Dubyanomics

[Alypius Skinner]

Our president's economic policy--in his own words.   DUBYA EXPLAINS WHY THE FRENCH ECONOMY LAGS BEHIND OURS:   "The French don't have a word for 'Entrepreneur.'"   DUBYA EXPLAINS OUR TRADE DEFICIT:   "The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."   DUBYA ASSESSES HIS PERFORMANCE AS OUR NATION'S CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER:   "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future." DUBYA BELIEVES IMPROVING EDUCATION IS IMPORTANT FOR OUR ECONOMIC GROWTH:    "We're going to have the best educated American people in the world." "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children." "Rarely is the question asked, "Is our children learning?"   DUBYA EXPLAINS WHY WE SHOULD CONTINUE FUNDING THE SPACE PROGRAM:   "For NASA, space is still a high priority."   "It's time for the human race to enter the solar system." DUBYA WANTS TO EXPAND SMALL BUSINESS:   "The role of government is to create an environment that encourages Hispanic-owned businesses, women-owned businesses and anybody-kind-of-owned businesses."   DUBYA'S ANALYSIS OF THE FEDERAL BUDGET:   "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."   DUBYA REVEALS AMERICA'S COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE:   "I'm thrilled to be here in the bread basket of America because it gives me a chance to remind our fellow citizens that we have an advantage here in America-we can feed ourselves."   DUBYA'S VIEWS ON BIO-TECHNOLOGY:   "It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber."   DUBYA'S COST-EFFECTIVE PLAN TO REDUCE CRIME:   "I think we ought to raise the age at which juveniles can have guns."     DUBYA'S PLAN TO BALANCE HOMELAND SECURITY NEEDS WITH BUDGET CONSTRAINTS:   "I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will." DUBYA'S POLICY ON ECOLOGY AND THE ENVIRONMENT:   "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."   (Don't worry.  I'm sure he has lots of good advisors.)