So far everyone's response to Robin's very interesting question has assumed that
flirting is entirely instrumental. Although I have no doubt that nearly every
explanation for subtlety and ambiguity that has been proposed is correct to some
degree I think there is another explanation as well and I suspect it is the most
important. First let me introduce the observation that I see a lot of people flirting
who have absolutely no intention of mating. I know lots of men and women who flirt in
their relationships with each other where both have an understanding that they are
just playing a game. Why would they do this if it wasn't fun? I strongly suspect that
a lot of flirting is like dancing (which is itself a form of courtship) -- it is
pursued for the fun of it and not exclusively as a means to an end. If I'm right then
the question of why it is subtle and ambiguous has an obvious answer. Dancers don't
try to get from one side of the floor to the other as fast as they can with th!
e minimum of effort. People who are flirting don't always want to get into bed as
quickly as they possibly can for very similar reasons. Subtlety (which I think
necessitates ambiguity) is normally part of the aesthetic.
-- Bill Dickens
William T. Dickens
The Brookings Institution
1775 Massachusetts Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20036
Phone: (202) 797-6113
FAX: (202) 797-6181
E-MAIL: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
AOL IM: wtdickens
