Hi all,
I had visited a place called Vangni near Mumbai recently, where I met so many
visually impaired couples of whom a woman is efficiently managing the entire
household activity round the clock without any assistance or maid.
Their everyday stories are untold just because they cannot well articulate them
or maybe they are not that much educated to write it. But, surely hats off to
those people!. And I think managing their houses in so much of adverse
conditions is more of a challenge than anything else.
Regards,
Surajsingh Jogi,
Complaints management
Dept.,
Kapas Bhawan,
GITC Belapur, Navi Mumbai 400614.
L/l 39367213 Mob. 9930137525
-----Original Message-----
From: Ai [mailto:ai-boun...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in] On Behalf Of
Nippur Jain (????? ???) via Ai
Sent: Monday, July 10, 2017 1:45 PM
To: Share, empower &Enrich
Cc: Nippur Jain (नूपुर जैन)
Subject: Re: [Ai] Maids Matter -An article on challenges of a visually impaired
parent.
House hold work is a team work also in many of the houses.
Employing maids may not afodable for every family.
-----Original Message-----
From: Ai [mailto:ai-boun...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in] On Behalf Of
Kanchan Pamnani via Ai
Sent: Monday, July 10, 2017 1:39 PM
To: 'Share, empower &Enrich'
Cc: Kanchan Pamnani
Subject: Re: [Ai] Maids Matter -An article on challenges of a visually impaired
parent.
Working VIMoms manage the same way as non VI but working moms Rajesh. If you
want a full discussion on this then chat with my mom who was working when I was
growing up and we didn’t have 3 servants.
Payal has captured the problem well.
K
-----Original Message-----
From: Ai [mailto:ai-boun...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in] On Behalf Of
Asudani, Rajesh via Ai
Sent: 10 July 2017 11:40
To: Share, empower &Enrich
Cc: Asudani, Rajesh
Subject: Re: [Ai] Maids Matter -An article on challenges of a visually impaired
parent.
Do people employ maids in UK and other European countries?
If not, how do VI working manage?
-----Original Message-----
From: Ai [mailto:ai-boun...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in] On Behalf Of
Geetha Shamanna via Ai
Sent: Monday, July 10, 2017 12:50 AM
To: 'Share, empower &Enrich'
Cc: Geetha Shamanna
Subject: Re: [Ai] Maids Matter -An article on challenges of a visually impaired
parent.
Hi Payal,
This is commendable indeed. Juggling with maids is not easy at the best of
times, and managing three of them is quite a task if one is visually impaired.
Geetha
-----Original Message-----
From: Ai [mailto:ai-boun...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in] On Behalf Of payal
jethra via Ai
Sent: 02 July 2017 16:07
To: ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
Cc: payal jethra
Subject: [Ai] Maids Matter -An article on challenges of a visually impaired
parent.
Hi All,
Sharing an article on parenting & the challenges faced by a visually impaired
parent…
Happy Reading!
Maids Matter
- By Payal Jethra
BLOGGER
“It is time to celebrate with a Chocó cone!” Both Mother and son sit at the
dining table around 10 in the night and thank God for the end of May and the
beginning of June as they count their blessings reminiscing about how the past
month has gone by peacefully with a few hiccups. The breeze is pleasant ,with a
touch of pre monsoon showers bringing in fresh reasons to celebrate the
beginning of yet another academic year.
A month ago was not so far away when all three of Payal’s maids informed her
one by one that they would be taking off to their respective villages. “You
guys will be allowed to take leave only when you find yourselves a substitute!”
teased Payal. Payal has been living all by herself with her nine year old son
since the past four and a half years after her divorce. Her marriage had been
one of constant bickering and when she could bear the emotional harassment no
more she opted to live a life of peace having accepted total custody of her son
Nihaar. She knew that she had to build up a support system to be able to focus
on her home management, her job and her child’s academic goals. She chose to
have three different maids – Manisha for cleaning the house, Sarita for
managing meals and Satyavati Maushi, an elderly but calm and patient woman for
babysitting her son during the time Payal is at office.
The maids have been with her since the time she began living by herself with
her son. Since the beginning she has been clear about treating the maids well
but keeping money matters separate. The women respect her for her clarity in
thought and instructions. All three maids come and go at regular timings and
are clear about pampering Nihaar but not crossing the line when it comes to
discipline.
Manisha was the first to inform Payal that she would visit her village for the
month of May. “My sister Kavita will work for the time that I am away,”
she said.
“Sure,” remarked Payal, “that’s fine. But I will want her to work only when one
of us is at home, else I want her to come to work after I am back from office.”
Manisha agreed and brought her sister along for a few days before she was to go
on leave so Kavita could get to know about where to find the broom, detergent
powder and other cleaning stuff.
This was the beginning of a month of changes. Mother and son got use to Kavita.
She was a quick and chattery woman, a little less tidy than manisha but very
loving and sincere. Occasionally, she would agree to come around
7 in the evenings to work to suit Payal’s convenience. Payal appreciated that
and compromised on letting her wash clothes the next morning. Nihaar and Kavita
would have a look at Nihaar’s tulsi plant each morning and watch it grow as
they watered it together.
