This is a collection I haven't seen before. And they do say that a
smile or laugh can warm a cold day...
----- Forwarded message begin -----
~~~ HOW TO PLEASE YOUR I.T. DEPARTMENT ~~~
1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure
to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby
pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies
and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it
deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
2. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the
error messages from here.
3. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for
coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your
password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver
passwords.
4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not
what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know
that you can't get into your mail because your computer
won't power on at all.
5. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance,
delete it at once. We're just testing.
6. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right
in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.
7. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks
it up and flags it as a rush delivery.
8. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support.
There's electronics in it.
9. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on
an I.T. person's chair with no name, no phone number and
no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.
10. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't
have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.
11. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly,
reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks
do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.
12. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20
times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.
13. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send
the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is
bound to work.
14. Don't learn the proper term for anything technical. We
know exactly what you mean by "My thingy blew up".
15. Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.
--
Joyce
--
Joyce Schowalter, Editor in Chief, and
Co-Conspirator to Make the World A Better Place
http://www.HeroicStories.com
------ Forwarded message end ------
-- Arachne V1.70;rev.3, NON-COMMERCIAL copy, http://arachne.cz/
