Hi Jordi,
Many thanks for the review. See my response inline.
On Fri, Feb 17, 2023 at 12:38 AM Jordi Ros Giralt <j...@qti.qualcomm.com>
wrote:
> Hi Jensen and authors,
>
> Below my comments, thanks.
>
>
> Comments related to the two YANG Models:
> -----------------------------------------------------------
>
> * In the Abstract paragraph: "The operator can use the data model to
> create and update ALTO information resources". Then, in Section 5.4.2 we
> have "The operator of the ALTO server can use this model to create, update,
> and remove the ALTO information resource", indicating the support for
> "removing" information resources. Should we change the sentence in the
> abstract to include "remove"? It would look like this:
>
> s/The operator can use the data model to create and update ALTO
> information resources/The operator can use the data model to create,
> update and remove ALTO information resources/
>
> (The same change would need to be applied in the Introduction where that
> same sentence appears.)
>
Good catch.
>
> * In the Abstract paragraph: "(...) manage the access control, configure
> server-to-server communication and server discovery (...)". Yet in Section
> 5.3.1.2 we have "The YANG module defined in this document does not contain
> any configuration for the communication between two ALTO servers". So the
> two statements seem to be somewhat contradictory, the first one stating
> that the model can be used to "configure server-to-server communication"
> while the second one implying that "configuration for the communication
> between two ALTO servers" is out of scope.
>
> (The same change would need to be applied in the Introduction where that
> same sentence appears.)
>
We have reached the agreement that server-to-server communication only
focuses on server discovery. Will revise the content.
>
>
> * Paragraph 5.4.2 says: "Each resoruce entry provides configurations
> defining how to create or update an ALTO information resource." This
> seems to indicate that the OAM model provides semantics to allow the
> operator to create and update an IR, but it's not obvious how this is done.
> Would you be able to provide an example of how the model can be used to
> create (or update) an IR?
>
To create/update an IR, the operator just needs to write a new resource
node into the resource list. I have no strong opinion on whether we should
provide such an example. If needed, we can add an example in the appendix.
>
> * The sentence "One categories of the type-specific parameters are common
> for the same type of ALTO information resource" is a bit confusing ("One"
> is singular, "categories" is plural)
>
> * I think where it says "The other categories of the type-specific
> parameters are algorithm-specific" it should say "The other category of the
> type-specific parameters is algorithm-specific". Since earlier the text
> says there are "two categories" and this refers to the 2nd category
> (singular).
>
Fixed.
>
> * In the 'http-listen' feature in Section 7.1, should we add a 'reference'
> field pointing to RFC 7285?
>
Good point. But "http-listen" is not a feature of RFC 7285. We may wait for
feedback from the YANG doctor review.
>
> Implementation questions:
> -------------------------------------------------------
>
> * Have the two YANG models described in this document being implemented as
> part of OpenALTO? Are there plans to do so? Would be a great way to get a
> sense of how the YANG models perform on "running code".
>
> Yes, we plan to have a demo in the coming IETF hackathon. Actually, in the
backup slides of our IETF 115 presentation (
https://datatracker.ietf.org/meeting/115/materials/slides-115-alto-alto-oam-yang-01),
we have shown some early implementation of how to translate the YANG models
into the OpenALTO configuration.
> Comments about grammar and nits:
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> s/What is in the scope of this document?/The following is in the scope of
> this document/
>
> s/What is not in the scope of this document?/The following is not in the
> scope of this document/
>
> s/Data model for deploy an ALTO server/Data model for deploying an ALTO
> server/
>
> s/Data model for operate and manage/Data model for operating and managing/
>
> s/configuration for ALTO services/configuration of ALTO services/
>
> s/in this document provide all the/in this document provides all the/
>
> s/how an ALTO client discover/how an ALTO client discovers/
>
> s/Cases for other mechanisms can be augmented in the future modules./Future
> modules can be augmented to support other mechanisms./
>
> s/If the on-change attribute presents,/If the on-change attribute is present,/
>
> s/Otherwise, if the feed-interval attribute presents,/Otherwise, if the
> feed-interval attribute is present,/
>
> s/MUST present/MUST be present/
>
> s/to create, update, and remove the ALTO information resource/to create,
> update, and remove ALTO information resources/
>
> s/Each resoruce/Each resource/
>
> s/MUST also include the a dependency/MUST also include a dependency/
>
> s/One categories of the type-specific parameters are common for the same type
> of ALTO information resource/One category of the type-specific parameters are
> common for the same type of ALTO information resource/
>
> s/all the other types of resource entries have augmented algorithm node/all
> the other types of resource entries have an augmented algorithm node/
>
> s/An example of extending algorithm node/An example of extending the
> algorithm node/
>
> s/at information resource level/at the information resource level/
>
> s/is supported by the following configuration/is supported using the
> following configuration/
>
> s/depolyment/deployment/
>
> s/This grouping defines data model/This grouping defines a data model/
>
> s/This grouping defines base data model/This grouping defines the base data
> model/
>
> s/Grouping for configuration of how to set up server discovery/Grouping for
> the configuration of how to set up server discovery/
>
> Many thanks for catching all the grammar issues. Will fix them in the next
revision.
Thanks,
Jensen
> -------------------
>
> Thanks,
> Jordi (Speaking as individual)
>
>
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