-----Original Message-----
From: Ernest Hayes <[email protected]>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2011 15:46:50 
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: MisfitsCafe.com -  Dictionary For Women

Dictionary For Women

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he hasn't realised it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n.
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n.
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced
the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he "made the
dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n.
Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.
An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut
M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.
To walk up and down a shopping mall, occasionally resting to make a
purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
What you spend ½ an hour writing, then forget to take to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate
again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n.
Similar to a black hole in space -- if he goes in, he isn't coming out
anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n.
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand
and say "focus...breathe...push..."

Lipstick (lip*stik) n.
On your lips, colouring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar,
colouring only a tramp would wear!

Park (park) v./n.
Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children,
a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n.
The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also
"tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to
remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance,
but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

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