Thomas and Others,
Being a "real man" has nothing to do with gender or age. It has to do
with responsibilty and keeping going when many days you can't seem to
see a reason why, and all your efforts seem to be wasted, and the harder
you try to do "the right thing" the poorer the end results seem to be.
I know those things because my father once attempted to raise me as his
"first born son"; I know those things because too many times in my life
the man in my life disappeared and left me with all the responsibilites
and few, if any, resources; I know those things because I sometimes
still get scared thinking back to times when I did absolutely insane
things, risking my life, to try and keep food in the kids' bellies and a
roof over their heads; I know those things because although now I am
"financially secure" [read permanent and total disability pension], the
battles I have to fight are in trying to guide grown kids and not beat
myself up too much when I can't get done the things I feel I *should*
get done.
Being a real man is questioning oneself, and learning to forgive oneself
for being less than perfect. Being a real man is learning the true
value of things which can't be bought for any price -- the feeling of
knowing you've done something well, the gentle touch of a hand that wants
only to remind you that you're loved, the smile of a child discovering
something new, the luxury of being physically tired from a job
completed, the smell of rain on dust after months of drought, the sound
of birds, the sound of honest joyful laughter, the blind trust of those
you work with or live with in the day to day struggle, the joy of having
a really truly honest-to-gosh "day off."
Being a real man means you don't have to brag about the good things, and
you don't need to complain about the things which go wrong.
Being a real man means not being afraid to reach out, or ask for help,
when things seem hopeless. And it means not feeling less of a person if
the help doesn't come the way one hoped it would.
Being a real man means accepting where you are and working toward where
you want to be -- physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually.
Being a real man means not caring what others say about you, as long as
you can say you did the best you could, at the time, under the
circumstances. A real man looks inside to find identity, and is able to
push aside labels others try to apply.
Real men are rare creatures, or so it would seem at times. But every
man, woman and child we come in contact with has the potential to become
"a real man" with encouragement and education that is seldom found in
schools these days.
Real men know, and accept, that one cannot be "a real man" 24/7/365
because no one is perfect, and the way to learn is often through making
mistakes and then fixing things.
Real men aren't afraid to cry, and feel better for it. Real men aren't
afraid of showing weakness at times, because that gives another "real
man" the opportunity to help, and share strength.
Real men know that what goes around comes around, and real men don't
waste time or energy in plotting vengence or hating -- because it's just
not worth the effort, and the results are seldom satisfying.
Real men look for reasons, not excuses. Real men give the benefit of
the doubt to others who seem to be making excuses, because the reasons
could very well be totally valid. A real man extends patience and
courtesy to others, knowing that one cannot expect others to always do
so in return ... but it's worth taking the chance.
Last, but by no means least, real men don't have to prove -- to anyone
-- that they are "real men."
I know *all* those things, because I have been lucky enough in my
lifetime to have met, or worked with, or dealt with, real men of every
gender, orientation, age, nationality, belief structure ...
l.d.
====
On Fri, 18 May 2001 19:17:14 -0700, Thomas Tabler wrote:
> Dear List:
> On Saturday, May 12, Thomas Mueller wrote:
>>> Anybody who talks like that deserves to be crucified! If that is
>>> what you mean by real men, then I am proud of my femininity!
> On Saturday, May 12, Samuel Heywood <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>>> you can drive nails through the hands of a real man and he will
>>> suffer excruciating pain, but he....{rest snipped}
> Dear List:
> Perhaps. I, like many of my generation, possibly are insecure
> in their manhood. Perhaps I also missed a few points of Sam. But we
> all are persons, and persons have problems. Perhaps all of you don't
> have a sister who has not worked 60 days in her chosen pro-
> fession yet, nor have a pastor who is over 65 years old that has a
> hard time updating his mailing List. Nor do you work two jobs.
> Perhaps you don't live in a society dominated by envy of the nearby
> employer Microsoft, nor talk to a man who lived in another state who
> is going to Redmond in the morning to work on their "campus". Perhaps
> you don't work at a service station or a hotel. Or do you see
> blue-collar men who start work at 4 a.m., and drive 40 miles to get
> to work in bad traffic, who raise three children and have two game
> systems, a T.V., and a computer newer than mine at home and complain
> about the price of a small cup of coffee. Who work twelve hour days
> for 5 or 6 days, drive home, play with the kids, kiss the wife, chop
> wood, and fall asleep in front of the T.V. after downing one beer.
> Perhaps you are not an usher/or sexton of a church that has less than
> five show most Sundays. Perhaps you are not a Christian who has to
> sell pornography at work or hear the complaints of the night auditor.
> Perhaps you go on vacations on occassion. Perhaps this is not your life.
> It is mine. I am not an expert on real men.
> Yours,
> Thomas Tabler/"tomstfor"
> -- This mail was written by user of Arachne browser, WWW Web browser for DOS--
-- Arachne V1.70;rev.3, NON-COMMERCIAL copy, http://arachne.cz/
