Date: Mon, 19 Nov 2001 17:21:28 -0500
Subject:  UK Troops Told 'Go to Hell'
UK Troops Told 'Go to Hell'

Via NY Transfer News * All the News That Doesn't Fit

[Everyone TRIED REAL HARD to tell Whitey to mind his own biznezz...
but does Whitey ever listen? No way, Jose! The fun is about to begin.

"Darn it! It was OUR bombs that let them win Afghanistan," squeaks
Dummy, stamping his feet.

"Go take your nap, we grownups will have to handle this," says Rummy,

"Handle it!? HOW??? My Crusade's all messed up!" howls Dummy.

"I'll just drop more bombs," says Rummy. "That'll shut the wogs up."

"And I'll arrest the press -- ALL the press. They're a bunch of
troublemaking TERRORISTS," says Scummy.

"And we'll get Colin to persuade every other country to arrest THEIR
press, too! Don't Worry, Mr. President, We're ON IT!"

Saturday November 17 9:18 PM ET (via Yahoo)

U.N. Hopes for Afghan Gov't on Hold

By EDITH M. LEDERER, Associated Press Writer

UNITED NATIONS (AP) - U.N. hopes for speedy action to install a
broad-based government in Afghanistan are on hold because the
victorious northern alliance doesn't appear to be in any hurry to
share power.

In just over a week, alliance forces that controlled a tiny part of
northern Afghanistan swept south as Taliban fighters fled to escape
punishing U.S. airstrikes. Suddenly, two-thirds of Afghanistan is in
alliance hands, including the capital, Kabul, and warlords from the
various alliance factions are filling the power vacuum.

`It's all happened quicker than we thought,'' Britain's U.N.
ambassador, Sir Jeremy Greenstock, told British Broadcasting Corp.
radio Saturday. `We didn't realize the Taliban were such a house of

Former president Burhanuddin Rabbani, whose faction dominates the
alliance toppled by the Taliban in 1996, returned to Kabul on
Saturday, appearing to further entrench the alliance's hold on the

This wasn't part of the U.S. or the U.N. game plan.

On Saturday, U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan strongly reiterated
the need for a government that includes a wide range of Afghan

`If they do not do that, and one group tries to control power and
assert itself, it is going to be a problem down the line. And I would
hope that Mr. Rabbani also is aware of this happening since he knows
intimately the history of his own country,'' Annan said during a
visit to Ottawa.

The United States had gotten a promise from the northern alliance not
to take Kabul so the United Nations could quickly arrange a meeting
of Afghanistan's disparate ethnic groups and put together a
broad-based government to run the country.

But with the alliance savoring its newfound power, the prospect of a
truly representative government has become more uncertain.

A White House official said Saturday that the United States has been
pressuring the northern alliance - largely made up of ethnic
minorities - to share power and to let the U.N. oversee assembly of
the new government. Several U.S. officials are in the region and in
direct contact with the northern alliance, including James Dobbins,
the special envoy for Central Asia.

The official, speaking on condition he not be identified, reiterated
that the administration does not want to force a government on
Afghans. But the new government must represent the country's diverse
ethnic and political factions, the official said.

The top U.N. envoy for Afghanistan, Lakhdar Brahimi, has outlined
plans for a two-year transitional government backed by a
multinational security force. He is trying to organize a meeting of
Afghanistan's many ethnic and tribal groups to decide their own
future - hopefully sometime next week.

The United Nations wants it held on `neutral'' turf outside
Afghanistan. But after the capture of Kabul, the alliance's foreign
minister, Abdullah, invited all Afghan factions except the Taliban to
come to the capital to debate the new government.

The United States is urging the alliance to commit to the meeting and
to compromise on its demand that it be held in Kabul, a U.S. official
said in Washington on condition of anonymity. Brahimi's deputy,
Francesc Vendrell, arrived in Kabul on Saturday to try to persuade
alliance officials.

`It's an extraordinarily difficult situation in which the U.S. and
its allies are not in a position to exert control, or even
significant influence, over their local allies on the ground whose
military victory they smoothed the path for,'' said former Canadian
ambassador David Malone, president of the International Peace
Academy, a New York think tank.

Col. Bob Stewart, who was commander of the British U.N. forces in
central Bosnia during the Balkans conflict, said the United Nations
was moving too slowly.

`Fundamentally, the United Nations should have moved much faster and
got people on the ground there,'' he told BBC.

Greenstock said he didn't think the criticism was fair.

`You can't just move in behind a load of warlords and start taking
over a capital city belonging to another country,'' he said on the
radio program. `It all has to be done with legitimacy, with the
support of the Security Council, and these things take a few days to

At a closed-door meeting Friday with the `Group of 21'' countries
that has been seeking peace in Afghanistan, diplomats quoted Brahimi
as saying: `Don't tell me speed is of the essence. Tell the factions.
And use your influence to get them to the meeting and back off from

Ravan Farhadi, an envoy for Rabbani's government, which is still
recognized by the United Nations, told the General Assembly the
alliance had no intention of monopolizing power.

`All ethnic groups must be equally represented and given a voice,''
he said Wednesday.

But diplomats say Farhadi has little clout with alliance military
forces. And if the northern alliance fails to keep its envoy's
promise, it risks `losing the international recognition that the
Rabbani government tenuously enjoys at the United Nations,'' Malone

No multinational force has been drawn up yet, but a host of countries
have pledged troops. Along with U.S. forces already on the ground,
the foreign troops could pressure the northern alliance forces to
share power.

Brahimi said Friday that `we will go only as fast as the Afghans are
willing to go.'' But, he said, `the more time is wasted, more
problems may crop up and make progress that much more difficult.''

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