-----Original Message----- From: Bambi Tummons <[email protected]> Sender: [email protected] Date: Sun, 6 Mar 2011 22:02:54 Reply-To: [email protected] Subject: MisfitsCafe.com - WORDPLAY
It was obvious one Monday morning at The Restaurant School, where I
was training to be a chef, that it had been party time that weekend. Most
students were nodding off in their seats. The instructor, demonstrating
a short-order breakfast, had many dishes going at once and soon there
was the smell of burning toast. The instructor looked at it, at the dozing
students and demanded, "What is this?"
One sleepy student glanced at the black smoke and mumbled, "It's coma
toast, sir."
=========================================
The American/English language is confused. That or I am. If I drive a Taxi,
I'm a hack.
If I am smart enough to use a computer> I'm a Hack. If I can read and edit a
book, I'm a hack. If I use an ax, chop a tree? I hacked it. If I have an
allergy? I hacked up a lung.
Before too long Hack will become a sexual encounter? I hacked her!
What's the poem? Something to do with 40 whacks? Or was it hacks?
Sorry, I'm nuts. But I can still hack it! I love the language. Where else
can you say the same word 10 times and still make your point?
=====================================================
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk,
an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a
Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a
Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek and an African went to a night club.
The bouncer said “I’m sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai” !!!!!!!!
===============================================
ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj. Being able to drive and refold a
road map at the same time.
AQUADEXTROUS (AK WA deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the
bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
AQUALIBRIUM (AK WA lib' re um) n. The point where the stream of drinking
fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from
having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.
BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture
and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.
BUZZACKS (buz' aks) n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up
display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones
are not connected.
CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of
running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching
over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the
vacuum one more chance.
DIMP (dimp) n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by
asking, "Do you work here?"
DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on
the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will 'remove' all the
germs.
ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the
rearview mirror.
EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the
movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.
--
http://misfitscafe.com/Bambi/
http://bambislilworld.blogspot.com/
Silence can be Golden, OR Dangerous...
The same Is true with Lies and Deception....
Sorry For Any Repeats
all shares snagged
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