Will the £25m Lord Of The Rings musical be a monster hit?
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For
a fictional world boasting ten kingdoms, endless mountain ranges and an
enchanted forest or two, Middle Earth is hot, dark and surprisingly
cramped.
There's an ashen-faced Gandalf, a grumpy-looking
Saruman and a balding Aragorn busy exchanging flirty glances with a
gorgeous Arwen. Four fat hobbits adjust their false bottoms and make
puerile jokes.
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Aragorn and Arwen, and Gandalf take to the stage
Evil empire: Saruman with his orc warriors
A homesick Gollum is texting his girlfriend Tracey in Canada, and
lolling about in the background is an army of foul-mouthed Rohan
warriors - all squashed into the darkened wings of the Theatre Royal,
Drury Lane.
Every remaining inch of floorspace is filled with highly-sexed, leather-clad
orcs.
They're
everywhere - lying on benches, flopped asleep in corners, doing Sudoku,
flicking idly through magazines, but mostly lusting after Arwen, aka
classically trained actress Rosalie Craig, 26.
"God, she's gorgeous - an absolute babe," drools one through his scary plastic
fangs.
"Too right mate," hisses back another. "And even better looking out of her
costume... but not a patch on Galadriel."
Welcome
to The Lord Of The Rings, the musical - the biggest, most spectacular,
expensive and ambitious piece of theatre ever to be produced.
Or
at least it will be when, after more than four years of sleepless
nights for producer Kevin Wallace, a dry run in Toronto last year, four
months of rehearsals, six weeks of previews and £25million investment,
it finally opens on June 19.
Lord
of the Rings: The £1million revolving stage featured in the £25million
stage version of the hit movie. But will it be worth it?
The
scale is staggering - a £1million, 40-ton rotating stage lifts and
falls in 17 different sections, 50 actors, 19 musicians, 60 crew
working behind the scenes for every performance, 504 costumes and 256
costume changes each show, for starters.
But most surprising is
perhaps the fact that director Matthew Warchus and his writing partner
Shaun McKenna have managed to crunch down Tolkien's 1,000-page trilogy
into a three-hour (including interval) Middle Earth extravaganza,
jam-packed with singing, dancing, flying, fighting, acrobatics,
stilt-walking, special effects and lashings of hobbiting about.
I arrive part-way through the technical rehearsal, a marathon of long
hours, deathly slow progress and bad tempers during which the sound,
lighting and special effects are fitted to the script.
Kevin
Wallace describes the show as: "Shakespeare meets Cirque du Soleil. It
pushes the boundaries of what people expect to see in a theatre," he
adds. "It's a great story, but with the pace and excitement of a
fairground ride."
Maybe, but progress right now isn't very white-knuckle. Every sequence takes
hours to perfect.
The orcs and Rohan warriors - fighting under burning hot lights in
masked armoured costumes weighing more than a stone each - are near
breaking point and everyone's getting snappy.
"It's a bloody
nightmare," grumbles ensemble member Richard Roe cheerily. "I've got
eight costume changes - I'm a wood elf, a Gondorian, a hobbit, you name
it... but the orc's the worst.
"It may be the most exciting, fantastic, amazing thing I've ever been in, but
every time I sit down I fall asleep."
Rehearsals are officially from 2pm to 10.15pm, but the director,
producer, stage manager and much of the crew have been working 17-hour
days for months.
Gollum and, right, female hobbits prepare to make a catch
When the cast and crew head off each evening, the carpenters arrive to
keep working overnight on the staggeringly beautiful sets. The
biggest revelation of the whole production, though, is the music. Who
in their right mind would try to put The Lord Of The Rings to music?
Kevin Wallace, of course.
And it's not just any old music.
Kevin left it to the Mozart of Madras - contemporary Indian composer AR
Rahman - and Finnish folk music group Varrtina to bring it all to life.
And the most ridiculous thing is that it actually works.
While the stage is a slice of fantasy, the cavernous auditorium looks like a
film set.
Cables are draped everywhere, trestle tables groan with high-tech
equipment and the bins are overflowing with empty coffee cups and
sports energy drinks bottles.
For anyone who hasn't read
Tolkien's epic, the story follows two hobbits called Frodo and Sam in
their quest to destroy the Ring of Power that would doom everyone if it
fell into the hands of the evil Lord Sauron. A slimy creature called
Gollum also has a big part to play.
At the Theatre Royal, everyone is knackered - Nurofen and ProPlus are Middle
Earth staples. And everyone looks pale and peaky.
Everyone, that is, but for the four principal hobbits Frodo (James
Loye, 27), Sam (Peter Howe, 26), Merry (Richard Henders, 39) and Pippin
(Owen Sharpe, 31), who glow with good health beneath their wigs, fat
suits and handmade hairy shoes.
"What could be better than
being a hobbit?" trills Sam/Peter. "We eat loads, drink loads, sleep
all the time, take on the forces of nature and save the world."
At the open hobbit auditions last September, there were strict criteria
- aspiring hobbits were to be between 16 and 35, no more than 5ft 6in
and, ideally, would sport "hairy toes and feet and display Hobbit-like
tendencies".
But hobbits have it easy - aside from height, the
dangers of typecasting and constant shaving (while hobbits are hirsute
in the foot area, they have no whiskers).
Unlike poor Gollum -
Michael Therriault is bracing himself for his big entrance: a
head-first 50ft vertical slither down the front of the stage, attached
to invisible wires.
"This is my worst nightmare," he whispers
through yellow pointed fangs, face clammy beneath ghoulish make-up.
"I'm terrified of heights."
Back on stage, problem after problem needs unravelling.
The revolving stage keeps jamming, the special effects are having
teething problems and the £100,000 Balrog - a fire-spewing demon that
pops up out of the floor - won't unfold properly.
But everyone
keeps their cool. Even Kevin, who, with his tired face, sweaty brow and
bloodshot eyes, looks dreadful. It's no surprise.
The RSC actorturned- producer from Limerick works 17-hour days, six days a
week and hasn't had a holiday since March 2005.
And, on top of the millions raised mainly from private investors, all
his life savings, including a £400,000 golden handshake' when he left
Andrew Lloyd Webber's Really Useful Company in 2003, have been poured
into Middle Earth.
"I've got to make it work. I'm not a rich person, so there's no alternative,"
he says softly.
West End musicals gobble up money and have just a one-in-ten chance of
breaking even, far less getting a glimpse of the success of Mamma Mia,
Les Miserables and Phantom Of The Opera.
The show was not
universally adored during its 22-week, lossmaking Canadian run.
"Largely incomprehensible," wrote Ben Brantley of the New York Times.
"Bored of the Rings," moaned the Toronto Star.
But Kevin is confident. "We've made a lot of changes and cut it right down.
This is my Everest and I will conquer it."
Everyone is convinced it's going to be a hit. The cast all claim to be "swept
up in the fellowship of the whole show".
As I make my farewells, the backstage Tannoy crackles into life: "Orcs to
stage, please."
As they hurry back to work, armour clanking and masks steaming up, I'd give
anything to be part of it.
Tickets, from £15, from the Theatre Royal Drury Lane box office, 0870 890
6002, www.seetickets.com.
