-----Original Message-----
From: Johnny Burgos <[email protected]>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 10 Mar 2011 11:42:30
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: MisfitsCafe.com - Out of the mouths of precious little people !!
LOL...........I love "clean" dirty jokes !!
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> NUDITY
> I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when
> a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was
> stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old
> shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
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> OPINIONS
> On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
> from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child
> are not necessarily those of his parents.'
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> KETCHUP
> A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her
> struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
> the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now.
> She's hitting the bottle.
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> MORE NUDITY
>
> A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
> locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
> ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
> amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a
> little boy before?'
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> ___________________________________
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> POLICE # 1
> While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
> interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at
> my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop?' 'Yes,' I answered and continued
> writing the report. 'My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask
> the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well,
> then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please
> tie my shoe?'
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> POLICE #2
> It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
> station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,
> and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back
> there?' he asked.
> 'It sure is,' I replied.
> Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.
> Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
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> ELDERLY
> While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
> shut-ins, I used to take my 4 year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
> She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
> particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
> staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
> for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
> whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
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> DRESS-UP
> A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
> her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
> suit.'
> 'And why not, darling?'
> 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
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> DEATH
> While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
> heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
> Apparently, his 5 year-old son and his playmates had found a dead
> robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured
> a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the
> disposal of the deceased.
> The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
> sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father
> always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into
> the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
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> ___________________________________
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> SCHOOL
> A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just
> wasting my time ,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't
> write, and they won't let me talk!'
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> ___________________________________
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> BIBLE
> A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he
> fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
> Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old
> leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
> 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
> 'What have you got there, dear?'
> With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's
> Adam's underwear!'
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> Johnny , Erin & Johnathon
God favors NO group... Only religions do that .
May the GREAT SPIRIT always walk with you.
http://MisfitsCafe.com/Johnny
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Johnny , Erin & Johnathon
God favors NO group... Only religions do that .
May the GREAT SPIRIT always walk with you.
http://MisfitsCafe.com/Johnny
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