Really true. Problem starts from not holding stick or feeling bad in holding it. ----- Original Message ----- From: "vivek doddamani via Ai" <ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in>
To: "Share, empower &Enrich" <ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in>
Cc: "vivek doddamani" <vivekka...@gmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, August 10, 2017 11:47 AM
Subject: Re: [Ai] Question about dealing with parents having a regressive view about the capabilities of the disabled


here one thing everybody should understand if we hold white cane in
your hand anybody will come forward to help you, this I have noticed
in Delhi & bangalore, but unfortunately many totally blind persons are
also hesitating to hold white cane, one best example i came across on
9th August 2017 that is yesterday while crossing in ITO area of Delhi
I was holding white cane to cross the road a auto driver who was
waiting for passanger he himself came forward and helped me to cross
one of the busiest road of Delhi,, for poor blind persons white cane
is the only escort,

On 8/9/17, Asudani, Rajesh via Ai <ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in> wrote:
A totally blind person's dependence,  or call it interdependence is more
than an average sighted person's.
If anybody lives in denial, I cannot help it.

You get many kinds of cheap labour only because India is poor.
But it does not negate the need for such labour.

The case in point is how to convince reluctant parents that a totally blind person can travel safely, sometimes all alone, at other times with reliable
assistance, but not necessarily of parents' choice.


-----Original Message-----
From: Ai [mailto:ai-boun...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in] On Behalf Of
avinash shahi via Ai
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2017 4:36 PM
To: Share, empower &Enrich
Cc: avinash shahi
Subject: Re: [Ai] Question about dealing with parents having a regressive
view about the capabilities of the disabled

As Mr Galani said: "Dependence is not undignified" I agree and I
believe in the practical notion of interdependence. We all whether
disabled or non-disabled are interdependent beings. But being a
disabled, accompanying escort certainly brings many uncomfortable
gazes about ones abilities  and capabilities. I often wonder if India
was a rich developed country could blind people had afford escorts?
I've no qualm in writing on publick platform, its a blessing for blind
people that India is a poor country where cheap labour is available in
abundance. So if you're blind and you've job and little bit money you
can hire less educated, semi/unskilled attendant. Otherwise in the
fast growing world no one has time to say hy to non-disabled let alone
blind people. So poverty of others is a critical constituency which
enables blind people to take escort along. Otherwise, how many car
walas come out of their cars and help blind individuals? its rikshaw
pullers and auto wala uncles and near/distant relatives who are less
educated and out of formal job become escort.




On 8/8/17, Asudani, Rajesh via Ai <ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in>
wrote:
Well, could not fully comprehend scholarly language.
But what I understood is that dependence is  undignified.
So, be it, rather than risking unruly traffic and people.

Escort is not there to be interested in the activity or seminar I am
attending, but to catter to my needs arising out of my blindness.

Balanced way is to take help, wherever necessary.
Necessity may differ with background, specific situation and   monetary
capacity.


-----Original Message-----
From: Ai [mailto:ai-boun...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in] On Behalf Of
avinash shahi via Ai
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2017 11:46 AM
To: Share, empower &Enrich
Cc: avinash shahi
Subject: Re: [Ai] Question about dealing with parents having a regressive
view about the capabilities of the disabled

Just sharing a sentence from a working paper which I've cited for
publication consideration.  Colrege: (1999) while commenting about
youth with disabilities writes: 'what are the markers of being an
adult for an individual with disabilities, who is regarded as
dependent, in need of care and overprotected' (cited in Singal, 2008).
Now questions arise: In a growing age of hyper capitalism and
individual excellence,does dependence entails any degree of dignity?
And on a moral ground  should our conscience allow us to always
accompany escort if he/she is not at all interested in the events
we're to attend? I've been to many seminars/conferences in Indian
cities and have found that many educated blind people bring escorts
who're least interested for the seminar. And then they demand
reimbursement for their travel cost on account of their blindness.
This is the reason the Indian Council of Social Science Research and
Council of Historical Research resist from funding blind people cause
they don't only seek funding for their travel cost but their escorts
also.
 On 8/8/17, Asudani, Rajesh via Ai <ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in>
wrote:
If the poor blind venture out unescorted out of compulsion, it is not
the
way out.


-----Original Message-----
From: Ai [mailto:ai-boun...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in] On Behalf
Of
Vidhya Y via Ai
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2017 10:37 AM
To: Share, empower &Enrich
Cc: Vidhya Y
Subject: Re: [Ai] Question about dealing with parents having a
regressive
view about the capabilities of the disabled

completely agree with Avinash.

