Hi Roman, thank you very much for the great comments. There is now a GitHub issue for each review item:
https://github.com/yaronf/I-D/issues?q=label%3A%22AD+review%22+label%3A%22ACME+STAR+Delegation%22 We will get back to you as soon as we are done with the edits, or if there's anything that needs further discussion. Cheers, thanks! On 04/02/2021, 22:51, "Acme on behalf of Roman Danyliw" <[email protected] on behalf of [email protected]> wrote: Hi! I did an AD review of draft-ietf-acme-star-delegation-04. Thanks for this work to apply the STAR profile (rfc8739). Below are my comments. There are a number of editorial clarifications proposed below. The item that likely needs some discussion is the syntax of the CSR template. ** Idnit: ** Obsolete normative reference: RFC 6844 (Obsoleted by RFC 8659) == Outdated reference: A later version (-04) exists of draft-ietf-cdni-interfaces-https-delegation-03 -- Unexpected draft version: The latest known version of draft-ietf-stir-cert-delegation is -02, but you're referring to -03. ** Section 1. Editorial. Missing preposition. OLD This document describes a profile of the ACME protocol [RFC8555] that allows the NDC to request the IdO, acting as a profiled ACME server, a certificate for a delegated identity NEW This document describes a profile of the ACME protocol [RFC8555] that allows the NDC to request from the IdO, acting as a profiled ACME server, a certificate for a delegated identity ** Section 2.2. Editorial. Recommend symmetry in naming of the orders and being explicit on the order in question. -- second from last bullet. s/reflected in the NDC order/reflected in Order 1 (i.e., the NDC Order)/ -- last bullet. s/moves its state to "valid"/moves the Order 1 state to "valid"/ ** Section 2.2. Should the buffering requirement for the CSR be normative - s/The IdO must buffer/The IdO MUST buffer/ ** Section 2.2. Per "[No identify validation]", what is meant by that? ** Section 2.3.1. Editorial. s/The IdO can delegate multiple names through each NDC/The IdO can delegate multiple names to a NDC/ ** Section 2.3.1. Are there any constraints to what the delegation URLs could point to? ** Section 2.3.1. Per "The value of this attribute is the URL pointing to the delegation configuration object that is to be used for this certificate request", what is the error handling if the delegation attribute doesn't point to a URL found in the delegations URL list? ** Section 2.3.2. It might be worth pointing out the obvious when clarifying the properties of the Order objects such as: -- That the value field will be the delegated name -- The expected symmetry in field values between NDC-generated order object and the one made by the IdO ** Section 2.3.2. Per "When the validation of the identifiers has been successfully completed ...", it would be useful to clarify who is doing the validation and when. Figure 1 suggests that there is only a validation process between IdO client and CA server. However, wouldn't the IdO server be checking the identifiers submitted by the NDC client too (prior to passing them to the CA server too? ** Section 2.3.2 and 2.3.3. I didn't understand the titles used to organize of content -- "Order Object on the NDC-IdO side" vs. "IdO-CA side". They didn't follow the clear convention introduced by Figure 1 of NDC client, IdO client, IdO server and CA server. Additionally, Section 2.3.2 discusses behavior which seems to be IdO client-to-CA Server (which doesn't seem like "NDC IdO side"). Additionally, Section 2.3.3. seems to be describing the requirements that correspond to construction of the order sent to the CA which is also covered at the end of Section 2.3.2. ** Section 2.4. Per "The authors believe that this is a very minor security risk", it would be worth explicitly explaining that position (and not framed as the belief of the authors) ** Section 2.5. This section introduces a new architectural element, ACME Delegation server, but doesn't define it. Simply referencing the use cases in Section 4.1.2 isn't enough as this section doesn't even use those words ("Delegation server"). ** Section 2.5. Per "The "Location" header must be rewritten", it would be useful to describe the new target. ** Section 3.1. There are some challenges with the template syntax. -- Where is the normative format for the syntax? Section 3.1 points to Appendix B which lists JSON schema whose format is specified "draft 7 of JSON Schema, which may not be the latest version of the corresponding Internet Draft [I-D.handrews-json-schema] at the time of publication". As far as I can tell "draft 7 of JSON Schema" seems to resolve to https://json-schema.org/specification-links.html which points back to draft-handrews-json-schema. This draft appears to be an expired, individual draft codifying. This ambiguity and lack of stable reference is problematic. -- Accepting the Json schema as is, there is no annotation on the fields. The field names very much look like X.509 fields but the text provides no guidance on how they should be interpreted to create a CSR beyond explaining "**", "*" and what is mandatory. I would have expected a field mapping but the text explicitly says "The mapping between X.509 CSR fields and the template will be defined in a future revision of this document.". ** Section 3.1. The NDC MUST NOT include in the CSR any fields that are not specified in the template, and in particular MUST NOT add any extensions unless those were previously negotiated out of band with the IdO. These two normative clauses seem to conflict. The first clause says that the CSR can only have fields listed in the template (and nothing else). How would one include extensions not in the template based on out of band negotiation? It seems like it is either in the template or not. ** Section 4. Is this entire section normative protocol guidance? Or just informatively describing use cases? If it is informative, please say so. ** Section 4.1.* Please expand UA = User Agent and CP = Content Provider prior to their introduction in the figures ** Section 4.1.2.1. Please expand SAN. ** Section 4.1.2.1. There is a TBD text here, "TBD bootstrap, see https://github.com/yaronf/I-D/issues/47"; ** Section 4.1.2.1 Step 2 of Figure 6. Editorial. Don't use colloquial language "CDNI things" - s/CDNI things/CDNU meta-data/ ** Section 5.*. Add "registry" to the name of the registry in question. For example, in Section 5.1.: s/ACME Directory Metadata Fields/ACME Directory Metadata Registry/ ** Section 5.4. If there isn't a registry, why are they in the IANA section? Should we create a registry? ** Section 5.5. Editorial. To make the bulleted list explaining the fields symmetric with the registry columns: NEW: An extension name An extension type (the syntax, as a JSON Schema snippet) The mapping to an X.509 certificate extension. ** Section 5.5. Per the definition of the "type" column: -- Formally, what is a JSON Schema snippet? In particular, the three pre-loaded values reference seem to reference "Appendix B" which doesn't seem like a "snippet" (it containing a fully valid and well-formed XML file). -- The registration policy is "expert review" so in theory a document is not needed. Is the thinking that the registry row could contain a bare JSON snippet? ** Section 5.5. What does "(only for the supported name formats)" mean in the "Mapping to X.509" of subjectAltName ** Section 6.2. Editorial. s/cert/certificate/ ** Section 6.2. Per the enumeration of the "two separate parts" of the delegation process, isn't there also: -- serving the certificate back to the NDC -- a process for handling revocation of the delegation and the certificate itself Both of these seem to be discussed in Section 6.3 in some form. ** Figure 1 and 8. In the spirit of consistency, consider if the CA should be named the "CA Server" (per figure 1) or "ACME server" (per figure 8). ** Section 6.4. s/Following is the proposed solution where/The following is a possible mitigation when/ Regards, Roman _______________________________________________ Acme mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/acme IMPORTANT NOTICE: The contents of this email and any attachments are confidential and may also be privileged. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender immediately and do not disclose the contents to any other person, use it for any purpose, or store or copy the information in any medium. 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