Hi Donald, Many thanks for your review. Please see my responses inline.
Thanks, Jensen On Sat, Nov 27, 2021 at 10:19 AM Donald Eastlake via Datatracker < nore...@ietf.org> wrote: > Reviewer: Donald Eastlake > Review result: Ready with Issues > > I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for > draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-17. These comments were written > primarily for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors. Document editors > and > shepherd should treat these comments just like they would treat comments > from > any other IETF contributors and resolve them along with any other Last Call > comments that have been received. For more details on the INT Directorate, > see > https://datatracker.ietf.org/group/intdir/about/. > > Based on my review, if I was on the IESG I would ballot this document as NO > OBJECTION. > > The following are issues I found with this document that SHOULD be > corrected > before publication and some comments: > > I am not particularly familiar with the technology in this draft os I > may > have missed things. > > Abstract: I believe it should say "the exact protocol is not specified" > adding "not". > Thanks for the catch. We will fix it. > > Section 3.7.1: The second paragraph of this section is one very long > sentence that I found confusing and which may be inconsistent. Perhaps a > structured list would be better than simple text. > Good suggestion. How about the following restructure: OLD: Specifically, the IRD announces two network maps, one CDNI Advertisement resource without dependency, one CDNI Advertisement resource depending on a network map, one filtered CDNI Advertisement resource to be defined in Section 5, one property map including "cdni-capabilities" as its entity property, one filtered property map including "cdni-capabilities" and "pid" as its entity properties, and two update stream services (one for updating CDNI Advertisement resources, and the other for updating property maps). NEW: Specifically, the IRD announces nine information resources as follows: * two network maps * one CDNI Advertisement resource without dependency * one CDNI Advertisement resource depending on a network map * one filtered CDNI Advertisement resource to be defined in Section 5 * one property map including "cdni-capabilities" as its entity property * one filtered property map including "cdni-capabilities" and "pid" as its entity properties * two update stream services + one for updating CDNI Advertisement resources + one for updating property maps > > Section 6.1.1.2: Seems a bit imprecise. I suggest adding at the end > "as a > decimal number without leading zeros". > Very good suggestion. We will add it. > > I was favorably impressed by the relatively complete information > included > for the Authors in the Authors' Addresses Section. I wish more drafts > did > this. > Thanks ;) > > The following are minor issues (typos, misspelling, minor text > improvements) > with the document: > > PID should be expanded on first use. Although, as far as I can see, > other > acronyms are appropriately expanded on first use. the document might > benefit > from a terminology section (maybe 1.1 or 2.3) as not everyone may read > the > document sequentially and remember all the expansions. > Reasonable suggestion. We will add such a section in the coming revision soon. > > Section 2.2, 2nd *'ed paragraph, "ALTO maps can be signed" adding "be". > Thanks for the catch. > > Section 3.6: I don't think the following text is needed and it could be > deleted. It merely expresses the default that later IETF documents can > modify earlier IETF documents. > There may be other > documents extending BaseAdvertisementObject and additional CDNI > capabilities. They are outside the scope of this document. To > support them, future documents can extend the specification defined > in this document. > Agree. > > Section 3.7.1: /// -> // > > Section 6.2.1: "to define" -> "defining" > Thanks. Will fix. > > Section 10: It is common to include the same information for > Contributors as > is included for Authors in the Authors' Addresses section but that has > not > been done. > Good catch. We will definitely fix this issue. We were using kramdown-rfc2629, which seems not to support the Contributors section yet. But it should work by embedding XML manually. > There are a few addition suggestions that I will send directly to the > authors. > > Really trivial: when you have > "xyz": stuff > for various values of xyz and stuff, there is no consistency in whether or > not > there is a space before the colon. > Ha, you are right. We will fix this trivial issue. > > > > _______________________________________________ > alto mailing list > alto@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/alto >
_______________________________________________ alto mailing list alto@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/alto
