*1.** ** **Law of Mechanical Repair - *After your hands become
coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch & you'll have to pee.
*2.** ** **Law of Gravity ** - *Any tool, nut, bolt, screw,
when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
*3.** ** Law of Probability ** - *The probability of being watched is
directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
*4.** ** **Law of Random Numbers * - If you dial a wrong number, you
never get a busy signal & someone always answers.
*5.** ** **Law of the Alibi * *- *If you tell the boss you were
late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will
have a flat tire.
*6.** ** **Variation Law ** - *If you change lines (or traffic
lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in
now (works every time).
*7.** ** Law of the **Bath** * - When the body is fully immersed in
water, the telephone rings.
*8.** ** Law of Close Encounters ** - *The probability of meeting
someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't
want to be seen with.
*9.** ** Law of the Result ** - *When you try to prove to someone
that a machine won't work, it will.
*10.** ** Law of Biomechanics - *The severity of the itch is
inversely proportional to the reach.
*11..** ** Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena *- A t any event, the
people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They
are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer,
or the toilet & who leave early before the end of the performance or the
game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once,
have long gangly legs or big bellies & stay to the bitter end of the
performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
*12.** ** The Coffee Law *- A s soon as you sit down to a cup of hot
coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the
coffee is cold.
*13.** ** **Murphy's Law of Lockers *- I f there are only 2 people
in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
*14.** ** Law of Physical Surfaces ** - *The chances of an
open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly
correlated to the newness & cost of the carpet or rug.
*15.** ** **Law of Logical Argument ** - *Anything is possible if
you don't know what you are talking about.
*16.** ** **Brown's Law of Physical Appearance ** - *If the
clothes fit, they're ugly.
*17.** ** **Oliver's Law of Public Speaking ** - *A closed mouth
gathers no feet.
*18.** ** * *Wilson** 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy **
- *As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop
making it.
*19.** ** Doctors' Law ** - *If you don't feel well, make an
appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel
better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick
*------------------------------------------------------- *
*A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took
the husband aside & said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.' 'Me
neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook & really good with
the kids.'*
*---------------------------------- *
*An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you
will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on
you.' The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and
wife.'*
*----------------------------------- *
*While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of
bathing suits. It had been at least ten years & twenty pounds since I had
even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied 'You'd never get it all in one.' He's
still in intensive care.*
*-----------------------------------*
*The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap
of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even
more thunder rumbling in the distance.*
*The little old man looked at the preacher & calmly said, 'Well . . .
she's there.'*
--
*".... I am the KING to my own UNIVERSE that Rule my MIND, BODY and SOUL !!!
...." *
**
*- Lo Fen Koei -*
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