On 8/8/17, Mahendra Galani via Ai <ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in>
wrote:
i agree with Avinash.
At 03:24 PM 8/7/2017 +0530, you wrote:
Without offending anyone, I believe that poverty is a great enabler if
one is totally blind. My friends who travel by bus/metro/train  are
more assertive/independent while negotiating challenges than those who
travel by car/airplane. I'd be happy if someone could disapprove this
hypotheses. English-speaking blind individuals may be good at
delivering lectures/talking worldly affairs, but non-English blind
individuals are good at living independently.poor blind individual is
more likely to marry a blind girl; the rich blind individual however
goes for a sighted one. Why, cause a poor blind is more confident
that he/she will be able to take on challenges as blind couple.


 On 8/7/17, Asudani, Rajesh via Ai
<ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in> wrote:
> Had not thought to write, since it is a very tricky question and
> there
> is a
> very fine line of distinction between being concerned and being
> overprotective when it comes to children with disabilities.
> Being one of the five siblings with blindness in my family, I have
> experienced all the methods suggested here for gaining a reasonable
> degree
> of independence.
>
> Let me clarify I am not a votary of hyper independence.
> As I had said about six years back in retina India controversy,
An escort is
> a necessity for a totally blind person, if it is available,
> affordable
> and
> there are no privacy concerns.
> It however does not mean a blind person cannot and should not > travel
> alone
> at all.
>
> Now, the big question is who that escort should be.
> If friends, then they must be reliable friends.
> Not only that, It should be brought home to parents that the > friends
> are
> reliable.
> Besides, if hired escort is available, why not, since we can have
> better
> control over a person we are paying.
>
> Escorting from a distance may also be tried, just to keep out of
harm's way,
> as I am fond of saying, it does not take even half an  accident
> to......
>
>
> Rajesh
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Ai [mailto:ai-boun...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in] On
> Behalf
> Of
> Shireen Irani via Ai
> Sent: Monday, August 07, 2017 1:57 PM
> To: Share, empower &Enrich
> Cc: Shireen Irani
> Subject: Re: [Ai] Question about dealing with parents having a
> regressive
> view about the capabilities of the disabled
>
> hi rahul,
>
> since you are sort of trying to come to terms with adopting not > very
> comfortable means as a last resort, I'm gonna suggest 1 last 1, and
> then you could choose the safer option from the 2.
>
> what if a few of us, perhaps your friends, and a couple of seniors
> from the community, meet with your parent/s, and sit for a couple > of > hours trying to reason things out with them? I know it might sound > a
> bit intrusive, but again, in my experience a calm conversation with
> outsiders is sometimes more effective for changing minds, because 1
> gets used to not taking home members too seriously with issues
> related
> to change. I think you mentioned that the parent in question lives
> in
> a different city? in which case we could either wait till they're
> all
> in the same city at some point, or gather a team from the city > where
> he resides.
>
> do think about it, it may not be as bad as what you might instantly
> imagine. and you may not have much to loos, even if there's no
> success. but I'm reasonably confident that there may be some hope
> for
> change.
>
> again, this is just 1 of many suggestions, without meaning to be
> intrusive.
>
> best,
>
> Shireen.
>
>
> On 8/7/17, George Abraham via Ai
> <ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in>
> wrote:
>> One more small point. Unless one is financial independent can one
>> take
>> such
>> a stand with the parents. This is true for even non disabled
>> children.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Ai [mailto:ai-boun...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in] On
>> Behalf
>> Of
>> Kanchan Pamnani via Ai
>> Sent: 05 August 2017 17:16
>> To: 'Share, empower &Enrich'
>> Cc: Kanchan Pamnani
>> Subject: Re: [Ai] Question about dealing with parents having a
>> regressive
>> view about the capabilities of the disabled
>>
>> Rahul,
>> You cannot execute and then inform if you want to travel.
>> Plan well  without informing your parents. Only inform them when
>> you
>> are
>> absolutely sure.
>> Your words should be that "I am going to x place with ABC on Date
>> by
>> flight
>> or train". Don't ask them just matter of fact tell them. Don't ask
>> for
>> money. This trip you have to do with your saved finances.
>> It is best to give them full details when you tell them. Make a
>> small
>> itenary - Date of travel,how, from where to where.
>> Where are you staying and the phone no of the place with address.
>> This
>> may
>> sound silly in the days of mobile when they can reach you >> directly.
>> However
>> it helps them calm down because there will be many times you will
>> not
>> pick
>> up your mobile.
>> I had a loving father but a very concerned one. So I dealt with >> him
>> properly. I gave him the full information and had answers for
>> everything
>> he
