Airplanes Running Operating Systems

Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had
different operating systems running them.


DOS: Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it coast
till it skids, then jumps off, pushes, jumps back on, etc.


DOS with QEMM: Same as DOS, but with more leg room for pushing.


Macintosh: All the flight attendants, captains and baggage handlers look
the same, act the same and talk the same. Every time you ask a question,
you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know and everything
will be done for you without your knowing, so just shut up.


OS/2: To get on board, you have to have your ticket stamped 10 different
times by standing in 10 different lines. Then you fill out a form asking
how you want your seating arranged--with the look and feel of an ocean
liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you get on board and off the
ground, you will have a wonderful trip, except when the rudder and flaps
freeze, in which case you have time to say your prayers before you
crash.


Windows: Colorful airport terminal, friendly flight attendants, easy
access to a plane, and an uneventful takeoff. Then, all in a sudden,
boom! You blow up without any warning whatsoever.


NT: The terminal and flight attendants all look like those the Windows
plane uses, but the process of checking in and going through security is
a nightmare. Once aboard, those passengers with first class tickets can
go anywhere they want and arrive in half the time, while the vast
majority of passengers with coach tickets can't even get aboard.


Unix: Everyone brings one piece of the plane. Then they go on the runway
and piece it together, all the while arguing about what kind of plane
they're building.


CAIRO: The airplane is distributed among 47 different hangars in 13
airports scattered over 8 states, 4 Canadian provinces, and a remote
mountain hideaway in Nicaragua. But you don't need to know where the
airplane is or who it belongs to in order to fly it. Actually, you don't
fly the airplane itself; you fly a simulation that behaves just like the
real thing except that you don't go anywhere. But that's okay, because
when the world is at your fingertips you never need to leave home.


Christopher Pruitt
EDS, an HP Company
mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] 
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