*PUNS OF THE DAY 01-05-11* *Thrift is a marvelous virtue, especially in an ancestor*
Robinson Crusoe fell desperately ill. Just before dropping into a coma, he called for his man Friday to help him. Friday, not knowing what else to do, went outside of Crusoe's tent and danced around and prayed for God to come and help his master. Shortly afterwards, Crusoe awoke from his coma and groggily perceived a shape at the foot of his bed. In panic, he imagined that the angel of death had come to get him. Then the man's shape came into focus, and he cried with relief, "Thank God! It's Friday!" ** *"Our wall clock almost killed my mother today!" a wife complains. "It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch!" The husband mumbles, "Damn clock always was slow."* A man just got dumped by his girlfriend. He was telling several friends about how it happened and said, "When I was talking to her on the phone, she told me something about meeting a man in Germany. This man owns a sheep farm and is very, very rich." Then one of the friends asked, "You mean she dumped you for a German shepherd?" *Customer: "What does this mean? There's a fly in the bottom of my teacup!" Waitress: "How should I know? I'm a waitress, not a fortuneteller."* A panda walks into a diner, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots out the restaurant's windows. As the panda stands up to go, the owner shouts, "Hey! Where do you think you're going? You just shot my windows out and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the owner, "Hey man, I'm a Panda! Look it up!" The owner gets out a dictionary, looks it up, and sees the following definition for "PANDA": "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin. Eats shoots and leaves." *It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors. (Sam Levenson)* A woman went to her doctor's office where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about four minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out screaming and ran down the hallway. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. She told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor and demanded: "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Smith is 59 years old, has four grown children, seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?!" The new doctor continued writing on his clipboard, and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?" *I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"* * * __._,_.___ -- you have this email because you join to "aga-madjid" GoogleGroups. to post emails, just send to : [email protected] to join this group, send blank email to : [email protected] to quit from this group, just send email to : [email protected] please visit to www.facebook.com/aga.madjid, add my Yahoo Messenger at [email protected] or add my twitter @aga_madjid thanks for joinning this group.