>> may have asked me. My dad was a lawyer and you know and I knew how
>> many
>> questions I had to answer. However I went for everything I wanted
>> to-including holidays with friends. It helps if your folks know
>> your
>> friends. I always invited my friends home so there was a feeling >> of
>> trust.
>> Also I must tell you that until my Dad was alive I got a call >> every
>> night
>> even when I went to Delhi for one night. He did not care what I >> was
>> doing
>> so
>> I could have been in my hotel room or at a bar. He just wanted to
>> hear
>> my
>> voice at 10pm before he fell asleep. I used to get irritated
>> because
>> I
>> would
>> think what if something happened to me at 11pm and he could not
>> take
>> care
>> of
>> me. Once I was in Connought Place with 2 friends  both sighted.
>> Both
>> my
>> age.
>> Arun was married and in fact a grandfather. He too got a call from
>> his
>> father while we were having dinner. Ayesha is a Senior Journalist
>> and
>> lives
>> in Delhi. She too got a call from her mother. So calm down parents
>> will
>> be
>> parents.
>> Don't do something stupid because then they will hold it over your
>> head
>> forever.
>> A lot of people on this group drink extensively. Its not really a
>> nice
>> scene
>> when you have a drunk blind person who needs help. Word does reach
>> parents.
>>
>> The last thing I would suggest is try to be as independent as
>> possible.
>> Handle your packing personally and don't ask for help when you are
>> dealing
>> with your personal things.
>> Assert yourself but do it maturely.
>> Kanchan
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Ai [mailto:ai-boun...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in] On
>> Behalf
>> Of
>> Rahul Bajaj via Ai
>> Sent: 05 August 2017 16:34
>> To: Share, empower &Enrich
>> Cc: Rahul Bajaj
>> Subject: Re: [Ai] Question about dealing with parents having a
>> regressive
>> view about the capabilities of the disabled
>>
>> Thanks again.
>> Geetha, I agree with you that absolute independence is >> undesirable,
>> but
>> what
>> we are talking here about is reasonable independence. When >> offered
>> the
>> possibility of travelling with a friend, the parent says that
>> friends
>> are
>> likely to abandon you in case any problem arises. Only family
>> members
>> or
>> servants can be trusted.
>> When asked to seek advice and support from orgs like Enable India,
>> the
>> parent says that those support systems exist for those who cannot
>> afford
>> personal servants. They are of no use to someone who can afford
>> personal
>> helpers.
>>
>> The approach outlined by Shireen, though difficult, then remains
>> the
>> only
>> solution. Shireen, if one wants to travel alone/with a friend, and
>> one
>> is
>> living with one parent who will inform the unreasonable parent
>> about
>> everything, how can one adopt the strategy of executing and then
>> informing?
>>
>>
>> Best,
>> Rahul
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>>> On Aug 5, 2017, at 12:53 PM, Shireen Irani via Ai
>> <ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in> wrote:
>>>
>>> hi Rahul,
>>>
>>> most of what i wish to say has been said already, but I'd like to
>>> reiterate a couple of things that i think are imperative,
>>> regardless
>>> of the temporary discomfort they may cause in the relationship.
>>>
>>> as an adult, whether disabled or not, 1 needs to put one's foot
>>> down,
>>> and have the free will to decide one's own actions with total
>>> responsibility for them. parents often find that difficult to
>>> accept,
>>> partly for control, and partly because of their fear of being  of
>>> no
>>> need to the child any more. so if there's no room for a calm
>>> conversation, one can make one's decisions and break it to them
>>> immediately before, or after you start executing it. even the
>>> language
>>> you use needs to be assertive and firm,  reassuring them that you
>>> do
>>> love and respect them, but  these are a few things that you will
>>> not
>>> allow them to control, because  they are now yours to take charge
>>> of.
>>> this is also when you ask them: what they think you will do, >>> once >>> they're not around any more to protect you from the big bad >>> world.
>>> we
>>> know of countless stories of parents who threaten to harm
>>> themselves
>>> in cases of their children marrying against the parents wishes,
>>> but
>>> after a few months it all defuses and the family is 1 again. so
>>> particularly with emotional blackmail, I know it sounds
>>> unpleasant,
>>> but it is best to assert, that you will not be deterred by any
>>> such
>>> threats.
>>> the way to balance things out could be to show them that you'd
>>> love
>>> their intervention in certain areas, but not in a few others.
>>>
>>> also, it really does help even if in tiny ways, for them to see
>>> other
>>> blind people moving around more independently. so wherever
>>> possible,
>>> do invite a friend over, introduce them to your parents, and then
>>> perhaps spontaneously decide to venture out on your own, the 2 of
>>> you,
>>> without opportunity for any further discussion on the matter.
>>> finally, I think financial independence, and your ability to
>>> manage
>>> your own finances without their help, and also contributing
>>> towards
>>> the running of the house, usually goes a long way as a sign of
