>
>
> ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
> Smart man+smart woman=romance
> Smart man+dumb woman=affair
> Dumb man + smart woman=marriage
> Dumb man+dumb woman=pregnancy
>
> OFFICE ARITHMETIC
> Smart boss+smart employee=profit
> Smart boss+dumb employee =production
> Dumb boss+smart employee =promotion
> Dumb boss+dumb employee=overtime
>
> SHOPPING MATH
> A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
>
> GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
> A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
> A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
> HAPPINESS
> To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a 
> little.
> To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
> understand her at all.
>
> LONGEVITY
> Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot
> more willing to die.
>
> INCLINATION TO CHANGE
> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
>
> HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
> Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
> cackling,telling me, "You're next."
> They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
>
> 



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