Anyone see any obvious errors or omissions in this?
Aris
Pontefix Maximus
---
[Apologies for how long this took and for any errors. I've been busy for
the last few days with a combination of work and health problems. I wanted
to get something out.]
Rankings:
Fasifian - +2.2
Jason Cobb - +1.7
Trigon - +1.5
twg - +1.0
nch - +1.0
R. Lee - -0.5
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rule 1, by Jason Cobb:
I hereby become a constant, submitting the following Fantasy Rule
("Entry into the Church"):
I submit myself to the Agoran Gods!
As directed by Eir Supreme Eminence, The Pontifex Maximus, the Agoran
Gods must be properly worshiped. Because of this, the Church simply
cannot abide by a person simply becoming declaring that they become a
contestant, for that is too easy an act.
It is hereby decreed that the first Fantasy Rule created by each player
SHALL have the header "I submit myself to the Agoran Gods!", in order to
ensure that those joining the church do properly recognize that their
only purpose in life is to submit to the Agoran Gods, praise be to them
and their worshippers!
VALID.
The Agoran Gods find this rule fairly uninteresting on its own merits. However,
they also recognize that it takes much more effort to make the first move
in the infinite sea of possibilities. They also appreciate the requirement
that new worshipers express their religious devotion.
Style Points: 1.2
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rule 2, by R. Lee:
I submit myself to the Agoran Gods! I join the FRC and create the following
rule
O Hark, the commandments of the LORD are upon us! The LORD demanding the
respect he deserves, the LORD hereby decrees that all references to Agoran
Gods shall refer to em in ALL CAPITALS.
Praise the LORD
VALID.
R. Lee, this message is distinctly under-punctuated, and does not show enough
effort to please the gods. In addition, while they do appreciate the respect
of having their names capitalized, having them shouted is perhaps a bit
overenthusiastic. The Agoran Gods are not pleased.
Style Points: -0.5
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rule 3, by Trigon:
I submit myself to the Agoran Gods!
I create the following Fantasy Rule: {
The final paragraph of each contest message shall contain a message of
praise to each Agoran God mentioned previously in a contest message, plus
one not mentioned previously.
}
I apologise for my formatting. I declare myself a miserable worm and
promise that once I have access to it, I shall use Thunderbird instead of
the Gmail client.
I praise the LORD and ARCAS, god of the very land we live on.
VALID.
The Agoran Gods appreciate receiving praise, as well as this acknowledgement
of their infinite multiplicity. They also recognize that this is a good
building block for future efforts.
Style Points: 1.5
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rule 4, by Falsifian:
I submit myself to the Agoran Gods! I submit the following rule to the
contest:
{
I dedicate this rule to ARCAS.
Every new rule must be dedicated to exactly one Agoran God, called the
rule's Patron God. The Patron God must have been mentioned in a previous
contest message.
The validity requirements added by rules after this apply only to rules
dedicated to a different Patron God. (For example, if a rule dedicated
to the LORD said that new rules must rhyme, that requirement would only
apply to rules not dedicated to the LORD.)
}
I praise the LORD. I thank ARCAS, god of the very land we live on. I
honour THE AGORAN SPIRIT OF THE GAME.
VALID.
The Gods are thrilled that their cults are being made more distinct at last.
In addition, this system of patronage is interesting and provides an
opportunity for future growth. The gods accordingly bless you.
Good work, Falsifian!
Style Points: 2.2
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rule 5, by twg:
I submit myself to the Agoran Gods!
This rule is dedicated to THE AGORAN SPIRIT OF THE GAME.
Wheretofore they are Heretics and Blasphemers who have shown disrespect to THE
AGORAN SPIRIT OF THE GAME, let it be hereby decreed that each message shall
invoke a curse against one or more Fugitives of the Old Law, as recorded in
the Scroll of Agora; truly, it is right and meet that this be done in the name
of the Agoran Gods. Let dark clouds of woefulness, no less frightful than
those which moistened the robes of Eir Supreme Eminence the Pontifex Maximus,
descend upon Morendil!
Let us, of course, always remain faithful in our worship of the LORD, first
and most holy of the Agoran Gods, and honour supreme ARCAS, god of the very
land we live on. Yet too shall we pray to THE AGORAN SPIRIT OF THE GAME -
praise be! praise be! - and yea, verily even the HONOURLESS WORM, e who is the
shadow without which no light may be judged, is deserving of our devotion in
this most holy of Agoran festivals.