>>> your
>>> independent adulthood. if you can politely deny any1 else's help/
>>> control in financial matters, and then prove your efficiency with
>>> wise
>>> money management, then it becomes    relatively easier to assert
>>> your
>>> independence  in other areas.
>>> of course your own confidence and ability is paramount before you
>>> take
>>> such steps.
>>>
>>> what I'd emphasise the most in all this is, do not give in to
>>> emotional blackmail!! just do not.
>>> prepare yourself for some temporary strain, and look forward to a
>>> healthier and more meaningful future with your family.
>>>
>>> best,
>>>
>>> Shireen.
>>>
>>>
>>>> On 8/5/17, Rahul Bajaj via Ai
>>>> <ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in>
>> wrote:
>>>> Thanks, Alok. I agree that the anxiety and fear of the parent
>>>> here
>>>> is
>>>> divorced from the actual capabilities of the disabled person.
>>>> Such blind resistance to accepting the proposition that  the
>>>> blind
>>>> person has to be given space to grow and make their own mistakes
>>>> is
>>>> what creates an impasse.
>>>> If a blind adult is told that they will always need an escort,
>>>> but
>>>> the only difference will be that the escort will be their wife
>>>> instead of their mother in future, that reflects the parent's
>>>> absolute failure to understand the other person's perspective.
>>>>
>>>> I think the suggestions that you have offered are very helpful.
>>>> However, they nonetheless presuppose that the parent is willing
>>>> to
>>>> engage in a calm conversation with a semi open mind. The
>>>> fundamental
>>>> problem here is that that also is not true most of the time.
>>>> The disabled person is told that the parent will start stepping
>>>> back
>>>> when the disabled person acquires the requisite independence.
>>>> When
>>>> asked to outline the criteria based on which the parent will be
>>>> able
>>>> to say that the child has reached that level, the parent becomes
>>>> confrontational and states that the disabled person has not seen
>>>> the
>>>> darker side of the world yet.
>>>>
>>>> Best,
>>>> Rahul
>>>>
>>>>> On 05/08/2017, Alok Kaushik <alok.li...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> Hi Rahul,
>>>>> What you have mentioned suggests that the  fundamental issue is
>>>>> not
>>>>> about the capabilities of the visually impaired person and
>>>>> parent's
>>>>> comfort level with it but a limitation that the parent himself >>>>> /
>>>>> herself  is facing in terms  of handling the situation if
>>>>> something
>>>>> goes wrong. He / she has  a fixed  idea that he / she is
>>>>> responsible
>>>>> for  the  VI person, and  hence has  to take decisions.
>>>>>
>>>>> This is a  more  difficult scenario to deal  with because it is
>>>>> not
>>>>> about VI person's but  their notions of  their own limitations
>>>>> and
>>>>> responsibilities.
>>>>> In such a case while  demonstrating your capabilities is
>>>>> important,
>>>>> it is equally important to relieve them of  the burden of  that
>>>>> sense of responsibility and limitation. This would  especially
>>>>> be
>>>>> relevant in case of single parents, and also in scenarios >>>>> in
>>>>> which parents consider themselves to be socially answerable if
>>>>> anything
>> goes wrong.
>>>>>
>>>>> It would be important to make  them  understand that their
>>>>> support
>>>>> would not  be everlasting, and  their help  is needed to make
>>>>> oneself independent, if they really want him / her to live >>>>> well.
>>>>> They can  better help adapt, practice, and achieve  a  high
>>>>> level
>>>>> of
>>>>> comfort while they can still support . One saying  that I often
>>>>> use
>>>>> to  quote is "You give your  son a  fish, he eats today. You
>>>>> teach
>>>>> him how to fish, he eats every day.".
>>>>>
>>>>> I  have also seen some parents say that you can do whatever you
>>>>> want
>>>>> after us but not while we are still around. This again >>>>> reflects
>>>>> that the focus of their thinking is not really the limitations
>>>>> of
>>>>> the visually impaired person but their own limitations.
>>>>>
>>>>> One may have to  make  the parents realize they have a  support
>>>>> system to handle any situation. And also, it needs to come >>>>> out
>>>>> in
>>>>> one's communication that he / she is now prepared to take on >>>>> the
>>>>> responsibilities of his / her actions.
>>>>>
>>>>> I would like to reiterate that patience is still the key. >>>>> If
>>>>> one really intends to  be  independent, it would eventually
>>>>> happen.
>>>>> In fact at some point being independent would be a >>>>> requirement
>>>>> whether one wants to or not.
>>>>>
>>>>> Thanks.
>>>>> Alok
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: Rahul Bajaj [mailto:rahul.bajaj10...@gmail.com]
>>>>> Sent: Friday, August 04, 2017 9:16 PM
>>>>> To: Share, empower &Enrich
>>>>> Cc: Alok Kaushik
>>>>> Subject: Re: [Ai] Question about dealing with parents having a
>>>>> regressive view about the capabilities of the disabled
>>>>>
>>>>> Thank you, everyone. Your responses are very insightful and
>> informative.
>>>>>
>>>>> Alok, I agree with you that one has to strive to avoid either >>>>> of
>>>>> those extremes. However, all these suggestions operate on the
>>>>> premise that the parent in question is reasonable and willing >>>>> to
