Capital Markets, redefined. (",)
-hms- _____ From: Karen Mills [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BROKER -- What my broker has made me. STANDARD &POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock. STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected. MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes ! as it disappears down the toilet. YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. PROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use. [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]