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Kids say the darnest things

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was
coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop,
and turn to the crowd. While facing the crowd, he
would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it
went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way
down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was
near tears from laughing so hard by the time he
reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the
child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."

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One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was
"acting up" during the morning worship hour. The
parents did their best to maintain some sense of order
in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the
father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly
up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the
safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to
the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"


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And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash
baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."


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A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you
can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm
having a real good time like I am."


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A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the
way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet
in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are
sleeping."


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The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached,
he moved briskly about the
platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he
moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and
nearly tripping before jerking it again. After
several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third
pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he
gets loose, will he hurt us?"


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Six-year old Angie, and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting
together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out
loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel
asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men
standing by the door? They're hushers."


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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
"Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I
mentally polished my halo, while I asked, "No, how are
we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.


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A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming
quite knowledgeable about the Bible.
Then, one day, she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was
the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King
James Virgin?


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I had been teaching my three-year old daughter,
Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at
bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the
prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened
with pride as she carefully enunciated each word,
right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into
temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail.
Amen."

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