>>>>> change their views based on changing circumstances. I am afraid
>>>>> that
>>>>> is not always the case. Some parents cannot be reasoned with >>>>> and
>>>>> offer you a choice between not doing something and doing it as
>>>>> per
>>>>> their own unreasonable terms. What choice is one left with in
>>>>> such
>>>>> cases?
>>>>> Further, while the incremental approach works best, that cannot
>>>>> address a parent's unfounded fear that something horrible will
>>>>> happen.
>>>>> Finally, if a parent is blackmailing a child into not doing
>>>>> something or doing it in a very different way from what the
>>>>> child
>>>>> wants without even articulating genuine safety concerns that
>>>>> make
>>>>> them wary, what should one do?
>>>>>
>>>>> Best,
>>>>> Rahul
>>>>>
>>>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>>>>
>>>>>> On Aug 4, 2017, at 2:36 PM, Alok Kaushik via Ai
>>>>>> <ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Hi Rahul,
>>>>>> You have  brought  up a very relevant subject. Although I
>>>>>> always
>>>>>> had a very understanding family, I  also had  to experience  a
>>>>>> phase  in which the family members had to  be  brought  to a
>>>>>> certain comfort level. I never faced any restrictions but
>>>>>> additional comfort level had to be developed, and I can easily
>>>>>> observe the change in level of comfort and confidence they >>>>>> now
>>>>>> have.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Besides that I have also seen several cases around me, in >>>>>> which
>>>>>> similar issues as  mentioned  by you were present. Here are my
>>>>>> observations and thoughts.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I do not think that  any organization or friend will  be able
>>>>>> to
>>>>>> make a decisive impact on the  thinking of  parents / family
>>>>>> members just by telling them about some of the other people >>>>>> who
>>>>>> have been able to do much more. It largely depends on how much
>>>>>> drive the visually impaired person himself / herself has to
>>>>>> become
>>>>>> independent, and how effectively that is expressed.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> One of the main reasons of the parents is the safety >>>>>> concern.
>>>>>> One
>>>>>> still needs to take a decision to go ahead and do things but
>>>>>> taking some measures could help understand the parents that he
>>>>>> /
>>>>>> she is not reckless about the safety. For example, one can
>>>>>> share
>>>>>> the taxi number while travelling outside at home, it
>>>>>> communicates
>>>>>> the same message, while being an actual safety measure. >>>>>> Letting
>>>>>> the
>>>>>> family members know when to expect you back home realistically
>>>>>> would provide them extra comfort. These actions are simply
>>>>>> related
>>>>>> to information sharing and do  not necessarily restricts
>>>>>> oneself.
>>>>>> This goes a long way in  developing a comfort level without
>>>>>> creating any friction in the relationship.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Besides moving outdoors,  if  there are other things that one
>>>>>> is
>>>>>> looking to do but is facing restrictive approach, comfort >>>>>> level
>>>>>> can
>>>>>> best be created by generating opportunities to demonstrate >>>>>> that
>>>>>> one
>>>>>> would  be happy doing such a task  and  can do it.
>>>>>> Communicating
>>>>>> that he / she would definitely ask for  help if  needed is
>>>>>> also
>>>>>> very effective. There  is no better conviction then actually
>>>>>> seeing
>>>>>> a person doing something.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> A few  things that we need  to keep in mind is that we
>>>>>> ourselves
>>>>>> need to be patient while persisting with the  effort to
>>>>>> demonstrate
>>>>>> and develop and  confidence  in others. It will  take  some
>>>>>> time
>>>>>> and  repeated observations by others before their  scepticism
>>>>>> could
>>>>>> change to conviction.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> It is possible that one may have to be more  assertive at
>>>>>> times,
>>>>>> but it would be good to balance it out rather quickly to avoid
>>>>>> any
>>>>>> negative effect on the relationship. Underlying feeling behind
>>>>>> the
>>>>>> assertiveness needs to be that of confidence and not >>>>>> disregard.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Of course  there would  be two extremes, one in which a person
>>>>>> chooses to enjoy the convenience that a protective environment
>>>>>> offers, which comes back and bites hard once that >>>>>> supportive
>>>>>> environment collapses or dents, or in other  in which a person
>>>>>> becomes a rebel, gains the independence and the relationships
>>>>>> languishes.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> My thoughts are to bring about a change while sustaining good
>>>>>> relationships.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Thanks.
>>>>>> Alok
>>>>>>
>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>> From: Ai [mailto:ai-boun...@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in] >>>>>> On
>>>>>> Behalf Of Rahul Bajaj via Ai
>>>>>> Sent: Friday, August 04, 2017 1:12 PM
>>>>>> To: ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
>>>>>> Cc: Rahul Bajaj
>>>>>> Subject: [Ai] Question about dealing with parents having a
