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-----Original Message-----
From: Ai [mailto:ai-boun...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in] On Behalf Of
Kotian, H P via Ai
Sent: 04 August 2017 14:32
To: Share, empower &Enrich
Cc: Kotian, H P
Subject: Re: [Ai] Question about dealing with parents having a regressive
view about the capabilities of the disabled

Hi Rahul

This may not work in all situations, however, a slow and steady approach
generally works.
You can take up 1 milestones at a time. The greater success that you can
bring about will increase the comfort level in your parents mind and you
also need to assert at times.

You may sometimes take up something in which you provide little info and
tell them in detail once being successful. However, you need to be very
careful that you don't do anything rash and it would jeopodise future
ventures.

You need not always be the best kid in town.
 
Harish.

-----Original Message-----
From: Ai [mailto:ai-boun...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in] On Behalf Of
Rahul Bajaj via Ai
Sent: Friday, August 4, 2017 1:12 PM
To: ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
Cc: Rahul Bajaj <rahul.bajaj10...@gmail.com>
Subject: [Ai] Question about dealing with parents having a regressive view
about the capabilities of the disabled

Hi Everyone,

I hope this message finds you well.
At the outset, let me clarify that this question may or may not have
anything to do with my own personal experiences, so I'd appreciate it if the
aim of the conversation could be to understand this phenomenon in general
terms as opposed to focusing too much on my own situation.

While a lot of us focus on the importance of sensitizing various
stakeholders, such as employers, academic institutions and others about the
capabilities of the disabled, few focus on the discrimination that the
disabled face in their own homes due to the view that their own family has
about their capabilities or potential.
More specifically, if one has a parent who is unwilling to learn from the
experiences of other blind people and give their disabled child the freedom
that we all deserve, to what extent should one follow what such a parent
says?
Further, while safety is doubtless important, if the disabled person has the
requisite maturity to ascertain if they will be safe in a given environment,
should they act as per their own assessment or follow what their parent is
saying, in the fear of alienating them?
I think there are many emotional forces at play in a family setting that may
not be involved in other settings. For instance, one often hears of parents
emotionally blackmailing their children into acting the way they want
without recognizing that this may not be in the child's best interest.
Finally, what makes the situation worse is the fact that the external world
[friends and wellwishers] is also often apprehensive to interfere in these
matters on behalf of the disabled person on the ground that this is an
internal family matter, so that makes it significantly harder for the
disabled person to fully assert himself/herself.

If any of you have dealt with the above, I'd be curious to know what you
think about these issues.
I am mindful of the fact that not many people would be open to discussing
this on a public forum, so please feel free to mail me off-list about this.
Further, not many may see this as a problem, given how  accustomed they are
to succumbing to their parents' wishes, no matter how uninformed and
inappropriate those wishes may be.

Best,
Rahul
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