Vacation Humor
I just got back from
vacation and, boy, do I need a vacation!
I really needed a
vacation. I was starting to hum the tunes to rap songs.
On our vacation we stayed
in an 18th century inn that was the site of a notorious affair between Betsy
Ross and John Quincy Gifford.
"Winnebago" — I think
that’s an old Indian term meaning "I’m gonna kill those kids when I get
home!"
Just got back from
vacation, and I’m glad to say that my credit cards are all in
remission.
I asked my wife if she
could take any cruise she wanted, which would she take? She said, "Tom."
A cruise is when you go
for days and days--and see nothing but food.
We vacationed by car and
saw the U.S.A. the old-fashioned way--one tow truck at a time.
A dream vacation would be
one where your family all gets along.
For those of us in the US, it's time to start
planning our summer vacations.
Although you can't shoot them any more, you can still get a thrill by
photographing animals in the wild. The last time I was in Africa though, I
got a double hernia from carrying around the stupid rhino decoys.
Although you can't shoot them any more, you can still get a thrill by
photographing animals in the wild. The last time I was in Africa though, I
got a double hernia from carrying around the stupid rhino decoys.
Hawaii is also a possibility, assuming one can
afford it. The last time I
was there, I got a terrific tan. Near as I can figure, it cost me
approximately $65 a square inch.
was there, I got a terrific tan. Near as I can figure, it cost me
approximately $65 a square inch.
Japan is another spot worth considering. Be careful
in the cities though.
They all drive sub-compacts. It's been over ten years since any American
pedestrian was hit above the waist.
They all drive sub-compacts. It's been over ten years since any American
pedestrian was hit above the waist.
If you can't stand hot dry air, I'd avoid any
country that's mostly desert.
At most funerals, they have to prime the mourners. They still do baptisms,
but have to use a damp cloth.
At most funerals, they have to prime the mourners. They still do baptisms,
but have to use a damp cloth.
In India, it's not uncommon to see people praying
in the streets. While we
have the same thing in the US, it's pedestrians crossing.
have the same thing in the US, it's pedestrians crossing.
Mexico is famous for all its festivals. I went down
there once for the
annual Kaopectate Festival.
annual Kaopectate Festival.
Once in Paris I told my wife that I'd been there
four days and hadn't been
to the Louvre yet. She replied, "Don't worry, maybe it's just the water."
to the Louvre yet. She replied, "Don't worry, maybe it's just the water."
But if you can't get away for a vacation, just tip
every third person you
see. It'll be about the same
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see. It'll be about the same