>>>>>> regressive view about the capabilities of the disabled
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Hi Everyone,
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I hope this message finds you well.
>>>>>> At the outset, let me clarify that this question may or may >>>>>> not
>>>>>> have anything to do with my own personal experiences, so I'd
>>>>>> appreciate it if the aim of the conversation could be to
>>>>>> understand
>>>>>> this phenomenon in general terms as opposed to focusing too
>>>>>> much
>>>>>> on
>>>>>> my
>> own situation.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> While a lot of us focus on the importance of sensitizing
>>>>>> various
>>>>>> stakeholders, such as employers, academic institutions and
>>>>>> others
>>>>>> about the capabilities of the disabled, few focus on the
>>>>>> discrimination that the disabled face in their own homes due >>>>>> to
>>>>>> the
>>>>>> view that their own family has about their capabilities or
>>>>>> potential.
>>>>>> More specifically, if one has a parent who is unwilling to
>>>>>> learn
>>>>>> from the experiences of other blind people and give their
>>>>>> disabled
>>>>>> child the freedom that we all deserve, to what extent should
>>>>>> one
>>>>>> follow what such a parent says?
>>>>>> Further, while safety is doubtless important, if the disabled
>>>>>> person has the requisite maturity to ascertain if they will be
>>>>>> safe
>>>>>> in a given environment, should they act as per their own
>>>>>> assessment
>>>>>> or follow what their parent is saying, in the fear of
>>>>>> alienating
>>>>>> them?
>>>>>> I think there are many emotional forces at play in a family
>>>>>> setting
>>>>>> that may not be involved in other settings. For instance, one
>>>>>> often
>>>>>> hears of parents emotionally blackmailing their children into
>>>>>> acting the way they want without recognizing that this may not
>>>>>> be
>>>>>> in the child's best interest.
>>>>>> Finally, what makes the situation worse is the fact that the
>>>>>> external world [friends and wellwishers] is also often
>>>>>> apprehensive
>>>>>> to interfere in these matters on behalf of the disabled person
>>>>>> on
>>>>>> the ground that this is an internal family matter, so that
>>>>>> makes
>>>>>> it
>>>>>> significantly harder for the disabled person to fully assert
>>>>>> himself/herself.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> If any of you have dealt with the above, I'd be curious to >>>>>> know
>>>>>> what you think about these issues.
>>>>>> I am mindful of the fact that not many people would be open to
>>>>>> discussing this on a public forum, so please feel free to mail
>>>>>> me
>>>>>> off-list about this. Further, not many may see this as a
>>>>>> problem,
>>>>>> given how  accustomed they are to succumbing to their parents'
>>>>>> wishes, no matter how uninformed and inappropriate those >>>>>> wishes
>>>>>> may
>> be.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Best,
>>>>>> Rahul
>>>>>> Disclaimer:
>>>>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the
>>>>>> thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way
>>>>>> relates
>>>>>> itself to its veracity;
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based
>>>>>> on
>>>>>> the mails sent through this mailing list..
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> To check if the post reached the list or to search for old
>>>>>> posting,
>>>>>> reach:
>>>>>> https://www.mail-archive.com/ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mai
>>>>>> lli st.html _______________________________________________
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Ai mailing list
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>>>>>> http://accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mailman/listinfo/ai
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Disclaimer:
>>>>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the
>>>>>> thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way
>>>>>> relates
>>>>>> itself to its veracity;
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based
>>>>>> on
>>>>>> the mails sent through this mailing list..
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> To check if the post reached the list or to search for old
>>>>>> posting,
>>>>>> reach:
>>>>>> https://www.mail-archive.com/ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mai
>>>>>> lli st.html _______________________________________________
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Ai mailing list
>>>>>> Ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
>>>>>> http://accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mailman/listinfo/ai
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>> Disclaimer:
>>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the
>>>> thinking
>>>> of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself >>>> to
>>>> its
>>>> veracity;
>>>>
>>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on
>>>> the
>>>> mails sent through this mailing list..
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> To check if the post reached the list or to search for old
>>>> posting,
>> reach:
>>>> https://www.mail-archive.com/ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/maill
>>>> ist.html _______________________________________________
>>>>
>>>>
