptical
regarding marriage. So what according to you all "Those who critisize mass
marriages" is the solution for this problem. Last but not least, What is
the
objective of Marriage, Is it to become a part of main. stream.
On 2/26/13, Subramani L <[email protected]> wrote:
One thing is, marriages on mass forces people into a bracket of
recipients of charity which is not a very positive thing. And again,
it's absurd to look at marriage from disability perspective. If you
all truely believe that you are differently abled, I'm sure someone is
bound to find that different ability of your's. The question is
whether marriages are events of solemnizing relationships between
loving couples or if they are performed as a reinstatement of the
charity message. I'm sure most of us have some reservations about the
latter.
regards,
Subramani
P.S: Thanks to Payal for the correction. Regret the error.
On 2/25/13, avinash shahi <[email protected]> wrote:
I'm glad to read conflicting claims with regard to 'Mass Marriage
Melange'.
and thought to join in this vibrant discussion and deliberation.
Facilitating mass marriages of visually challenged has become an
entrepreneurial come social-service self-satisfying practice these
days.
in fact in many parts of the country, specially in mega metros and
mini metros, scores of marriages are arranged, and solemnized.
This growing phenomena raises many questions.
1. Is getting married to a non-disabled really take you in the domain
of 'mainstream'?
When Actor seeks actress for marriage, player looks player for
marriage, poet desires poetess for marriage, then why can't blind
man marry to a blind woman?
Now question begs attention, who defines mainstream?
and is marrying to a non-disabled is enough to be called in the
mainstream?
I don't think so.
Choice of marriage is purely subjective. and if so called mainstream
occupants are morally bbound to accomodate marginalized, hence
marginalised have an ethical duty towards their fellow beings
irrespective of jender.
Marriage is not a constitutional right which one can expect from so
called mainstream people to accomodate the rest from the periphery.
Marriage entails: mutual respect, equal concerns, and and love along
with sacrifice.
And mainstream is a myth, which celebrates untouchability, cheers
masculinity, and despises disability.
Now will leave with two more questions Which need further
contemplation, but I'm not in a position to take any view; hope many
people here will put some light on these questions.
1. Why NGOs Which are traditionally supposed to facilitate
educational and employable empowerment of visually challenged has
picked up new attractive dimention in their spheres to organize
marriage of visually challenged?
2. And why adult blind people flock in huge numbers to seek spouse
via these NGOs?
On 2/25/13, Asudani, Rajesh <[email protected]> wrote:
I am compelled to congratulate Himanshu for his scientific approach..
-----Original Message-----
From: AccessIndia [mailto:[email protected]] On
Behalf Of Himanshu Sahu
Sent: Monday, February 25, 2013 2:20 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AI] PARAVOOR:Mass wedding held for visually challenged
Hello,
Let me be very specific with the topic,
1. It does not make any difference to me that which organization
organized the mass wedding or what they have done earlier in this
respect. This may be of liking to those who are involved in it or
benefitted through it and publicizing it. Further I do not deny the
necessity of such mass marriages and appreciate the initiative. But
still my simple question remains unanswered that "how it brings VIs
into mainstream"?
2. Well, knowing me personally is not going to solve your
confusion,
but for the sake of correcting your hypothesis I am compelled to
inform you that I lost eyesight 10 years back and have been the
member of list for last 4 years. And I too know many of VI couples
friends.
But here as well, as earlier, I am not able to understand that being
new or old member of list, and, knowing VI couples or not, is how
come related with the issue of bringing VIs into mainstream?
3. In answer to your next question, I would only say that marrying
within community or outside community and whether blind couple are
happy or not, is a broad topic and I am not interested to deviate
from the actual topic that is "how it brings VIs into mainstream"?
Friend, in the zeal of getting your project acclaimed aren't you
trying to establish a plain charitable mass marriage as inclusion of
VIs into mainstream? Definitely mass marriage is a part of
rehabilitation but not the inclusion into mainstream. I would have
rather appreciated it if all VIs were married with sighted
counterparts and then one would have called it as an attempt to
bringing VIs into mainstream. Still the sighted world is well-known
and well-established "mainstream" and all of hue and cry made by VI
community has more or less similar theme to get incorporated into
this mainstream as we are kept secluded from it.
For the better clarification of the term "mainstream", please refer
to the below mentioned some of the dictionary meanings of the term:
"To incorporate into the prevailing group"
"Representing the prevalent attitudes and values of a society or
groups"
And, "normal", "typical", "conventional" etc.
So, it demonstrates that what we are talking about is not an attempt
of incorporation into mainstream, and if one wishes to deny it have
to innovate or forcefully create a new definition of incorporation
into mainstream! And I extend my best wishes to those who want to do
this novel Endeavour.
On 2/24/13, avinash shahi <[email protected]> wrote:
By Express News Service - PARAVOOR
24th February 2013 09:22 AM
Photos
The mass wedding of visually challenged couples, held by the
Lioness Board, the women's wing of the Lion's Club of District 318
C, at Paravoor, on Saturday. As part of bringing physically
handicapped people into the mainstream, Lioness Board, the women's
wing of the Lion's Club, of District 318 C, held a mass wedding
that saw 18 visually challenged couples taking marital vows at
Paravoor on Saturday.
http://newindianexpress.com/states/kerala/article1476830.ece
'Porutham 2013', held at Paravoor Vyapara Bhavan, was inaugurated
by Lions Club district governor Abraham Panjikkaran. Union Minister
for Food and Civil Supplies K V Thomas was the chief guest at the
function.
While delivering the keynote address, Thomas said that the mass
wedding would be a model for the nation, and the event was an
occasion to learn how a society could be responsible.
The couples were presented with 2.5 sovereigns of gold ornaments
each and `15,000 in cash.
The money was distributed by municipal chairperson Valsala
Prasannakumar and actor Mythili. Aluva Rural SP Satish Bino
distributed financial aid for enabling self-employment for the
visually challenged couples.
From 102 clubs under District 318 C, dresses and household
utensils, including pressure cookers, were given as gifts to the
newly-weds.
Club president Indira Bai Prasad, secretary Susheela Varghese, Prof
Monamma Kokkad, chief co-ordinator A Rajan, Human Rights Commission
chairman Justice Benjamin Koshy offered felicitations.
Out of the 205 applicants, 18 couples were selected. The club would
conduct a mass wedding for 50 couples in 2014, said Indira Bai Prasad.
--
Avinash Shahi
MPhil Research Scholar
Centre for the Study of Law and Governance Jawaharlal Nehru
University New Delhi India
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Thanks and regards
Himanshu Sahu
Reach: 09051055000
Skype: himanshu.cute4u
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