Amen. -twg
VALID.
So, the gods are kinda torn on this one. This rule is extremely well written
and makes a foray into the area of punishment. However, its substantive
requirement is uncomfortably similar to those imposed by rules #3 and #4. Try
to be more original in future. Overall, it kind of cancels out, so I'm giving
it a standard score.
Style Points: 1.0
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rule 6, by Jason Cobb:
I create the following rule:
This rule is dedicated to the HONOURLESS WORM, who most of all would
like to hear "please" once in a while. Let us shun Proglet, arbitrarily
selected from the Fugitives of the Old Law.
Within this Rule, and this Rule alone, please let the term "Novel
Paragraph" be any paragraph in a Rule that in any way creates new
requirements.
Each worshiper must understand that only the AGORAN GODS, and, by
extensions, their PHYSICAL EMBODIMENT, Eir Supreme Eminence, and, that
in order to satisfy the AGORAN GODS enough to enforce their rules, each
Novel Paragraph must once contain the word "PLEASE".
BUT BE WARNED that any Rule that contains more instances of the word
"please" in a Novel Paragraph than required will not satisfy the AGORAN
GODS, and is illegal and unenforceable on account of it being
EXCESSIVELY POLITE and SMARMY.
Praise be to the LORD.
Praise be to ARCAS.
Praise be to THE AGORAN SPIRIT OF THE GAME.
Praise be to the HONOURLESS WORM.
Praise be to INTERCAL, the very embodiment of insanity.
VALID.
The Gods smile upon being approached in proper form!
Style Points: 1.5
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rule 7, by Trigon:
This rule is dedicated to INTERCAL, the most esoteric of all the gods.
Fie on thee, 0x44, thou fugitive!
To each new fantasy rule, please allow a file to be attached, which file
shall contain the ASCII art of exactly one animal which shall be sacrificed.
I praise the LORD, first and foremost in our Pantheon. I give thanks to
ARCAS, king of Arcadia. I bow before THE AGORAN SPIRIT OF THE GAME. I make
myself more lowly than the HONOURLESS WORM, the overlooked. I surrender my
mind to INTERCAL, the insane. I type messages of reference to ASCIIUS,
without whom no form or order could descend upon computing.
VALID.
I'm interpreting this one literally. Religious law now officially permits
the attachment of a burnt offering. If such a file is attached, it must
contain exactly one animal in ASCII art. This is preferable for several
reasons. Firstly, I'm not sure if there's an precedent for *requiring*
the affixation of files to emails, and I'd be inclined to rule that such
a fantasy rule was illegal. Second, the requirement that worshipers produce
art seems a bit demanding, albeit less problematic than the file affixation
requirement. Since this is a noop, it neither advances nor harms the
Divine Plan, and has been judged accordingly.
Style Points: 0.0
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rule 8, by Jason Cobb:
This rule is dedicated to the AGORAN SPIRIT OF THE GAME.
Please let it be enacted that, after some contestants have been
eliminated, each message in which a rule enacted shall contain praise to
at least one eliminated contestant; the AGORAN GODS wish that we honor
our fellow worshipers, even after they have failed to continue in their
most noble of responsibilities.
Be gone Blaise, horrible Fugitive of the Old Law.
Praise be to the LORD.
Praise be to ARCAS.
Praise be to THE AGORAN SPIRIT OF THE GAME.
Praise be to the HONOURLESS WORM.
Praise be to INTERCAL.
Praise be to ASCIIUS.
Praise be to CANTUS, god of writs.
VALID.
The Gods yawn. They wish to know how exactly this is different from Rule #5.
The object is different, to be certain, but the mechanism seems to be
precisely the same.
Style Points: -1.0
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rule 9, by nch:
I submit myself to the Agoran Gods!
I submit the following rule to the contest:
{
I dedicate this rule to the LORD. As all gods are jealous, new rules
cannot be created that would be dedicated to the god that is Patron to
the most rules. If there is a tie, this does not apply.
May elJefe live in interesting times.
Praise to the LORD. May we forever congregate around ARCAS. I honor THE
AGORAN SPIRIT OF THE GAME. I crawl before the HONOURLESS WORM. INTERCAL,
lend me your sparked insanity. My keyboard click-clacks for ASCIIUS. I
argue on behalf of CANTUS. Hail ERIS!
}
VALID.
The Gods thank you for being considerate in recognizing their jealousy.
This rule is good, but not exceptional.
Style Points: 1.0