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>>>>
>>> Disclaimer:
>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the
>>> thinking
>>> of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to
>>> its
>>> veracity;
>>>
>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on
>>> the
>> mails
>> sent through this mailing list..
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> To check if the post reached the list or to search for old
>>> posting,
>> reach:
>>> https://www.mail-archive.com/ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mailli
>>> st.html _______________________________________________
>>>
>>>
>>> Ai mailing list
>>> Ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
>>> http://accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mailman/listinfo/ai
>> Disclaimer:
>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the
>> thinking
>> of
>> the
>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its
>> veracity;
>>
>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on
>> the
>> mails
>> sent through this mailing list..
>>
>>
>>
>> To check if the post reached the list or to search for old >> posting,
>> reach:
>>
https://www.mail-archive.com/ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/maillist.ht
>> m
>> l
>> _______________________________________________
>>
>>
>> Ai mailing list
>> Ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
>> http://accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mailman/listinfo/ai
>>
>> Disclaimer:
>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the
>> thinking
>> of
>> the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its
>> veracity;
>>
>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on
>> the
>> mails
>> sent through this mailing list..
>>
>>
>>
>> To check if the post reached the list or to search for old >> posting,
>> reach:
>>
https://www.mail-archive.com/ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/maillist.ht
>> ml
>> _______________________________________________
>>
>>
>> Ai mailing list
>> Ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
>> http://accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mailman/listinfo/ai
>>
>> Disclaimer:
>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the
>> thinking
>> of
>> the
>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its
>> veracity;
>>
>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on
>> the
>> mails
>> sent through this mailing list..
>>
>>
>>
>> To check if the post reached the list or to search for old >> posting,
>> reach:
>>
https://www.mail-archive.com/ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/maillist.html
>> _______________________________________________
>>
>>
>> Ai mailing list
>> Ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
>> http://accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mailman/listinfo/ai
>>
> Disclaimer:
> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the
thinking of the
> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its
> veracity;
>
> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on > the
> mails
> sent through this mailing list..
>
>
>
> To check if the post reached the list or to search for old posting,
> reach:
>
https://www.mail-archive.com/ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/maillist.html
> _______________________________________________
>
>
> Ai mailing list
> Ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
> http://accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mailman/listinfo/ai
>
> ________________________________
>
> Caution: The Reserve Bank of India never sends mails, SMSs or makes
> calls
> asking for personal information such as your bank account details,
> passwords, etc. It never keeps or offers funds to anyone. Please do
> not
> respond in any manner to such offers, however official or > attractive
> they
> may look.
>
>
> Notice: This email and any files transmitted with it are
> confidential
> and
> intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom > they
> are
> addressed. If you are not the intended recipient, any > dissemination,
> use,
> review, distribution, printing or copying of the information
> contained
> in
> this e-mail message and/or attachments to it are strictly
prohibited. If you
> have received this email by error, please notify us by return > e-mail
> or
> telephone and immediately and permanently delete the message and > any
> attachments. The recipient should check this email and any
> attachments
> for
> the presence of viruses. The Reserve Bank of India accepts no
> liability
> for
> any damage caused by any virus transmitted by this email.
> Disclaimer:
> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the
thinking of the
> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its
> veracity;
>
> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on > the
> mails
> sent through this mailing list..
>
>
>
> To check if the post reached the list or to search for old posting,
> reach:
>
https://www.mail-archive.com/ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/maillist.html
> _______________________________________________
>
>
> Ai mailing list
> Ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
> http://accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mailman/listinfo/ai
>


