Hi!

I conducted as second AD review of draft-ietf-acme-star per the AD hand-off.  I 
have the following feedback:

** (From the first AD review) Per the issue of PS vs. Experimental status - I 
reviewed Section 5, Shepherd Write-up and the ML thread of the previous AD 
review 
(https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/acme/ZWRzPxrWBrp_xjEn98A4HOBxkc4).  From 
that I see there was one prototype implementation (from MAMI, thanks!) and a 
hackathon.  To following up, who has indicated interest in implementing this 
draft?

** Section 2.1.  Per "The bootstrap phase ends when the Id0 obtains a 
confirmation from the ACME CA that includes a star-certificate endpoint", 
what's a "star certificate endpoint" and how is that different than an "order 
URL for the issued STAR certificate" (per the previous paragraph)?

** Section 2.2.  Per "The CA issues the initial certificate, typically when the 
authorization is done", what is the circumstance where the certificate is 
issued before the authorization?

** Section 3.1.2.  Per "The server MUST NOT issue any additional certificates 
for this order beyond the certificate that is available for collection at the 
time of deletion":
-- what is "time of deletion"?  Is that the same as the time order cancelation? 
-- What does "beyond the certificate that is available for collection" mean if 
the text below this sentence says that accessing the star-certificate URL 
should return a 403 error?

** Section 3.3.  The example shows a Link HTTP header but does not explain how 
it should be populated.

** Section 7.  I didn't see any language in the Security Consideration about 
the impact/exposure of shifting to a model where certificate revocation doesn't 
occur.  In Section 1, [Topalovic] hints at potentially cover this topic, but 
the site used in the reference section didn't resolve for me.  It needs some 
treatment in the Security Considerations

** Section 7.2.  The guidance in Section 7.2 seems appropriate for the 
identified privacy issue.  However, it also seems to apply to the more basic 
security issue of guessing the URL too.
-- Is there a reason why this isn't mentioned as a security issue too?
-- Why is the recommendation for a server to choose URLs in a non-guessable 
only a SHOULD and not a MUST?  Under what circumstances would it be advisable 
for the URLs to be guessable?

Editorial Feedback:

** Section 1.0  Per the sentence "The Id0 can terminate the automatic renewal 
before the natural deadline", what's a "natural deadline"?  Isn't it a 
"negotiated deadline" or "negotiated renewal window"?   

** Section 1.1  It seems odd to call out name delegation as the only formal use 
case.

** Section 2.2.  Per Figure 1, this isn't explicitly noted as an example so it 
strikes me as inappropriate to include "72-hours" as the auto-renew period is 
negotiated (as it is so specific and could be read as normative).  Either call 
this an example or change "72 hours" to be something on the order of "short 
validity period".

** Section 2.3.  Figure 2 is included in Section 2.3 but is not referenced in 
the text.

** Sections 3.1.1, 3.1.2.  What is the role of the json blob after the first 
paragraph?  It isn't referenced in the text and doesn't have a figure number.

** Section 3.1.1. Add a citation to "Section 7.1.3 of RFC8555" for notBefore 
and notAfter.

** Section 3.1.1.  Add the citation "Section 7.1.6 of RFC8555" to the sentence, 
"ACME defines the following values ..." to make it clear what part of ACME you 
are updating/extending.

** Section 3.1.1.  The first few paragraphs describing the new STAR items in 
the request as "attributes".  However, the last paragraph starting with "A STAR 
certificate ..." refers to "certificate" and "star-certificate" as a "key".  Be 
consistent.

** Section 3.2. Typo.  /The directory/the directory/

** Section 3.2.  As the meta field is being extended, add a reference to 
Section 9.7.6 of RFC8555.

** Section 3.2.  Use attribute or key to referrer to the additions to the 
"meta" field, not both.

** Section 3.2, 3.3.  Per the example, I recommend making this an explicit 
figure with a number that you reference instead of introducing it with a long 
sentence that ends with a colon.

** Section 3.4.  The recurrent-certificate-get is referred to as an attribute, 
but here it is called a key.  I recommend making this consistent.

** Section 3.4.  Does the sentence "If the server accepts the request, it MUST 
reflect the key in the Order" mean that if the server accepts the request to 
support unauthenticated GETs, it will keep the recurrent-certificate-get=true 
in the order response?  If so, I'd recommend making this sentence a little 
clearer as without the assumed context of the section I didn't understand what 
it meant to "reflect a key".

** Section 3.5.1.  Per the array after the text "The notBefore and notAfter ... 
paragraph", why is this a JSON styled array?

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