Sareeta, Payal’s cook takes off to her village twice a year – for 10 days
during summer vacations, when her children are on school vacation and August
September during Ganesh Chaturti. This summer she informed she would go from
13th to 23rd May. She had found Harshada, another cook who visits the
neighborhood and convinced her to work in her place for a while. The two had
discussed timings and salary. The only challenge for Payal was to manage lunch
for Harshada, unlike Sareeta would be able to work only during evenings. Up
until this point things seemed manageable for Payal, but when the baby sitter
Satyavati Maushi mentioned she had to visit her native village for a family
wedding, Payal had to take some time to sit down and think through 15 days of
no baby sitter.
She stayed calm for a while and let the news sink in. Then she decided to take
it one day at a time.
Satyavati Maushi will be on leave from 9th through 22nd May. A few days still
seem manageable because Sareeta will be available to handle all meals until the
12th. Being visually challenged, preparing meals, keeping Nihaar’s bowl of mid
morning fruits, a cup of milk and evening snack ready were challenging and
time-consuming kitchen tasks which Payal dreaded. Payal works with a reputed
public sector bank in Mumbai. She intended to use her leaves very cautiously.
She had taken two weeks off during Nihaar’s annual examinations earlier during
the year and could not at this point take leave knowing that there may be rainy
days or trying times ahead which would require her presence at home on a more
urgent basis. The first day she took Nihaar along to office, the second day was
luckily a bank holiday. For the next two days, her friend agreed to come over
and stay until Friday evening when Payal returns from work.
Now, Payal had to think of the week of 15th through 21st May; those were six
working days for Payal.
The two days that Payal’s friend Gratia baby sat Nihaar, the duo had fun
covering and labeling school books for the next year and listening to Radio
Mirchi.
For the morning of 12th May, Payal looked up movies and set up Gratia and
Nihaar for a 9 a.m. Bahubali show.
Payal had been speaking with relatives, cousins, friends and acquaintances
trying to co-ordinate where she could drop off Nihaar for a few days. On the
morning of 13th May, she woke up with tears in her eyes. This was getting
tough, but she had to keep moving or solutions would not work.
She set out with
Nihaar and his bag pack to drop him off to her cousin’s at Thane for the next 4
to 5 days. She spent the entire day with cousins and headed home alone that
night. Nihaar had agreed to go not because there were cousins of his age, but
because Payal assured him they could speak on phone any time during the day
whenever he wished. She took the few days to get the house in order during the
time that Nihaar was at Thane. Her chachi and cousin had positive things to say
about Nihaar’s stay at their place; that he had been eating well, keeping his
clothes in order and sleeping at good timings. This made Payal feel very
content that her efforts with Nihaar are showing desirable results.
Payal had both substitute maids visiting during the evenings since Nihaar was
away. On Wednesday, 17th May, the decision was made to bring Nihaar home.
Chachi and cousins and family were to go outstation and Payal knew she had to
take responsibility at this point. She took the day off from work and had a
delightful lunch with her cousin once again thanking Chachi and family for
being a part of the blessings in their lives. That evening at home, Nihaar sat
at the kitchen counter assisting the substitute Harshada cook about where
masalas and all ingredients are kept. Payal had come to depend on Sarreeta so
much that she herself had to put in effort to recall where pulses are kept and
what was in stock. Now, she was in a way relieved for Nihaar enjoyed handling
that bit. They had a delightful dinner together as Payal left thoughts of how
to get through the next 5 days, to God and cuddled into bed with Nihaar.
“Mom!” cried Nihaar in delight, “wait till the Maushis return to see how well
our Tulsi plant has grown, especially Manisha Maushi, she will be returning
after a month!” jumped Nihaar out of bed the next morning.
Payal was chatting on phone with her sister about happenings when Kanchan
mentioned that she would be travelling but that it might be a good idea for
Nihaar to spend a few days with his cousin sister and cousin brother at her
place nevertheless. Payal thanked her and co-ordinated timings with her
brother-in-law so Nihaar could be picked up from Payal’s place at a mutually
convenient time and dropped off on Saturday evening. There the three of them
enjoyed board games and playing UNO cards. Nihaar returned home once again to
give his Mom a big hug.
Payal and Nihaar had gotten through the most challenging two weeks with the
cook and baby sitter away during the same time. Payal had been clear about
taking leave only when necessary and she had gotten through these two weeks
with only one leave which was an achievement for her. She was also determined
that she would handle the situation only if it worked “win-win”, no pushing or
inconveniencing people to make convenient accommodation for Nihaar.
And today was their day! Satyavati maushi and Sareeta were back.
Kavita was still working in place of Manisha and it was only a matter of days
when Manisha too would be back to “see how tall the Tulsi had grown this
summer!”
https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/memoirs-of-a-single-parent/article/maids-matter
Cheers!
Payal Jethra
Phone: 7303448295
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