Friends

When the issue of compatibility is considered key in creating
conducive climate for couple's career, better professional background
should be given the utmost priority while finding partner. It can work
well in arrange marages, but in love? nothing can be surmised and all
happens at one go. either you swim or you sink... but Ideally, we
blind people should also seek partners from the same professional
background. For example, I'd be glad to live my marital life with
someone who should also belong to academics and preferably from
disability studies. So my disability issues will be taken care of
before hand...
On 7/1/14, Amar Jain <amarjain2...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Let me share my thoughts as a growing adult on the issue of sighted vs.
> blind.
>
> Choosing a blind partner: Many of us do have these doubts as to
> whether a blind partner would be better than a sighted partner or not.
>
> To my mind, the difference is in the fact that having a blind partner
> would make things easy to the extent of your understanding of the
> issues concerning the blindness. So, in case of a sighted person you
> may need to work with them for example to not to change the place of
> the things frequently as that may cause a little discomfort in your
> daily work. And the disability related issues will need to be
> explained to him. Which are not required to be done in case of a blind
> partner at that basic level.
>
> But that does not mean that you will have a better compatebility. That
> has got nothing to do with disability per se.
>
> It also depends how well you can play your role in that other
> partner's life. I have seen many blind people arguing for a sighted
> partner just because they think that their challenges of life will be
> over. That type of dependence to my mind is not good for a married
> life. Remember, he is your  companion not a servant or assistant.
>
> Choosing a Sighted: Many sighted do not give a deep thought on the
> issues concerning marrying a blind partner of course when that initial
> resistance of others is over once they decide that they themselves
> have no mental blocks in getting a blind partner. Its only at the
> later stage when people realize that its a lifetime battle as regards
> the answering the society, or anything else for that matter.
>
> At that stage both need to act sensibally. For example, I would never
> like to listen if my wife happens to be sighted at a later stage in
> life that she made a mistake by choosing a blind partner. That can
> only happen if I continue to play my active role, and I am not over
> dependent on her.
>
> The only consequence of having a blind partner which to my mind is
> that how can you as a male partner ensure her safety and security. And
> I am not saying that all blind females who have blind husbands are
> unsafe or unsecured. Its just offering that comfort. And of course
> some additional challenges like teaching your kids subjects like
> Science where you yourself have the weak background, which may need to
> be tackled appropriately.
>
> Now as far as convincing a sighted partner is concerned: First and
> foremost, I am of the opinion that do not try everyone and anyone.
> Spend proper time, and then understand really is it what you are
> looking for? Forget be it blind or sighted.
>
> Second, I quite agree with Rajesh sir and Shadab bhaiya's views of
> being yourself and having your other qualities at its best which can
> then open a window for detailed and deep discussion. Disability
> related challenges need to be discussed not only between the
> individuals but also at the family level to avoid complications if
> any.
>
> If you have a decent earning prospects and a decent life wherein you
> are capable of upbringing your family well, then it is not as big
> problem as we see getting a sighted partner also. Again to emphasise,
> the only important aspect is to discuss the disability related
> challenges at the beginning itself to avoid issues in future.
>
> Nikita diii is just one exceptional example. maintaining yourself as a
> girl of that kind despite blindness also is a big thing to happen! But
> of course city, education, family and all plays a big role in that
> personality with which one comes out as an individual.
>
> Regards,
> --
> Amar Jain.
> Website: www.amarjain.com
>
>
>
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-- 
Avinash Shahi
M.Phil Research Scholar
Centre for The Study of Law and Governance
Jawaharlal Nehru University
New Delhi India



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