*PUNS OF THE DAY 01-07-11* *She wanted to make an impression on her new boyfriend, so she put on her low cut dress to show him a thing or two.*
Out by the Cheyenne River, an enterprising Native American founded a business manufacturing crepe paper. Using modern equipment and Internet Marketing techniques, he built a reputation for quality paper printed with traditional tribal designs. A certain gourmet in Chicago was arranging a party and, via the Internet, ordered what he intended to be 25 sets of the designer-pattern crepe paper. When the shipment arrived, it turned out that the order had been entered as 25 *cases* of crepe paper. The gourmet bellowed at an assistant, "Send this back -- the crepe Sioux sets have been grossly overdone!" (Jerry Ulett) *She was a wall flower at the dance, but a dandelion in the grass?* The road we were on led us to a covered bridge just as another car approached from the opposite direction. At an impasse, the other driver -- clearly feeling wronged -- shouted, "I never back up for idiots!" My friend put her car in reverse and replied, "I do." *She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.* Little Red Riding Hood got to her grandmother's house and didn't recognize the wolf in grandma's clothing, but she knew something was different. "Why, Grandmother, what big eyes you have," said Little Red. "They appear larger because i had an eyelid tuck at a marvelous plastic surgeon on Rodeo Drive," said the wolf in grandma's clothing. And Little Red believed him because it made perfect sense. "Why, Grandmother, what big ears you have," said Little Red. "They appear larger because i had my hair done by this marvelous new stylist on Fifth Avenue and he gave me an uplift style to match my new breast implants," said the wolf in grandma's clothing. And Little Red believed him because it made perfect sense. "Why, Grandmother, what big teeth you have," said Little Red. "They're new implants," said the wolf in grandma's clothing, "and they serve me well when i'm eating the snacks at the bar during happy hour." and Little Red went running out of the house crying, "Wolf! wolf! wolf!" because she knew that grandma was always in the restaurant eating the earlybird special at four o'clock like any retiree, but the bars at happy hour are always full of wolves. (Cynthia MacGregor) *A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'* In the hospital where I work, the quality of meals offered in the employees' cafeteria is a source of aggravation. Once I watched two young surgeons approach the serving line. After reading the posted menu and looking over the dishes displayed, one doctor turned to the other and remarked, "No doubt about it, this calls for a culinary bypass." And they left. (Paul R. Monfils) *The Buddhist refused Novocain during a root canal because his goal was to transcend dental medication.* There was a recent theft of egg-enriched flour from a local warehouse. Unfortunately, the theft happened just before Shabbat and it forced many local bakeries to bake their Shabbat bread with plain, white flour. A rabbi told the press, "I'm appalled by the rise in white challa crimes." *The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.* * * __._,_.___ ==> StumpySteve said ... http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/MisfitsCafe/message/167 The Latest in Human Nutrition 2010 - Michael Greger MD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYLRKa9p0Rs ==> The Healthcare Crisis: How to Get Off Meds with Your Doctor's Help http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWJsGYIEG_4 * Transitioning Your Diet To Alkaline Foods http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nOqnQ5fyAw (\__/) (='.'=) Dear Dorothy, Hate Oz. Took the shoes. (")_(") Find your own way home!!! xoxo Toto http://StumpySteve.com/forums <http://stumpysteve.com/forums> ********************* Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional Change settings via the Web<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Twisted-Humor/join;_ylc=X3oDMTJmdW1jb25rBF9TAzk3NDc2NTkwBGdycElkAzc5ODE1MTUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDgzNzY0BHNlYwNmdHIEc2xrA3N0bmdzBHN0aW1lAzEyOTQzOTg1OTA->(Yahoo! ID required) Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest<[email protected]?subject=email+delivery:+Digest>| Switch to Fully Featured<[email protected]?subject=change+delivery+format:+Fully+Featured> Visit Your Group <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Twisted-Humor;_ylc=X3oDMTJkbmEzNWJsBF9TAzk3NDc2NTkwBGdycElkAzc5ODE1MTUEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDgzNzY0BHNlYwNmdHIEc2xrA2hwZgRzdGltZQMxMjk0Mzk4NTkw>| Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>| Unsubscribe <[email protected]?subject=unsubscribe> __,_._,___ -- *".... I am the KING to my own UNIVERSE that Rule my MIND, BODY and SOUL !!! ...." * ** *- Lo Fen Koei -* -- you have this email because you join to "aga-madjid" GoogleGroups. to post emails, just send to : [email protected] to join this group, send blank email to : [email protected] to quit from this group, just send email to : [email protected] please visit to www.facebook.com/aga.madjid, add my Yahoo Messenger at [email protected] or add my twitter @aga_madjid thanks for joinning this group.
