| From: | "Karen Lee Wald" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> |
| Subject: | French intellectuals to be sent to Afghanistan |
| Date: | Thu, 7 Mar 2002 08:28:38 -0800 |
HTTP://WWW.STOPNATO.ORG.UK ---------------------------
*Amalgamated* Press :
For Immediate Release:
March, 2002
French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan
French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan
to Convince Taliban of Non-Existence of God
Kabul---The clean-up portion of the ground war in
Afghanistan heated up yesterday when the Allies revealed
plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French
existentialist philosophers into the country to destroy
the morale of the remaining Taliban zealots by proving
the non-existence of God.
Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade,
or 'Black Berets', will be parachuted into the combat
zones to spread doubt, despondency and existential
anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous
intellectual battles fought during their long occupation
of Paris's Left Bank, their first action will be to
establish a number of sidewalk cafes at strategic points
near the front lines.
There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about
the absurd nature of life and man's lonely isolation in
the universe. They will be accompanied by a number of
heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will propagate
fear, uncertainty and doubt by looking remote and
unattainable.
Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke
yesterday of his confidence in the success of their
mission. Sorbonne graduate Belmondo, a very intense and
unshaven young man in a black pullover, gesticulated
wildly and said, "The Taliban are caught in a logical
fallacy of the most ridiculous proportions. There is no
God and I can prove it."
Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on
man's inescapapable lack of freedom of action, with
special reference to the work of Foucault and the films
of Alfred Hitchcock.
However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to
condemn the operation as inhumane, pointing out that the
effects of passive smoke from the Frenchmens' endless
Gauloises and Gitanes could wreak a terrible toll on
civilians in the area.
AP/March,2002
I have no idea where this piece of satire came
Kabul---The clean-up portion of the ground war in
Afghanistan heated up yesterday when the Allies revealed
plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French
existentialist philosophers into the country to destroy
the morale of the remaining Taliban zealots by proving
the non-existence of God.
Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade,
or 'Black Berets', will be parachuted into the combat
zones to spread doubt, despondency and existential
anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous
intellectual battles fought during their long occupation
of Paris's Left Bank, their first action will be to
establish a number of sidewalk cafes at strategic points
near the front lines.
There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about
the absurd nature of life and man's lonely isolation in
the universe. They will be accompanied by a number of
heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will propagate
fear, uncertainty and doubt by looking remote and
unattainable.
Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke
yesterday of his confidence in the success of their
mission. Sorbonne graduate Belmondo, a very intense and
unshaven young man in a black pullover, gesticulated
wildly and said, "The Taliban are caught in a logical
fallacy of the most ridiculous proportions. There is no
God and I can prove it."
Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on
man's inescapapable lack of freedom of action, with
special reference to the work of Foucault and the films
of Alfred Hitchcock.
However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to
condemn the operation as inhumane, pointing out that the
effects of passive smoke from the Frenchmens' endless
Gauloises and Gitanes could wreak a terrible toll on
civilians in the area.
AP/March,2002
I have no idea where this piece of satire came
from; it was passed on by Jose Pertierra. I suppose
we should issue a disclaimer that we know this is not
REALLY an AP cable, so AP doesn't get mad at us.....:)
==========================
Karen Lee Wald
2175 Aborn Road, apt. 164
San Jose, CA 95121
telephone 408-532-6147
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Karen Lee Wald
2175 Aborn Road, apt. 164
San Jose, CA 95121
telephone 408-532-6147
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
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