I enjoy satire.

On Aug 12, 2016 1:15 PM, <[email protected]> wrote:

> Todays column excerpt:
>
> So my friends in Copenhagen are asking, “What’s going on in America that
> you got so crazy so suddenly?” Danes take an interest in us because their
> country is flat and if our emissions melt Greenland, they’ll have to move
> to Norway where the vowels are different and the beer tastes fishy.
>
> I tell them: the Big Snapper is the result of a longstanding American
> dread of meetings. Liberals adore meetings and whenever there is
> uncertainty in the air — salmon or salad for dinner? The Woody Allen movie
> or the documentary on income inequality? — they plop down with their lattes
> and everyone has her or his say, which takes hours and results in a report
> that leads to a task force and then a twoyear study. The Snapper is not big
> on meetings. Short attention span and superior intelligence: Let’s go. Get
> her done. Move on.
>
> The second reason for his nomination is The Fascination of the
> Unthinkable: when the rational fails to satisfy, then why not the
> counterintuitive? If your car won’t start and you don’t know why, push it
> over a cliff and watch it blow up. If you’re tired of the same old same
> old in Washington, why not elect Bob Barker, host of “The Price Is Right”?
> It’s like having a walrus in church Sunday morning. The minister tries to
> explain the parable of the vineyard and the walrus says, “BLEAUGHHHHHH.”
> Which one do you remember for weeks afterward?
>

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