--
Avinash Shahi
Doctoral student at Centre for Law and Governance JNU
Disclaimer:
1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the
thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates
itself to its veracity;

2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the
mails sent through this mailing list..



To check if the post reached the list or to search for old posting,
reach:
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_______________________________________________


Ai mailing list
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with warm regards
Mahendra Galani
Whatsapp/Viber/Skype/Imo/Facetime +43 699 174 555 95
Festnetz +43 1 961 77 47
Addresse, Arneth gasse 45/2/2
1160 Vienna, Austria, Europe



Disclaimer:
1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking
of
the
person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its
veracity;

2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the
mails
sent through this mailing list..



To check if the post reached the list or to search for old posting,
reach:
https://www.mail-archive.com/ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/maillist.html
_______________________________________________


Ai mailing list
Ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
http://accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mailman/listinfo/ai

Disclaimer:
1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of
the
person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity;

2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the
mails
sent through this mailing list..



To check if the post reached the list or to search for old posting,
reach:
https://www.mail-archive.com/ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/maillist.html
_______________________________________________


Ai mailing list
Ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
http://accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mailman/listinfo/ai

________________________________

Caution: The Reserve Bank of India never sends mails, SMSs or makes
calls
asking for personal information such as your bank account details,
passwords, etc. It never keeps or offers funds to anyone. Please do not
respond in any manner to such offers, however official or attractive
they
may look.


Notice: This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential
and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are
addressed. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination,
use,
review, distribution, printing or copying of the information contained
in
this e-mail message and/or attachments to it are strictly prohibited. If
you
have received this email by error, please notify us by return e-mail or
telephone and immediately and permanently delete the message and any
attachments. The recipient should check this email and any attachments
for
the presence of viruses. The Reserve Bank of India accepts no liability
for
any damage caused by any virus transmitted by this email.
Disclaimer:
1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of
the
person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity;

2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the
mails
sent through this mailing list..



To check if the post reached the list or to search for old posting,
reach:
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_______________________________________________


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--
Avinash Shahi
Doctoral student at Centre for Law and Governance JNU
Disclaimer:
1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of
the
person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity;

2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the
mails
sent through this mailing list..



To check if the post reached the list or to search for old posting,
reach:
https://www.mail-archive.com/ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/maillist.html
_______________________________________________


Ai mailing list
Ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
http://accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mailman/listinfo/ai

________________________________

Caution: The Reserve Bank of India never sends mails, SMSs or makes calls
asking for personal information such as your bank account details,
passwords, etc. It never keeps or offers funds to anyone. Please do not
respond in any manner to such offers, however official or attractive they
may look.


Notice: This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are
addressed. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, use, review, distribution, printing or copying of the information contained in
this e-mail message and/or attachments to it are strictly prohibited. If
you
have received this email by error, please notify us by return e-mail or
telephone and immediately and permanently delete the message and any
attachments. The recipient should check this email and any attachments
for
the presence of viruses. The Reserve Bank of India accepts no liability
for
any damage caused by any virus transmitted by this email.
Disclaimer:
1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of
the
person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity;

2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the
mails
sent through this mailing list..



To check if the post reached the list or to search for old posting,
reach:
https://www.mail-archive.com/ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/maillist.html
_______________________________________________


Ai mailing list
Ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
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--
Avinash Shahi
Doctoral student at Centre for Law and Governance JNU
Disclaimer:
1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the
person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity;

2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails
sent through this mailing list..



To check if the post reached the list or to search for old posting, reach:
https://www.mail-archive.com/ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/maillist.html
_______________________________________________


Ai mailing list
Ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
http://accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mailman/listinfo/ai

________________________________

Caution: The Reserve Bank of India never sends mails, SMSs or makes calls
asking for personal information such as your bank account details,
passwords, etc. It never keeps or offers funds to anyone. Please do not
respond in any manner to such offers, however official or attractive they
may look.


Notice: This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are
addressed. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, use,
review, distribution, printing or copying of the information contained in
this e-mail message and/or attachments to it are strictly prohibited. If you
have received this email by error, please notify us by return e-mail or
telephone and immediately and permanently delete the message and any
attachments. The recipient should check this email and any attachments for the presence of viruses. The Reserve Bank of India accepts no liability for
any damage caused by any virus transmitted by this email.
Disclaimer:
1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the
person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity;

2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails
sent through this mailing list..



To check if the post reached the list or to search for old posting, reach:
https://www.mail-archive.com/ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/maillist.html
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--
Vivek Doddamani Ph-9868954833 & 08860410944  skype: vivek.doddamani,
FB: vivek doddamani.  105, Lancer Road, Near Mall Road, Delhi-110054.
Disclaimer:
1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity;

2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..



To check if the post reached the list or to search for old posting, reach:
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Ai mailing list
Ai@accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in
http://accessindia.inclusivehabitat.in/mailman/listinfo/ai

Disclaimer:
1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the 
person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity;

2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent 
through this mailing list..



To check if the post reached the list or to search for old posting, reach:
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